z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Dance

by Octoberbrooks2004


Narrator: Before moving to Paris there was a girl named Marinette which is a sweet, kind, and beautiful girl that loves music and fashion. But she is moving from China to Paris so she is going to be a new girl at school and the reason why she is moving is that someone very special to her got killed in a car crash when she was only 3 years old. But tomorrow is going to be a brand new day because she is going to school and she can’t wait. (If you don’t know who died keep reading)

Image result for little marinette miraculous ladybug

Next Day

Alya: “Hey guys have you heard about the new girl that is coming to our school today?”

Image result for alya miraculous ladybug

Nino: “Yo, no way I didn’t know that at all, it wasn’t on my phone.”(Looks at his phone to find it)

Image result for nino miraculous ladybug looking at phone

Adrien: “Wow I didn’t know either but if she has an amazing personality, a great life, and just not rude and wanting money, I am breaking up with Chloe for good. The reason why is…”

1. She is so annoying

2. She texts me way too much

3. She is getting on my nerves every day and every night.

Image result for adrien miraculous ladybug

Alya: “Adrien, that would be amazing! But haven’t you noticed the stuff she does to us when you are not around? Here take a look at this.¨(Shows Adrien her phone of what Chloe has done to them when they have dated.)

Image result for alya suprised miraculous ladybug

Adrien: (He looks at her phone then looks up and sees Marinette and said) “Guys, look she’s here!” (Points at Marinette with her cute smile)Image result for adrien smiling at marinette miraculous ladybug

Narrator: When everyone heard Adrien, they all looked at the door to see her looking around at everyone and smiling at everyone when she sees new people and thinking how awesome everyone looks in their awesome outfits as she said to herself in her head, girls were whispering nice things like, “OMG I wish I was her, with a smile like that, and the amazing outfit because look at the guys and how they are falling in love and blushing at her.” The guys were falling in love, blushing, and whispering to each other saying, “I wish she was my girl forever and I knew what her name was.”

Image result for everyone staring at marinette

Marinette: (Looks down at paper in her hand and reads first period, looks around, and starts walking toward Alya because she loved her fashion and style.) “Hi I’m Marinette and I love your outfit, oh and do you know where this classroom is?” (Gives Alya the paper)

Image result for marinette waving at alya miraculous ladybug

Alya: “Hi I’m Alya, it’s nice to meet such a nice kind-hearted girl and thank you for the compliment, oh and yes I’m in this class, so do these two Adrien and Nino.” (Points at Adrien and Nino as they waved at her and smiling too)

Image result for alya miraculous

Nino: “Yo, nice to meet you Marinette, I’m Nino and just like my girlfriend said.”(Pointing at Alya who is blushing as he said that) “You are a kind-hearted, beautiful young lady.” (Blushes with a smile and looks at Adrien)

Nino Sticker - Dibujos De Ladybug Nino

Adrien: “Hi I’m Adrien Agreste, famous model, and it’s nice to meet you Marinette, and you are what Nino and Alya said but I hope I get to know you more and see what we both have in common.” (Blushes)

Image result for adrien blushing miraculous ladybug

Marinette: “You all are the kindest people I have ever met. Thank you and nice to meet you three and can I walk with you all to the first period?” (Smiles sweetly)

Image result for miraculous ladybug marinette blushing

Adrien: (Gets a message from Chloe saying: Adrikins why are you by that new girl, come here, and leave them alone?!?!) “Let me take care of this please I’ll be right back I promise and then we will answer your question.” (Points at phone and walks over to Chloe)

Image result for miraculous ladybug marinette blushing


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Points: 38
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Fri Sep 18, 2020 4:45 pm



Yes, I changed it hope you all like it??




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Points: 38
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Mon Apr 20, 2020 9:23 pm
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Well I do have a problem one is I need a writing partner and two I have no money for the next one>




fatherfig says...


i could write with you if you want





I would appreciate it



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121 Reviews


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Thu Apr 16, 2020 3:49 pm
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manilla wrote a review...



Hi! Manilla here for a review. Let's get right into it, shall we?

This sounds like a movie trailer to me, not a typical prose story. So therefore, I'll review it a little bit differently. Right off the bat we're introduced to Elizabeth Bower, a seemingly perfect girl with a cool new life. She sounds like such a friendly person, and this contrasts with the bad girl Rose Baker.

Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the magical, enchanted blade.


I feel like we're going to need a little more context here. What was her motive for finding the blade, and how will this blade help them? Even though this is a short piece I want to know more about the characters because not much is given about them that makes them stand out.

When bodies start turning up all over France, Elizabeth begins looking for Rose.


How do they know each other? How is this all connected? As a reader, I have a few questions, especially with the ending. If you extended this, I feel like this would be an interesting YA fantasy premise, but otherwise there's just a few holes to weave together.

Nice start! Hopefully I'll see more of you work around.
-Manilla out






I might not have the money for it



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Tue Apr 14, 2020 12:50 am
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JesseWrites wrote a review...



So I am guessing that this is LGBT friendly, which is unique for this type of story. Imagine a scarily awesome female vampire. Rose has great potential that is hard to see in this short introduction. Although, isn't Taylor a human and american name?

They never met, yet Elizabeth already has a weapon to stop her. We only got descriptions, but they were lacking some detail. "Smart" is a common word, so maybe use something like "clever" or "sharp -witted." The same stands for everyone else to waver from normality.

This is fantasy, so a backstory surrounding the world or species would benefit greatly. The humans hate vampires, but there is no context to that. Vampires and pixies are quite contrasting and I'd like to see more of this.

~S.M.Locke~






Yes this is a LGBT friendly and thank you very much for reading also I use Grammarly to type my stories




okay I think I need to grab some nachos
— BluesClues