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Young Writers Society



The First Tale of Lightning and Wind.

by NinjaofWords


This is a story passed down in my family through generations. I remember it being told to me when I was at the young old age of just 7. I hope that you reading this fine tale now will enjoy it and find that it was as eye opening to you as it was to me when making the decisions we make everyday in life.

This tale starts in a dusty old Village known as ‘SutōmuOdayakana’, meaning ‘Calming Storm’. The head of the ‘Raitokaze’ clan, meaning ‘Lightning Wind’, Kyōryokuna, was growing old and sensed that his death was more and more apparent. Having accepted this as a fact he was not bitter to his near coming end, however the much feared and regretted day came where he had to bring his two sons, Tsuyoi-Rīdā, meaning ‘strong leader’, and Shisōka, meaning ‘great thinker’, and explain to them that he would be leaving soon and it was time for one of them to take over. Of cores this was a distressing time for Kyōryokuna because every man, am sure if you are a farther reading this you will understand, worries and fears this day along with only a few other certain days, such as the day his son becomes to old to threaten and the day his son brings a pregnant girl home. Kyōryokuna decided it best to tell his two children straight, I feel I should tell you that the oldest, Tsuyoi-Rīdā, was only the age of eleven and Shisōka was seven, which is probably why I related to him most, The farther explained to his two sons that this clan follows only two paths.

The reference to ‘paths’ was in fact a metaphor and he was referring to the way that the people of the clan thought and what they based there morals and values on. You see, the Raitokaze clan was in the middle of a civil war and was spilt between two, Wind and Lightning, it is still pondered why the two disagree so much for certainty but a rumour was spread to me that the two found it two difficult to understand each other and struggled to see eye to eye, this was due to there previous fuses that where settled by only War until the two clans decided to come together.

What I tell you next, is the exact words that left the old, wise, leader that night. He turned to his sons together, knelt by his bed, he said to them. “Now, My sons” in his grim tone as Tsuyoi opened his eyes, “I will share a story with you, that my farther told me around your age” he finished with a windy cough.

The wise man was no fool, he was told this story at the age of 16 but he knew his children where always a lot quicker than himself at there age, for example, they would fight like any natural siblings but rather than simply hit each other, mainly because Shisōka knew he was out matched from the beginning when his brother hurt him once because he disturbed a precious monument of there mother, they chose to battle out of wit.

Before I tell you the tale of Wind and Lightning I would like to express this moment if time to tell you a little about the two boys. Tsuyoi-Rīdā was a dark haired boy, always of good build and a very good eater, despite his manors and his secret skill at the game known as ‘soccer’ he was actuly like no other ‘normal’ kid as they called them, his home life was like this, He awoke on the morning and left for school, he would do his lessen then go to his Kung-fu classes, he was a 3rd dan black belt at the age of ten, and then, if he didn’t have plans with class mates, he would come home and practice his plans and strategies that he had been working on for the clans military division, Tsuyoi had the dream of becoming a strategist lieutenant and had followed that dream since the age of 3 right up until the day he died. He was strong in build, people muttered that he was strongest of his generation and from here on there would be no one like the famous ‘Raiton Rīdā’. This mean that Shisōka always grew up in Tsuyoi’s shadow, not that it seemed to bother him much. Shisōka was more of the other end of the spectrum, he was quite, not much of a fighter, and constantly reading books, he played a lot of shoji and enjoyed puzzled a lot. The main outline of differences being the way they think, Tsuyoi, despite being an excellent strategist, always resulted in violence as a cure for every problem, Shisōka on the other hand, would result in talking and attempting to understand, both of these methods come with there own advantages and draw backs and its clear to me now that there is a time and place for either and both. Shisōka summed up this major difference without even realizing in a simple phrase he said, “The most staggering past of Tsuyoi’s personality was how he could kill people constantly without a moment of thought for there family, friends and loved ones” this was a reference made after the death of there farther and a in sight of the future that was held out for Tsuyoi-Rīdā.

Now for the moment I unfairly kept you waiting for, the tale of Wind and Lightning.

As you know, the farther was on his death bed when he spoke these words to his children, its came apparent to me that when on your deathbed your most true and strongest words come out.

