Young Writers Society

You have such a beautiful idea here. I haven't seen anything from a mother's point of view on this site yet which is unfortunate because it is such an important and emotional perspective. I love all of the ideas and images you create with this poem.

While your ideas are wonderful, the words do not flow very elegantly. Maybe using stanzas would help, but I'm not sure. Maybe some rhyming?

I really love this poem, thanks for sharing it.

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

First off I literally just wanted to ask you how you've been because I haven't seen you around in forever. Probably because of this baby of yours! I wanted to ask if this is related to the other poem with a similar name, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by Alexander Pope, or if this is inspired by the Charlie Kaufman movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The latter is based of Alexander Pope's poem, so that's why the names are the same. I didn't see any direct correlation, though maybe that could have been what inspired at least the title? Maybe you don't know either of these and just named this Eternal Sunshine? I don't know. That's why I'm asking!

I have to admit that I'm a real sucker for poems, especially sentimental poems, about children. This is especially sweet seeing that this is from the direct point of view of the mother. That's part of why this poem is so lovely automatically. At the same time, it's these experiences that are coming from a primary source that makes this so naked and so true to its core. While I could go on about the technical aspects of this poem, I first wanted to focus on the theme of this poem. While this is a standard poem that doesn't use too much experimentation or inventive poetic devices, I'm in the belief that this doesn't need to. For the reason that this work was written, it succeeds. This isn't meant to be the most complex, and that's because it doesn't need to be.

At the same time, I'd enjoy seeing more of a structure with the stanzas and more of a consistency with the punctuation here. Those are the two main parts I wanted to latch onto. Stanzas could be beneficial, so take them into consideration for organization. As for punctuation, try and be consistent with how you use it. You don't have to use it. You can use it all. You can use it without periods. It's your choice, but stay consistent. Overall a sweet poem that made me feel warm inside. Nice job!

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.