A woman's desire

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
First of all, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy your time here, I know I have so far. If you need anything, feel free to ask me, I'd be happy to help!
Ok, on to the actual review now. I clicked on this because the simple yet somewhat mysterious title pulled me in. I liked the poem itself, too. The way you describe the woman in question is poetic, and well on its way to creating beautiful imagery. However, at this point I feel the imagery is somewhat half-formed, but still very impressive for your first work!
I think I'll go line by line on this one, just to make myself as clear as I can. To start, I think you should remove the comma at the end of the first line. This is a bit of a nit pick, but if I were reading the first sentence of the poem as just a sentence on its own, the pause the comma causes feels unnecessary, and I think it interrupts the flow a little bit.
In the second line, you say "the sun under THE shadow." I don't like that second "the", because it implies that there is only one shadow, and that the sun is under it. I think you should change that to "a shadow".
The next line was fine, although I believe that the period at the end should be a comma. Since you go on to describe clouds more, I believe that line and the next three should all be one sentence. However, I felt the fourth line was a little repetitive, because you mentioned a cloud again. You may have been trying to talk about the same cloud mentioned in the third line, but then you could have described it in a slightly different way, changing the word "cloud" to something, perhaps figurative, like "dream".
I had no corrections to the fifth line, but the sixth line sort of threw me for a curve. Why is the cloud designed by YOUR mind? Are you trying to say that you are God? I suggest either replacing "my" with "His", to imply that the cloud was created by God, or to change it to a collective "the", which might seem a little strange, but I think it could add another, deeper element to it.
Now, I'll do the last two lines at once. First of all, why is the woman a wind? Previously in the poem nothing has been mentioned about her being a wind, only that she creates clouds. Secondly, if the woman is a wind, why is the wind touching your eyes deeply? That sounds a but painful, to be completely honest. I suggest changing those lines so that they better reflect the rest of the poem, maybe including something about clouds again, or perhaps the window.
I have just one more comment, and that is about the title. While it was the thing that attracted me in the first place, I didn't feel that it had anything to do with the poem. Maybe use something like "A Woman's Whisper" or "A Lonely Woman".
Anyways, good job! Work on those little things, if you can, and if you need anything else, or clarification on any of my points, please let me know!
herbgirl

Review time!

Well this is very figurative to put it simply. However, I had to actually read it a few times over and yet I am still confused. Who is the "my"? Are they another god or are they someone with a power to design said god? Next is the last two lines:
"A beautiful woman is a wind,
which touches deeply my eyes."
A wind touches "my" eyes deeply?
Maybe you could re-word this, or maybe I am just dim.

This is Kaos here for a short review, as there isn't much content to go off of, but nonetheless, let's get into it!

The imagery in this poem is nothing special, but it's not bad. I would have liked to see more of it instead of only getting a glimpse into it, which makes it harder to evaluate. The whole poem itself only feels like a sort of a smaller part or stanza rather than a full poem, or a demo, which sucks for the reader.

The structure of the poem feels a bit weak to me as the lines are repetitive with the content and punctuation it feels as it goes through the same pattern for eight lines and then the poem ends. What about the woman, and what makes her distinguishable and worthy of a poem?

The meaning of this poem is unclear, which it feels like there was supposed to be some sort of meaning as there wasn't anything hiding it, but I couldn't find it. The poem has imagery, but what else? What does the imagery mean? I felt like the pretty imagery of the poem was a bit of a waste as it wasn't used to tackle some sort of theme or, it wasn't put towards anything.

The poem is called "A woman's desire" but the topic didn't really feel addressed to me, so I didn't really know why it was called that. Overall, this poem didn't really pull any deep emotions out of me or change my thoughts on anything, it felt kind of generic, but I would like to see something expanded of it with more of a direction put into it.

Have a great day.