“As you two have probably realized more than anyone in this world, Lightning is a beautiful and Powerful, It strikes quick and kills even faster. Once set of on a path it doesn’t change, it is very focused on what it desires and doesn’t stop until it arrives there. Many fear the lightning and no one in this world can deny it its breath taking awesomeness, Tsuyoi-Rīdā, you have always reminded me of the lightning path. The wind however” He called out slowly turning his head towards Shisōka, “Is very, very different, The winds way is like this, It blows freely all around the world, gathering knowledge and seeing many amazing sights, it can get very rough and strong when it needs to, and often will if it feels passionate enough about a matter, Shisōka, You have always reminded me of what the wind way means.” The two boys where shocked by this outcome of words, they knew immediately what it meant, “But farther” Shisōka spoke out, Tsuyoi was in too much shock to speak, “What if we are not ready yet?” he continued, to which the farther replied to with a simple smile then followed with this, “My son, my sons, you are more ready than you will ever know, now leave my bed side and go change the world with your over whelming power, and your unmatchable smarts”.

These where the last words of a wise old man, this is only one interpretation of a well known story, and I am sure, as I took a wind way of looking, the Lightning’s story is a very different out look, however the paths are always the same.

The question I offer to you know reading this tale is this, What path fits you better, are you a Person of Lightning, high in desire and dedicated to everything they commit yourself to, or are you more alike to take the path of wind, Just go with the flow and see what comes to you, always ready and thinking in every situation, not afraid to embrace your personal beliefs. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, and of cores there is not only Wind and Lightning…but they are other tales to be told.


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151 Reviews


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Sun May 01, 2011 12:44 pm
Amfliflier wrote a review...



Hi there!

I liked this, but I found the names very confusing! ;) Anyways, I thought this was a cool story. I liked the description of what the boys were like, although I was a little disappointed with the actual storytelling piece. It seemed like a majority of this was like an introduction, and the story was very short, not very sweet, and very to the point. ;)

The title was what drew me in though. I know you said this story has been passed down for awhile, but you might want to toy around with this a little bit. Maybe just add a little to the story, and make it your own if you know what I mean.

So overall, I liked it, but you might want more of the actual story part. Nice job though! :)




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Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:16 pm
freewritersavvy wrote a review...



First of all, I would like to say welcome!

I noticed a few things about your story.

One, it is very original. Good job.

Two, the names....

‘SutōmuOdayakana'

You might consider putting a pronunciation guide at the beginning/end. Also your story would read better if you put the meanings separate from the main story. Just a thought...
Example: SutōmuOdayakana (pronunciation) ~ Calming storm, Raitokaze -(pronunciation) ~ Lighting wind, etc.

Third, it is bit hard to read in the format you have it in.

Nit picky things:
This tale starts in a dusty old Village known as ‘SutōmuOdayakana’, meaning ‘Calming Storm’.
#FF0000 ">(This sentence could be a bit more grabbing. Something like; It all started in SutōmuOdayakana, A village whose name means ‘Calming Storm’. You can leave the ‘dusty’ and ‘old’ out, they are unnecessary. )

Of cores #FF0000 ">(course) this was a distressing time for Kyōryokuna because every man, am sure if you are a farther #FF0000 ">(father) reading this you will understand, worries and fears this day along with only a few other certain days, such as the day his son becomes to old to threaten and the day his son brings a pregnant girl home.
Corrections are in red.

You see, the Raitokaze clan was in the middle of a civil war and was spilt between two, Wind and Lightning, it is still pondered why the two disagree so much for certainty but a rumour #FF0000 ">(rumor) was spread to me that the two found it two difficult to understand each other and struggled to see eye to eye, this was due to there previous fuses that where settled by only War until the two clans decided to come together.


A bit of advice, you might consider shorting your sentences.

What I tell you next, is the exact words that left the old, wise, leader that night.

Keep in mind you are writing the story not speaking it.

There is more I could critique, but I will leave it at that for now. PM me if you would like my full review. I can tell it is a deep story with allot of meaning for you.

Keep writing!

~FW~





First you broke my moustache, now you break my heart.
— MaybeAndrew