Poet's Song

hey
first of all i wanna say this is a great poem, i really liked it,
your idea is awsome, it never came to my mind, i also think some punctuation is missing (i'm not good when it comes to punctuation too) but that's ok it's still good
i liked some lines like
"
Locked away in their prison of contrition.

Piecing together their emotions

From fragments of broken memories."
and
"You can try to sleep on the edge of the earth

And bury my voice in the ground.

But we won’t give in without a fight..."
very nice pome, keep writting and good luck

Hey! XD

Alright, once again i will start with the nitpicks.

Why have you only used punctuation in half of the piece?

The first part is missing:

This is your song

For the poets ' etc etc

and there are just random lines that don't have puncutation.

Apart from that, you've got some great lines in here, such as;

"You can try to sleep on the edge of the earth

And bury my voice in the ground.


But we won’t give in without a fight...'

These and these:

'Even if you disbelieve what you know!

Your sharpest words have cut my life! '

Very impressed with the eloquent diction used here.

Keep writing

~BSF

Hey Patrick, Shauzer here reviewing
I thought this poem was, as said below, very deep and I know there are a lot of poets out there who would thank you for writing it. The ideas you used were very nice, including the main ideas - you know, poets are the outcasts, blah blah blah. Not meaning to sound rude there, I'm just in a rush. I really liked the idea I really liked some of the clever things you said, for example - 'Your sharpest words have cut my life!' If not my favourite line, definitely one of I could get the sense from things like this, thought up ideas, that you really thought about the poem and looked it over before you put it in, and I commend you on that. I enjoy writing from the heart, but it doesn't hurt to look it over, and I've seen too many examples where they haven't been looked over before they were put in and there've been some silly mistakes
The only silly mistake I could see in this was when you said 'But you will see our triumphs soon.' Why did you say 'But' here? It doesn't fit well and there's nothing that could justify putting it there. Just a silly mistake, as I said, watch out for those I liked when you said

'You can try to sleep on the edge of the earth
And bury my voice in the ground.'

I found this to be the part of te poem in which was poured the most passion, and it struck me. It was damn good writing And I like the way you said 'bury my voice' My voice? That is so good Relates to the subject of poets, relates to the subject of how they're outcasts. It's brilliant, well done. I also liked your use of exclamation marks, just noticed it there, kudos! That adds another little something to the poem, it gives it even more passion! See what i did there? Oh ya. Anyway, I liked the poem. It was well done. I didn't personally have a connection to it, so I wouldn't consider it one of my favourites, but I know a lot of poetry writers on this would disagree
Keep writing, good potential.
Yours in ink,
TS.

Very deep.

The poem itself was well thought out. You put just the right words in to give us the fullest effect of the words and meaning. It empowered me with each word and I commend you for that.

The poem, however, can or cannot be organized in a better way. It's up to you to decide, but I feel like breaking it up could help improve it.