Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Loneliness

by Parks0311


Loneliness

A confusing feeling

In a room full of people

I somehow feel invisible

My stomach feels empty

But my heart fills with pain

My palms get sweaty

While my head goes numb

Somehow

Loneliness dissipates

And joy bubbles

When I am alone

Loneliness

Is it isolation?

Or idealistic?


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27 Reviews


Points: 122
Reviews: 27

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Mon Dec 19, 2022 5:44 am
NothingMore905 wrote a review...



I know this feeling all too well, its never a good feeling either, your fear takes over and it doesn't disappear until you find someone to talk to online or in person, i deal with this pain by escaping reality behind a screen makes me feel safe, i isolate myself from family and friends but sometimes i can't take the loneliness and i try and break out, but its impossible to escape until someone pulls you out considering how long you've been lonely for.




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5 Reviews


Points: 256
Reviews: 5

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Wed Dec 07, 2022 8:33 pm
YesChef wrote a review...



I really liked this poem! Loneliness is definitely a hard emotion to explain, but I think you've put it into words in a beautiful way!

I feel like this poem could do with just a bit of punctuation. Maybe think about adding in a few commas or dashes to break up the thoughts. As a reader, it feels just a touch overwhelming to read a poem with no breaks or stops.

But I like how you ended with two questions! It leaves the reader on a bit of a cliffhanger because they must come up with the answers.

Excellent poem! I enjoyed reading this!




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15 Reviews


Points: 591
Reviews: 15

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Wed Dec 07, 2022 5:37 pm
angxlari wrote a review...



hi!
i heavily relate to this writing. u did very well!!
loneliness off the bat for me is a very confusing emotion. i so deeply crave intimacy and closeness within the groups around me, yet once it happens, i feel lonely, or wish to go back to being unseen. its a love/hate and push/pull relationship, and u did very well at capturing that and the physical embodiments of what loneliness does to one. "loneliness dissipates and joy bubbles," so good! keep it up!!



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Parks0311 says...


Thank you so much! I'm so glad that I am not alone in feeling this way.



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Points: 67
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Mon Dec 05, 2022 2:08 pm
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I definitely felt that. I liked the poem's rhythm and how it felt sort of song-like. Definitely write more like this.



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Parks0311 says...


Thank you so much! I was really nervous to post this because it was my first one.



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Points: 200
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Mon Dec 05, 2022 12:48 pm
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endless says...



this feeling is something very relatable. the 'is it isolation? or idealistic?' really hits. great poem, keep up the geat work:)



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Parks0311 says...


Thank you i will!



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86 Reviews


Points: 4030
Reviews: 86

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Mon Dec 05, 2022 8:50 am
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loveissourgrapes wrote a review...



This poem is pretty relatable. I used to feel this way when quarantine and the pandemic hit. I like how this could be lyrical as well. And every time I read a emotional or relatable writings, it always suits to vibe of when I'm alone, reading on my bed and the wind going inside my window. This poem is cozy, keep it up writing poems @Parks0311!



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Parks0311 says...


Thank you! I'm glad you could relate to it!



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7 Reviews


Points: 25
Reviews: 7

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Mon Dec 05, 2022 2:30 am
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havengr1 wrote a review...



I love this poem, it kinda hits deep haha. I love how you contrasted a physical symptom (empty stomach) with a psychological symptom (pain-filled heart)
I don't really understand though how this poem is aimed at how sad loneliness it but then you say 'loneliness dissipates and joy bubbles'
overall though, I do like it, keep writing poems, I love them.



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Parks0311 says...


Thank you for your thoughts! I will keep your notes in mind for next time.




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