Published October 5, 2017
When people ask if I’ve got any siblings, I tell them no, and that’s the end of it. I was afraid to do that for a long time. Some part of me thought they’d see through it, see the truth behind my eyes like a shadow behind frosted glass. Kathy Edgecomb, I’d imagine them saying. Who does she think she’s fooling?
But people don’t guess. There’s no reason to. I haven’t got a single photo of her now, and Dad hasn’t talked about her since that rainy Christmas in 2009, when I had twice the usual presents and didn’t want to touch any of them. Mum doesn’t mention her, but she never really did.
For me, she stopped existing when I went to university. In those first few weeks, my housemates liked to talk about their families a lot, taking turns to outdo each other with tales of their bizarre parents and insufferable siblings, because complaining about them was easier than missing them. I remember standing in that pokey kitchen, a raspberry cider in one hand, the edge of the countertop biting into my lower back, when this redheaded guy – can’t remember his name – turned to me. He asked if I had any sibling stories to tell.
“No, I'm an only child,” I heard myself say.
And it was as easy as that. Redhead smiled, his teeth white and crooked, and called me lucky. I made a quip about Dad taking one look at me and deciding that one kid was quite enough, thank you very much, and he laughed in that jittery way you do when you’re not sure if someone’s joking.
From then on, she was gone. I thought she was gone.
But now I’m looking at the television, at that little headline rolling across the bottom of the screen. Martin’s saying something to Isabel, maybe telling her to put her shoes on the right feet, maybe telling her to get her mittens on. Isabel’s saying something to me, but it’s only a slur of noise.
The words squirm around behind the screen, turning to nonsense. When I close my eyes, it’s her face I can see, her shiny hair and sculpted, even smile. I see her pushing Dad’s copy of The Guardian into my lap, pointing at a headline with one pearly fingernail, asking me to make up a story based on it. It’s her favourite game.
“Start at the beginning,” she begs.
Start at the beginning.
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141,720 Literary Works • 675,608 Reviews
THIS IS AMAZING!!!! I've read this five times trying to think of any suggestions I can give to make improvements, but there's honestly nothing that I can say.
I absolutely love the way that the first sentence pulls the reader into the story, and the way that the narrator's personality shows through so clearly. So many lines here are really relatable, which is really fun to read.
The line where you said "because complaining about them was easier than missing them." was amazing. There were so many lines like this that were so fun to read because of the truth in them.
As previously stated, I absolutely loved this piece. Amazing work!
I really liked this! I have plenty of questions about the character, and what exactly happened to their sibling. Were they murdered? Did they kill themselves? Did they just up and leave one day? Are they something more then human, something unnatural? Something.....supernatural? What did they do that caused the other to just one day almost completely forget about them, how did they hurt the family? Your spelling was pretty good, a few words here and there but otherwise nothing too bad. It definitely has peaked my interest! In just a few words I was immediately curious and in few words you describe things in their whole. Great job, keep up the good work!
-Flumadiddle
Thank you! Can you tell me which words I spelt wrong, please? I ran this through a spellchecker so I'd like to know what it didn't catch.
Hello there!
There are a few things I look for in a story, especially the beginning.
1) The first sentence. It's not boring and it makes you read the second sentence. You did that very well!
2) Questions. I already have many questions that arise that I want to know more about. I need those answers. What in the world happened to her sister?
3) Do I want to keep reading? If the story is on a subject that isn't interesting to me, then I wont read it. but everyone has things that they like and dislike. But, your story pulls me in and makes me want to read the next chapter. Good job with that.
4) Last is grammar. I am terrible at grammar lol. The only thing that catches my eyes are misspelled words. You have none
Overall very well written. Good job and good luck! Keep writing!
Thank you
Woah. That was pretty good.
Great voice, great flow, just great.
It reads more like an opening chapter than a prologue, but who cares really.
I'm very intrigued. You've done a fantastic job of raising a question readers will want an answer to - what the heck did her sister do?! It's such a simple bait but done so well.
This is absolutely brilliant. You have perfectly portrayed a student's living area with so minimal words. This was very easy to relate to.
Also yay for this story being set in England. Where specifically, can I ask?
Anyways, I like your style of writing and would appreciate future tags if you post more.
-Zoom
Thank you! I'm not quite sure where the story is set yet. It's probably going to be somewhere in the north seeing as that's where I live, but I haven't pinned down a specific location. I'll be sure to tag you if I post more!