Locked

Hello OracleofGalaxies!
This was a very touching and emotinal poem. I very much enjoyed the premise, and as someone who was previously given up on love, this poem was very touching and really made me stop and rethink that descision. You really have a way with words. The symbolism of the lock and key worked really well for what the poem was trying to convey, and I can defintly tell where the title came from. In reading this poem, it gives off a very emotinal vibe, and I like that. Not many poets around YWS seem to reach out into this territory. Or maybe they have, and I just don't know because I'm new here. Probably the latter.
But that doesn't stop the fact that this was a very great poem with a greatly conveyed story and message, and I enjoyed it very much.
That's all from me!

I really liked this one <3

i think this poem has a emotional value where a man does not want that any1 can access his heart or soul but his own heart so locked and protected by the paddlock has been stolen by smbody.he denies to accept it and says that his heart is locked but atlst he accepts that the key of the locked chambers had slipped unknowingly.

Dear OracleOfGalaxies,

EccentricRose is here to review! I'm not very good at finding mistakes but I can tell you what I think of the whole picture.

The title "Locked" sounds interesting and attracted me to want to read this poem. Inside, I found exactly what I was looking for; a great poem that went with the intriguing title! I love how this poem is shorter and to the point.

I love this line, "Locked is the door to my heart.

No one sets foot in the threshold."

And the very last line was beautiful. I really have to admit, that I love how you ended it. Brilliant! I like the "But would if."

Thanks for posting!

~Rose

So l, this poem is really cool and easy to read. I love the whole concept of it and how much truthfulness there is in this poem. As I can see you are new here, so hey glad you could join this site and get some good feedback and maybe even some bee friends. Okay how about I shut up and start talking about your piece of writing.

I love titles that make me question, and this one did that. The word itself has one meaning ad yet can be used for so much. Pretty sock if you ask me . So yeah, your title is right on the spot for having readers gravitate towards it.

In the description you said that this a poem about losing faith in love, and how all hope doesn't have to be gone. I think that this poem reflects that thought very nicely. One way you did this was you painted a picture with words. You used a language of description as vision, which adds a lot more depth and understanding to any poem, especially this one.

Losing faith in love is a gradual thing. It doesn't just happen overnight. There's always the little bit of you that doesn't want to give up, and even if you do, not all hope is gone. I think that this is noticeable through your last line (which is also my favorite line). Even though this person has been caged up for so long, trying to build a gate, a wall to keep the persons heart away from love. They have a key, and they sorta want to use it. That is what I got for the last line. I may be totally off, but that is just my perspective.

You did an amazing job on your poem! You have a lot of potential!

Keep writing bro.

~#41

WELCOME TO YWS!!!
I. Love. Poetry. I write it often, and let me say I appreciate a powerful poem that gets its point across in a way like this. Poetry doesn't have to be lengthy, and people forget this.

I absolutely adore the theme of this, and I think the way the title gives only a hint of the poem is great. However, I like original titles that aren't necessarily a repeated word in the piece. It's totally up to you.

I love the imagery and description of examples you give here.
One wording nitpick:

"Locked is the gate of my soul.

It is secured with a heavy padlock."

I feel like this is repetitive and, the way it's worded now, a bit unnecessary. You use two form s of 'lock' very close together and repeated words like this are like my biggest pet peeve.
So I suggest editing that.

Some people might say the italics here are unnecessary, especially when used throughout the entire poem. Italics are meant to signal an important stanza/line or symbolize a thought, feeling, expression in one's mind. Again, it's up to you, but you may want to revise your use of them.

Overall fantastic poem, especially for your first here! I look forward to reading LOTS more from a fellow poet!!
So glad you're here with us-- let me know if you have any questions!

Persevere. Writing is hell.
~iron.n