Published June 22, 2014
You are my biggest problem.
Your strong shoulders, Your caring eyes, Your infectious smile. You are the problem. I couldn't tear my eyes off you. You were perfect in every way, You are God's master piece. You are incredible, and the best part about you was - despite my flaws - you loved me. Every inch of me wanted to forget everything, and enjoy the steady rhythm of your heartbeat against my ear.
But I can't.
I'm not like that. I'm difficult, quick to anger, and stubborn. I'm a factory reject, my heartbeat is a defect, yet I'm not on the island of misfit toys. I'm alone here. Alone, until you came for me. Now every night before I go to sleep I think about the thousands of ways you could leave me but when I stretch my arms out in the morning your still with me.
I'm not good enough for you...
So why are you still here? Why didn't you leave like I thought you would? You can walk away unharmed, I won't blame you. I'm a world away. Too sane to believe the insanity behind the idea that you might love me for me. Love me for my quiet beauty, shy smile, and the way I fall asleep at night.
I'm not broken because my mind thinks I'm ugly. I'm not broken because I had bad past. I'm broken because of the way you love me so unconditionally. My embrace is like an open cage, your wings are strong, but you still wrap your arms around me. I keep you with unlocked chains, but your a prisoner with a will to stay.
So tonight, I'm going to leave the back door open with a note that says 'Thank You for stopping by, Please leave the door open for when love arrives'.
If you left then I'm right, I'm not meant to be loved.
But if you stayed. Oh, if you stayed.Tell me why you love me, so maybe, I can learn to love myself.
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Some great work you did on descriptions , It gives your essay that sense of sincerity and deep thinking. Otherwise I want To share with you and Old saying in my country, that sais that :'' Love is a part of our spirit, we don’t need a special someone to feel love, and definitely not a special occasion to share it. We were created with love and every single part of us, is filled with it. Love is a power, it’s not something to achieve in life, or something to look for. It’s beyond the emotion and above everything else and there’s no relationship in this world, can make you happy, unless you are from the inside.
Keep up the good work.
Thats deep. Thank you.
This was very interesting and I was constantly intrigued while reading it. You had great descriptions. I also liked how your adjectives weren't unique but the way in which you used them made it as if they were. I just started really getting into writing and this definitely inspired me. Great job and keep writing!
Oh wow. Thank you
I really enjoyed this, it wasn't quite a short story and just short a poem. It had a great flow and really enlightened the reader into how the character was feeling. The use of metaphors, especially to describe emotion was fantastic. I also really like how blunt the character was with the one line sentences, it gave the impression of the character wanting to be swayed in how they felt.
Hello
It's a weird mix, I agree. Thank you!
i love this poem, especially because it rhymes but not in an obvious way, it think it flows really naturally and gives a good effect.
This is a really beautiful poem that covers a really important issue of self doubt that lots of people feel- i love it.
I would love to see this as a short story because it has a really powerful plot that could pull of a short story. You use lots of really good devices and i like how some key points are in italics- well done!!
Its's not a poem, but then again i'm not quite sure what it is myself. Thank You though, I love to get feedback
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