Young Writers Society

Hey!
I really like this poem, and like others have mentioned below, the simplicity of the poem is what makes it really beautiful. It is true that there is beauty in simplicity
I only have one thing to say, and it's just a personal suggestion. In the lines "But with everything in life that's nice/ Nice can't last for long" I don't prefer the repetition of the word "nice." Of course, that is up to you, and if you like it, keep it! I just decided it was worth mentioning, because to mw, the repetition disrupted the continuous flow of the poem since the two lines don't connect.
It was a really pretty and cute poem, and I enjoyed reading it! The reader really gets the idea that every good thing comes to an end. Thanks for sharing <3

Hello!

I would like to say that I agree with the user below in the sense that I loved the simplicity of the poem. It was very simple, very cute but very impact.

I think the length of the poem also really helped deliver the message, in the sense that it shows that poems do not have to be long and drawn out to have an impact with the reader.

While I was reading, I wasn't really expecting much out of it but I was presently surprised when I got about halfway down. (I'm a sucker for poems like this.) And I must say that it certainly made me think. And I simply adored the somewhat morbid meaning hidden behind cutesy words.

I loved the poem! Keep up the great work and keep writing from the heart.

Hello!
I actually really like this poem. It's simple, but there's something really vital captured in that simplicity. You have an idea here and you chased it and caught it (much like a butterfly, perhaps).

This poem is very good for what it is: a simple poem. But I'm worried that if you try to start branching out into more complex poems, some of the things that make this poem work well might trip you up.

The rhymes in the poem are very expected. That's ok for this poem, I think. But most of the time, you want to avoid cliches and forced rhymes. If your rhymes are expected, they take away the surprise and wonder of the audience. For example, I already knew that you were going to rhyme "flying" with "dying" so the line that should've been shocking didn't have very much of an impact on me. I hope this makes sense.

Also: really quick, you use the wrong form of "its" here: "will sing it's last song"
That should read "its last song"

While I'm talking about that line, I've gotta say that, though I really liked this poem, I think that line was probably my least favorite. It broke with the image of the butterfly as a real butterfly. Butterflies don't sing, and if you wanted to write a poem about a world where they did, that should probably have been established earlier in the poem. But I don't think you need that for this poem. I think this is a case of where you're using forced rhymes. You had to come up with something to rhyme with "long" so you went with this, which didn't quite work very well in my opinion.

This was a really good poem though, and I think you should definitely keep writing! There's so much to learn about poetry, and I'm so excited for you on your poetic journey. My biggest piece of advice that I ever give any young poet is to keep reading poetry! Especially published poetry. Find poems you like and feast on them. Memorize your favorites maybe. Analyze why you like them and try to imitate that (poets do that all the time). Read from diverse poets you've never heard of, read from poets you've always heard about but never felt like reading, read old poets, new poets, every kind of poem under the sun. It's all out there, waiting for you to learn <3

Hope this helps! Keep writing!
~fortis

Hi! This is a beautiful poem with a very deep message. Although, it is short, but at the same time, very impactful.
My favorite lines from your work are:
" Because with every butterfly dies
A new one is born"
Although butterfly lives a short life but adding meaning to it is more important.
And, I am nature-lover so this was like a treat for me. It is indeed an excellent work.Thank you for sharing this. All the best for your future works.
Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya

I really love the rhyming scheme in this poem! It's really pretty and it sounds very nice to read. I also love how happy yet sad you make the poem out to be as it describes the butterfly and how it enjoys its short but happy life. I really like how despite how simple the poem is it still tells the lesson on how to enjoy life and even if the ending is sad, there will always be a new life. Its the cycle of life, a happy and tragic one at the same time and that's honestly beautiful.