Ache

I agree with silvermoon17 I don't get where it falls under 18 + and this poem doesn't need someone who has fallen in love to understand like me I am still young for love plus love is stupid . hey I am not saying this poem is bad its really good and I understand from your point of view why you wrote this poem . look inspirations can come from many places and as a writer you cant avoid your instant of think about a poem or story . you are talented keep on writing please don't take this review in a bad way I don't mean any harm

*just to say, in what ways this work should this work be rated 16+? I don’t remember seeing anything shockingly violent or any mature content? If you mean broken hearts is something people below sixteen should bot be aware of- shame on you. People who only read and watch stuff about how the world is happy and beautiful and loving etc, turn out as boring people. Just felt the need to say that. Because I’m definitely below 16*
Anyways, for the review.
So. You have this little flow which grows in size at each line. It’s not so fast that it ruins the flow, but it’s still there. And because of that; we have this tension, this suspense of how you will end. Growing a flow at each line helps keep the audience waiting, but watch out with how you end. Because it sometimes it come out as lame or boring, and the piece of work becomes forgettable. I’m not sure you used any imagery, and as I check.. no, you did not. I mean, the “ghost of their yesterdays” might count, but that’s a universal kind of quote. So no. But seen the length of your poem, that’s explainable. You start nicely. With a sort of question that lengthens into the next line, and the next- and because you never really direct your question, we are left thinking that last sentence will fill the gaps. I’m serious. You begin with “let’s recognize the different people”
But instead of describing these people, you add a feature of them. “Broken hearts from grief and etc”
I don’t see how the third line is linked to any of the two things you’ve said. Because you talk of a relation ship. But I though you were talking of recognizing people. Maybe you should’ve said:
“Their relationshipS That were once healthy and strong;”
Instead of
“The relation ship.”
Because it makes more sense.
You really have two questions in that poem.
The different people and the ruined relationships. And so that only boosts our expectations. Because after all that taunting, we expect to see that last line unfold everything and link both.
Except..
That last line has stretched the flow until the poem becomes a paragraph and there’s no more rhythm.
And after the exposition of your first lines, about people and love; we get once more; some exposition.
“Read and feel the pain that became memories.”
That should’ve been as first liner. Because your poem just exposes problems. You never give an opinion or a solution or an explanation of how things end. You never develop any of your questions. But if you had prolonged your poem, say; with two more lines. That could’ve made a whole lot of a difference.
Otherwise, good ideas behind all that.

This is a nice poem.