Published May 17, 2011
I wish I could fly.
I hope that it works.
I stand on the hill.
Spread my wings.
Prepare for take off .
Stop.
Fear tears at my stomach,
like a beast.
My wings droop.
I back down.
Defeated.
I walk away.
Stop
Spin.
Run.
Jump.
FLY
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140,135 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
yes it is
This is by me she posted it because my computer crashed .
As weird as it sounds, I like this style. It's more direct and less formal, which is really interesting to read. I don't agree with gowtham, it IS a poem. It just needs a little work. The first line: I wish I could fly, that line kinda contradicts the rest of the poem. I want to fly would be better, but I would just scrap the first line all together. I also reccommend working on the fear. Expand on it. Add more description as you want to and then back down. Describe the desire to fly first, then describe the fear, then go into the ending. I like the ending a lot. It was much better than the beginning.
Overall: It's interesting and cool, but needs a little work.
Hope I helped.
it is not like a poem at all. it is like a story.it is my opinion.sorry.