Gecko, gecko on the log
I wonder what you’re thinking of?
Up so high in the sky,
It almost seems like you can fly!
You are such a sleepy boy,
You really do look like a toy.
You can truly jump so far
I think you are very bizarre.
You love playing in the sun,
You have a very cute run.
You climb up the wall to get a snack
You crouch and then attack!
I love you from the bottom of my heart
I promise we will never be apart!
You are my tiny scaly friend
And I’ll defend you till the end!
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
HELLO OLIVIA WELCOME TO YWS
first of let me say thank you for sharing this work with us. if ever there was a wholesome and warm-hearted poem in the midst of all of the other works here, this would be it. from my takeaway, your goal was to show us your love and admiration (whether this is from your perspective or not, i'm not sure)for your gecko friend, and i think that's adorable.
the rhyme scheme you give us is very simple, and very well done. i can find myself easily moving between the lines and enjoying the subtle pattern you have going on between everything. the descriptions you give us about your gecko friend are also cute, even when you talk about them attacking LOL.
as far as the message goes, this is something you read to feel good about. there is clear point you are trying to get across and a very obvious connection between the narrator and their subject. believe me when i say that connection is presented well. as this poem is so light-hearted, i can not find any ways for you to improve it through critiquing it. all i can say is that you've done a good job and it made me feel good reading it, and sometimes, that is all someone need.
thank you again for sharing your work and i hope to read more from you in the future! see you around!
Hi Olivia,
you have written a lovely poem, I like the easy-going and optimistic way. It makes it fun to read and you can just smile when you finish reading it.
The rhymes are great yet simple. They are easy to understand and remind me of one of those nursery rhymes I used to sing along to at school. The subject is also well-chosen as you write about your pet gecko.
Perhaps it is this simplicity that gives the poem a certain loveliness! It doesn't have to be extravagant and complex sometimes.
Mailice.
Hey Olivia! I'm Yoshi and I'm here for your review! Welcome to YWS!
First off, this poem has a good theme-- your gecko. Your word choice is very simple, if not repetitive.
Your rhyming is very good, but very repetitive, like said before. Since your word choice is simple, you need to find a way to connect the lines in a unique way. However, I did not see anything out of the ordinary with the word choice in this poem.
This poem was cute, I'll give you that. "You crouch and then attack!" was probably the cutest line. The way you described it sort of gave the gecko a bit of a narrative. Good job!
Anyways, let's get started.
Great start! Your simplicity here is fine. So far, there is no issue with the word choice or the rhyming.
This is the part that is a bit confusing. Why is the gecko "up so high in the sky"? Since you say that "It almost seems like [The Gecko] can fly", it means that the gecko isn't a flying gecko. If so, how is the gecko in the sky? If this is supposed to be a joke, you need to elaborate. If it is something else entirely, then you need to let the reader know.
By now, it doesn't seem like you are even trying to find the correct words-- you're just finding the closest rhymes from the top of your head. How is a gecko a "sleepy boy"? If the gecko is "such a sleepy boy", then why does the gecko "look like a toy"? Let me give you some advice-- in fact, this is some advice I recieved from some great reviewers.
Don't try to get the perfect rhyme.
If you get the perfect rhyme, everything may not make sense. If you can't find sufficient rhymes to say what you mean, then don't rhyme. It's that simple. Besides, you can use close rhymes instead of exact rhymes anyways.
I don't see the need for "truly" here. Instead you could have used a more adequate word for this situation. This brings me back to my point. It seems like all you are doing is trying to find rhymes for your poem and not actually making a real plot. Rhyming is not the focal point of a poem. Poems are often rhyming, but not always. The actual point of a poem is to describe something to the reader. Rhyming and Rhythm is mostly to keep the reader interested. I'm not saying that rhyming and rhythm are horrible and we shouldn't use them, but it should be used in moderation. Here, it seems like the only shining point of your poem is the cuteness and the rhyming. I personally think that you could have done better, but it's still a great poem!
I apologize if this review was a bit harsh. You really wrote a great poem. For one of your first poems here, I think you did great, but have room to improve.
Anyways, I hope you were satisfied with this review!
Cheers and Eggs!
-yoshi
Do you actually have a pet gecko?
Also this poem was really cute
Yes, I do have a baby crested gecko called Bean. He/she is only 4 months. Thank you for your comments
OMG!!! U HAV A GECKO!!! THAT IS ADORABLE!!!
Aww. I love the way you kind of wrote a little bit from the gecko’s POV with how big you made everything sound. The gecko is in an enclosure right? Anyways, overall a really cute poem. It is very much from the heart and also kind of shows our loneliness in quarantine. The only things I can see to change are a couple lines where it felt like there were too many syllables. For example, “I think you are very bizarre.” Seems to have one too many syllables. Nice poem and welcome too YWS.
Hello! First of all, welcome to YWS! I hope you have a great time here. I am Hannah. I haven't wrote a review in a long time, so it might be a little shaky but I will try.
Grows:
This was a great poem, and you did really good on the writing but the second line that was supposed to rhyme with the first didn't really, and the rhythm was a bit off.
Glows:
This was a really cute poem! Great for the first one, especially since you just joined Young Writers Society! I really loved this specific line,
"You love playing in the sun,
You have a very cute run."
Your gecko sounds so fun! Also, I feel like this poem very well conveys what it is like to have a pet that is so important to you. That especially showed in the last lines,
"I love you from the bottom of my heart
I promise we will never be apart!
You are my tiny scaly friend
And I’ll defend you till the end!"
Also, your rhyming was really clever! Great job for your first one. I hope you keep writing, have a great day, and that you have a great Valentines day!
Hannah