Stories of the Wind
As I sit here, I wonder
and I ponder,
my mind wanders
from the trees
and the bees
and the birds that fly free,
to the steady beat of nature.
That gentle, steady beat
like the thumping of our feet
or the banging of the drums
and the clapping of our palms.
I close my eyes and listen to the stories of the wind,
the history that it brings
to us.
Why don’t we ever listen to the stories of the wind?
It can tell us where we’ve been.
The wind has seen it all
since the beginning of time,
always blowing
always flowing with experience
and never ceasing to watch the end
just trying to mend
and unbend
what was broken and twisted
telling us what we’ve done
how we’ve changed the earth God begun.
We’ve saluted to wars
and polluted for cars;
made slaves of one another;
made fools of each to other.
And all this time
the wind just watches
and catches
glimpses of our detriment
sighing with disdain
as we live our lives in vain.
It tries to warn us
with that gentle, steady beat,
tries to remind us
of a time when the birds were not the only ones to fly free.
Why don’t we ever listen to the stories of the wind?
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
This is the first time I've ever reviwed poetry apart from at school!
I didn't think I was hugely into them, but so many poems here are so lovely!!
You could be converting me!!!
This is a gorgeous poem.
I loved it.
Firstly, it flows beautifully.
Your rhythm here is brilliant.
It really is lovely-and understandable.
Well done!
Wow, I really really loved this poem. I think your use of rhythm is very nice. I also really liked how you rhymed, not too much that it was overpowering. But just enough so that we get a little taste here and there. Beautiful.
But there's some nit picks, you know I have them.
Your intro was nice, but then you get to where you say
It starts a to sound different here, you go from these really descriptive artsy phrases, then you say "The wind has seen it all." This is just my personal opinion, but I'd advise you to use some different words here, it sounds a tad off.
Here, I was just confused. Is the wind trying to clear up all out mistakes? Is this what you're getting at? I'd just take out the fogginess here, make it clear what you're trying to say.
Overall, nice work. This was a very good poem and I enjoyed it very much.
Love always,
-jade.
I love this poem, especially thebeginning of it. the rhyme scheme flowed very well and did not feel forced at all like it often can. I like poems that switch up their structure in teh middle of it. It adds to the meaning and creates some excitement. Some of the word choice felt a littl off to me though. But the poem is ver calming and very well written over all. Well done!
Hey there Oreo! I'm June, and I'm going to run over this for you
.
. Brilliant!
This is one of those sweet, natural poems that remind me alot of springtime. It has a beautiful flow to it, and I can envision so much through these words.
However! You tickled rhyme here! At the beginning, some words rhymed, but then you staggered it a bit with slant rhymes and whatnot. Then you dropped it altogether. That played with the flow of it a bit when read aloud, but it's alright.
* * *
Repetition dances in this poem! Sometimes it's okay, but here it's not really enjoyable. It's kind of just like... there; it's not helping us to realize anything new-- and it should be. You should make sure that you're using it effectively.
Watch your enjambment! (The running of one thought or sentence from one line to the next). In some places, it's great. In other places, it's not so great. It kind of feels like your thoughts get really stumbly.
* * * * *
All flaws aside, dear, I really liked this poem. Something about it just seems so... song-like to me. I can almost smell the wind right now... (except it smells like spring...? and it's winter now.)
Very well done, dear
June