You were born nothing - you will die nothing - you were only ever meant to amount to nothing.
But you are a vile creature, and throughout every breath you swallow, every
lungful that you steal from the world, you take everything that you can, you
live through your existence as both a thief and a hungry dog- ready to chew
life to the bone, to steal every experience that you could ever live.
You were meant to be nothing. But you are a vile creature- and in your blood
flows a thirst for every single thing that grew and breathed. You are a vile
creature- and your claws and fangs and gaze will pierce and tear through the
fruit of life, as you eat it raw, as the delightful juice of existence leaks
onto your lips and chin and hands- everything the light touches is to be yours,
everything that time shapes shall be yours to live through.
You were meant to be nothing, but you are a vile creature, and throughout your
whole life you have walked through every experience hungry for more. You have
wanted mountains and valleys of glorious knowledge and feelings, you have
wanted the taste and the touch of every fruit, every leaf, every tree- you have
wanted to suckle dry the marrow out of every bone of anyone you have ever
known, to bleed them out of any little hint of experience they have ever had.
You have wanted and wanted and wanted-
and wanting is an old magic- powerful one, i'll have you know.
You have willed the Universe to bend to your wish- you will never be nothing.
Your every breath, every blink, every move- all of you is anything and
everything.
You breathe and blink and move- and throughout your every instant you want, you
want, you want-
You want to live.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
First for me it reads and sounds like my stages in my life,of growing up and battling depression. It starts with this fall. Nothingness And Borrowed Time Comes To Mind on the second stanza. Then Meant To Be Nothing And Supposed To Be Ring (Serentonious-not a real word made up for expression🤷🏻♂️) After With Need Driven By Desire. To Experience, with touch with taste , with feel and how so we are determined to that.
Then The Depth Of The Human Experience on stanza 4 Of Need Driven By Desire. To Want Everything The World Have To Offer. Meant To Be Nothing But Supposed To Be Something Which is vile I think its a contradictory state because you are Meant to be Nothing but you are something vile that's Driven to want And want more to strive for in the hearts of life's Experience
Wanting.I Love The Description of it as magic , an old magic at that. Masterful, for many reasons
But the main one being that with it, Want. With Want We Have "Willed The Universe To Bend To Our Will". That if we can stamp our existence in the universe 'with our breath and every movement, we wouldn't be just Nothing no longer but all of us is anything to everything..
Throughout That In every instance of The Breath In the Blink and The Movement. Alive Means Want. The Need Driven By Desire. To Live.
PEACE ✌️ ☮️
🎭
YESSSSSS ITS ABOUT WANTING AND THAT LEADING TO GET YOU OUT OF DEPRESSION. ABOUT LEAVING AND GETTING OUT. ABOUT FREEING YOURSELF CUS YOU *WANT* FREEDOM. thank you so much !!!
goodness. this is beautiful! this is a great read i enjoyed.. hoping more people will read this lovely work!
Omg thank you so much for such a nice comment! I'm really glad you appreciated this
This is an interesting story, or commentary I suppose.
I agree that there is indeed a universal lack. A need for something more. Desires that only grow larger the more you feed them.
However, I also believe that there is a way to fill that unknowable lack. If we began and dust and return to dust than at some point a creator took that dust and chose to make you.
Civilization has made countless gods who fill that roll. But I personally believe in Jesus. I won't talk further than this unless you ask, but I wanted to respond to what I felt was the core of this story.
As for the critiques on the story itself, I would say you used great descriptors and I found no big issues. One thing though,
"i'll" here should have a capital I.
I love philosophical debates and stuff like that so if you want to chat more on this kind of stuff let me know
Have a great day!
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.
Hello! I like the thoughts you get,, this is more of a writing about personal feelings (i used to be quite nihilistic, wanting to have every experience life could offer got me to enjoy existence a little more) but I do fully the view where this gets much more philosophical! Thank you for the review!!!
Ooh I like this. Love a poem that describes the universal human condition in such unflinching terms. Love a good bit of free verse that isn’t afraid to expound at length.
Or perhaps it isn’t the universal human condition? Our protagonist certainly seems capable of a bit more than humanity has been. We will certainly be nothing someday, etc. Or perhaps it is that, but with a more romantic view near the end to cushion the impact of the descriptions earlier.
Lots of hyphens working as em-dashes here; I think a semicolon might do well somewhere in here. It’s dense for poetry already and a semicolon feels like a cheeky but appropriate move. As far as I could see every hyphen you use except the parenthetical two in the first line (because they’re parenthetical) could be replaced with a semicolon. Not that you should replace every hyphen with a semicolon, but maybe one or two.
Either way, this poem evoked emotions within me, as all poetry should.
Thank you so much for your review!
Thank you very much for reading 
I do try to write a little freely these days! I do not know much of typical writing conventions for the english language, I only know french literature. The grammar is quite different ! Thank you for your advice on semi-colons, I'll try to use that for the future.
I'm glad this moved you