Snapshots

N

2014 Shorts

It was peaceful here, he thought, leaning over the cool metal rails. Overlooking the whole city, just a collection of tiny lights below. No one ever came up there; it was just his, the top floor of a scarcely used carpark, that was. And although it smelled of petrol and smog, he didn't mind. He didn't mind much those days.

The breeze stirred his dark hair, and he closed his eyes. He had this, for now at least. And it was peaceful.

~~~

So she just got into the car, and slammed her door closed. Starting the ignition, she let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding. As the distance between her and that wretched place grew, so did her feeling of relief. It would be okay. She rolled down the window, and turned on the radio; listening, yet not listening at the same time.

Keeping her blue eyes, now burning with unshed tears, trained on the road, she just kept breathing. It would be okay.

~~~

They sat together on the top of the little hill, the afternoon sun warming them. She smiled up at him as if he were the sun, and he once again thanked God for giving her to him. He still wasn't used to her loving him; he doubted he would ever get used to it. They just spent their days sitting there, soaking up the beautiful sunshine and taking in their breathtaking surroundings; the poorly father and the lovely young girl.

And if they spent the whole summer doing just that, it would be enough for him. Even if this one summer was all they got, it could last him forever. The memory of her would last him to his final day, and he hoped she would remember this summer, even when she grew up, and he was gone.

~~~

Monday's sucked. Truly. If there was only one day she could eradicate completely, it would be Monday. Monday's symbolised going back to school, probably having a French test (which she would, undoubtably, fail), and having to face Them. Every school has a them though, she thought, so no point complaining about it. Might as well get up and face the day.

Besides, this Monday would be different; this time, he would be there. Suddenly, Monday wasn't looking so bad.

~~~

To be honest, he wasn't surprised; he knew she would be gone. She had told him as much, warned him even. But he couldn't help but hope, as he always did, that this time, she would still be there. He would catch up with her and stay with her each time, but only for one day. And then she would be gone again. It was like a never ending game of hide and seek. But I'm not playing, she told him. As if that would stop him. He would find her again. And she would leave him again. But they would always have that one day.

~~~

He was pretty sure that the universe was conspiring against him. That was the only reason that he could think of to explain the distinct lack of front door that he faced (or rather, didn't face) when he got home that afternoon. Seriously, where does one's door go when one is at a lecture? It hardly became unhinged and decided to go for a walk in the park! Besides, the nearest park was an hours walk away. No, some one did this. And it could only have been one person... Her.

~~~

She had reached the top of the steep overhang, and now she could see for miles. See the whole world, or so it felt. Peering down over the edge, she gazed upon the beautiful and deadly waves below, crashing and wearing away at the cliff face beneath her. Beautiful and deadly, just like her.

After spending her whole life manipulating everyone around her to get what she wanted, she had realised in a moment of clarity, that she had no one. Yes; she had everything and nothing, the story was a well known one, but she was tired of it. "Every story," she thought, "needs to end sometime". And the waves continued to crash below

~~~

She could feel a grin spreading across her face, and her eyes sparkled with laughter as she raced through the overgrown field. As the rain had finally stopped, she was noticing how the sun lit up the old farmyard, and the joyous yellow daffodils seemed to dance in the warm breeze. She could hear him catching up to her; she was never quite fast enough to outrun him to the barn. Suddenly he was right beside her, his eyes gleaming with the same mischief as his huge grin. She found herself being tackled to the ground, the pair of them rolling about in the freshly cut grass. He looked down at her breathlessly, before rolling off her. As he lay down beside her, she sprang to her feet and made a break for the ageing red barn.

He still beat her there.

~~~

She ran; ran from that place, ran from him. She could feel salty tears rolling down her cheeks, and her gasps for breath mixed with choked sobs. The rain and win dragged at her, and large raindrops joined her tears on the pavement below her feet. All too quickly, she could feel it all pressing in around her: the hurt, the betrayal, the darkness.

The beady eyed crows were the only ones to see as she fell to her hands and knees, falling into the blackness of the night.

~~~

If he had ever felt a hatred that strong before, he certainly couldn't remember it. Fiery red fury pulsed through his veins, and clouded his vision with dark splotches. His hands clenched into fists, and he could feel his whole body tense up. Dark, troubled thoughts and malicious threats raced across the forefront of his mind.

He had to close his eyes, burning with rage, and take several deep breaths before his vision returned to normal. It was never this bad; he had always been able to calm himself. But not that time. So he just let it all go, and awaited the satisfying 'crunch' sound of a broken bone.

~~~

He was constantly looking at her: in class as she stared out the windows, in the hallways as she laughed with her friends, stolen glances on the bus home. He noticed how she twirled her hair around her finger while reading, how her smile lit up her whole face, how she jumped off the bus each morning. How she didn't notice him.

And then she did. She watched the boy at the back of the classroom; how his eyes seemed to flit away from her. She saw him in the halls, trying to look nonchalant about the fact that he'd walked into the girls bathroom. She peered at him at the back of the grungy bus, and realised he turned red.

He stepped off the bus. She jumped off after him. When she tapped him on the shoulder, he spun around.

"Hi."

~~~

I am sure now: the time has finally come. Enveloped in the deafening silence of my surroundings, my head aches in a familiar way. I was finding it increasingly difficult to find peace anywhere; I could always feel the silence, the day shadows creeping in around me.

They all tried -I know they did- but none of them could help. They can't see the blackness I see.

I long to be free; free of this painful life. Going on like this, it just seems pointless. Besides, there is nothing here for me anymore. Or anywhere.

I have to find a way out of this labyrinth. No more pretending I am ok. No more waiting.

Just no more.

~~~