Published June 23, 2011
Save my soul
O, You charmed boy
Tell me what you see,
When you look though me,
Tell me the truth, dont lie about it
Cause you're the only one to inspire me to fly and break free.
N/A: I know it does not rhymes but i wasn't really trying to make it rhyme.
~ NiiNii 
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,121 Literary Works • 673,020 Reviews
like the others have said, you have some slight grammer errors, but other than that this poem was amazing! i loved it!
Hello!
There's some grammatical errors here that stands out quite a bit for me.
I definitely think that this poem could be extended it seemed a bit short to me. For one, there's none emotion in it and there's very little description. I would recommend adding those two elements in as I think they would improve the poem. The poem also flowed really well.
Other than that, I don't think there's much for me to comment on as the poem itself was quite short. Keep writing!
Short and simple, maybe could use a little more description and detail to convey the tellers emotions more, but nicely done for the length of it. The only grammar error I found was...
[quote] When you look threw me,[/quote}
I think 'threw' should be 'through'.
I think this need a little more originality, something to set it apart as a unique piece of poetry but a nice start. It's style is easy-to-follow and the format seems to be consistent enough. Good job!
<..> Kat