Published April 10, 2011
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,577 Literary Works • 673,522 Reviews
Nice poem! It's a little inconsistent with format and tone, making it a little weird to read. The lines about being a daughter who pretends to be einstein felt random at best. I'm also confused by your censoring of "God." Just a little distracting in my opinion. I like the poem though, for what it is though. And by your own admission it is a little "juvenile."
The last stanza is strong and positive, and, if not surprising in subject, surprising in delivery.
Hello PinkPanther. I liked it, I enjoy those "expressing individuality" type support groups/poems/songs, etc. They're all sweet and stuff.
Okay, first of all, the rhyme scheme was unorganized and sloppy. For example, in the first stanza you have a strict pattern;
But then here in the second stanza you break that already:
And again, in the third, it's different:
Okay, so the point is if you want to keep a constant flow in your poetry if you're rhyming, you should always have a rhyme scheme. Otherwise it seems unorganized. For instance, in a Couplet there are two-line stanzas and each stanza has a simple AA, BB pattern.
Besides the distracting ". . ."'s and the uneven rhyme flow, I thought this was very cute.
~BTM
I truly loved this poem ^^ Hope to see more from you!! Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3