I entered this for a poetry contest and wanted some feedback.
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Canary word: Present
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I like it, but its a bit confusing. Maybe thats what you were going for, if so bravo!
I really liked it! Amazing! It was simple, and very calm, almost! Keep up the good work.
Heya, here to review!
Overall, I think the message behind this poem was sort of clear, but at the same time left me something to think about. I liked your use of subtle imagery, you didn't use tons of adjectives to describe things yet you picked some really good words to help me picture everything. Now, the subject of this poem isn't that original, however you have put your own twist on things to make it your own. Let me go into more detail now...
Firstly, I really liked the layout because it stays the same, and keeps quite good rhythm throughout. I actually still felt that it was quite hard to keep in rhythm because at some points the syllables aren't the same so it kind of drags on, and becomes one of those poems with forced rhyme. What I also didn't understand was why it rhymed at the beginning then lost the whole rhyming structure? Not to say that it's a bad thing, I've just never seen a poem like this. Also, I liked the full stops after each line.
The techniques used in this poem, there weren't many but I still iked it. Like I said before, the imagery is really great, and it's quite short, which is good because I think if you'd have made it any longer the whole structure would start getting tedious. Again, I loved your choice of words, and there's not much more to say about that.
Finally, the emotion. I did feel some, but not a lot, I felt you didn't take that long to write this. I still did feel some though, with poems it's quite hard to judge emotion.
Anyways, hope this helped! I'm really bad at poetry reviews, but I tried my best.
~Tamara x