Cosmic Queen

Hello, InfiniteRectangles here with a review for you! Also, Happy Review Day!

Okay, on to the review. First, I liked how the title drew me in. It was so creative and intriguing that I just had to come read your poem. I also like the flow of your poem. It was gentle, almost like a lullaby.

Now I shall move on to the nit-picking. This seems a bit overly punctuated to me. You don't need a comma after every line. It kind of interrupts the flow and makes your poem feel a bit choppy. Also, I see that you have styled this after Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. While I like how you changed the words and made them your own, you sounded a little cliche. I have seen a lot of people use the Twinkle Twinkle style in at least one poem and at this point it has become trite. Yours is probably the most creative one I have seen, and as far as content goes, love the idea of the cosmic queen, but it still felt kind of ordinary. Simple poems are fine, but there is a such thing as too much simplicity, and that it what I am seeing here. Try mixing it up more, use some imagery to really bring the cosmic queen alive. Ya know?

Anyway, that it all I have for you. Overall it was a lovely poem, you just need to work on your delivery of it. Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night!

Hey there Creed. It's just lizzy stopping by for a review. I am going to try and fit in one more review before the day is over. So without further ado, let the reviewing begin.

As the year is coming to an end and the new one will shortly be here, I have decided to revamp my reviews. I haven't had this new style long so my analysis might be a bit long, for such a short poem.

Grammar and Spelling
I like to start with grammar and spelling, just so that I do not need to worry about it later on in my sometimes lengthy, rambling reviews.
When it comes to the application of grammar, specifically punctuation, on poetry I do not exceed. One thing that I think may be right, judging from the flow of your poem, is that the period at the end is not necessary. To me, it interrupts the flow of your poem. Before you were just using commas but the period on the last line, stops the train of thought, leaving you hanging.

Length
Something I always complain about when reviewing stories and poems is the length, mostly when they are really short. When Ifirst starting writing reviews, I was so inexperienced I would have classified your poem under short. With my current knowledge, I would say it was about average length. Now on to the fun part of reviewing, content.

Content
Content has to be my favorite part of reviewing. That is probably why I save it for the end. I liked your poem, and correct me if I am wrong, seems to run along the same lines as Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Several parts seem to match but I must say I like your version better. The title also drew me in, the cosmic queen, just left me with lots of questions. As I read the poem some were answered, some were not.

Anyways that is about all I have for this review. Welcome to YWS!
Happy Review Day!
-lizzy

Hi, Ruby here for a quick review

Always a fan of anything written about the mysterious night sky, this piece caught my attention even just from the title. The concept of a 'cosmic queen' is cool because that could mean so many things to different people: some may see it as an actual fictional queen of the universe, some may think you're likening it a celestial body existing in the actual universe. Either way, I thought it was a cool, and I liked to try and imagine what this cosmic queen would look like. It would have been a little more detailed if you had shed some light on the appearance of what exactly you're talking about, and it would have left a little more to elaborate on.

Overall though, this was a beautiful interpretation of my favorite childhood lullaby.

I love it! This was awesome!

Yeah, it reminded me a bit of Twinkle, Twinkle.
But you nailed it at the end. I love the last three lines.

"I wish I may,
I wish I might,
See my cosmic queen tonight."

And the first line.
"Sweet lady songstress from the stars."

Wonderful use of repetition there. I love the word 'songstress' btw.

I also love your title. "Cosmic Queen". It's really cool.

I have a few qs though: Is it the moon that you're referring to as the 'cosmic queen'?

And what do you mean by this line:

"Here to shield me from harsh lights"


Sweet and short read.
Thank you for your piece of art, OsirisCreed. I enjoyed reading it.

Hi OsirisCreed jessiebear here to tell you how nice your poem was.

First thing witch I liked about it is that it all rimed so well. The next thing witch I liked about it is that I reminded me of a song and that song was called (Twinkle twinkle little star.) So it did bring back some meres. Okay next thing is that the name is very dot so don't change it because that is what made me come here to read your poem so that is good.

Any way I loved the poem it was fantastic so grate job. And I hope you will Keep on weighting because I am looking for word to reading more of your work. And I hope you will let me now when you have posted another poem so I can review it are say what I liked about it for you.

And I hope you have a fantastic day are night.

From jessiebear.