It was on a bright summer day that it first came into existence. It was a warm, sunny day, all of the children and adults of the small town were enjoying the day in the sun. There were only three people that were not enjoying the warmth of the day, they were in a black smith shop at the edge of town.
The back section of the shop was illuminated by the fire of the forge in the back right corner of the large shop. The light gray floors and the brick walls that cover the inside of the shop fade to a darker color the closer you get to the forge. Just inside the main entrance to the blacksmith shop there lies a decently sized display area where there are weapons in cases on tables along each wall and positioned across the floor, along with hanging cases on the walls. The weapons on display range from simple daggers, to fancy chain scythes, to uniquely designed spears and everything in between. The front display area is separated from the back work area by a solid, cherry wood counter standing about waist high.
From the front there is a faint sound of laughter coming from the back of the blacksmith shop. Upon investigating the source of the laughter you stumble upon three smiling faces laughter still evident in their eyes. The trio of friends consists of two males and one female.
The first male is leaning against the forge while shaking his head at what his friend had said, still chuckling slightly. He is a tall, lanky fellow with warm golden eyes, pale skin, and light brown hair. The ends of his brown hair reach about half way down his ear and his bangs mostly cover his right eye. His hands are covered in calluses from hard work and he has long thin fingers. He is dressed in a gray sleeveless shirt and dark pants. He may not look like it, but he is a highly skilled blacksmith, and the owner of the shop.
The female is leaning against the wall near the forge her arms crossed. She is a small woman with darkly tanned skin with muscles that ripple when she moves. She has dark moss green eyes and short coal colored hair. She has dark smudges on her cheeks and on her arms. She’s wearing overalls with a gray short sleeved undershirt. She works as a miner in rare ore and minerals.
The last male is slightly taller than the female, but leanly built. He has lightly tanned skin and big hands. He has bright light blue eyes which contrast with his long black hair. His hair reaches the tips of his shoulders which he generally keeps in a braid except for a few pieces which frame his face. He’s holding a white wooded staff about as long as one of his arms like one would a baseball bat. He is wearing a simple black shirt and a loose pair of jeans over that he is wearing a light brown duster. He is a wizard, and it seems like he is the one that told the joke causing the laughter heard earlier.
On the workbench in front of the trio is a sword with a wavy blade which is thin at the hilt and widens out before coming to a point at the tip. The blacksmith waves a hand at the wizard in a shooing motion still smiling.
“Alright, Ignis you had your fun, but it’s time to get back to work. We still need to finish the sword.” The blacksmith says in a light baritone voice pushing off of the forge.
“Ahh, you’re no fun Virtus,” whines Ignis lowering his staff.
Virtus waves his hand dismissively, “Yeah, yeah,” he says looking over the sword. He looks up from the sword to the miner still leaning against the wall, “hey Spera could you get the leather for me?”
She nods though Virtus has gone back to the sword by then. She walks over to one of the many tables strewn about the area and grabs two colored strips of leather. One of the strips is black while the other one is a dark blue. All over the front of the leather strips are tiny specks of genuine gold giving the leather a starry night like appearance.
“You better be careful with how you wrap these, Virtus, I wouldn’t want any of the gold falling off of this … ever,” Spera says in a soft soprano voice handing the leather to Virtus.
“Don’t worry Spera they won’t. I enchanted them myself,” Ignis says, pointing his thumb at himself proudly.
“I know, and that’s what worries me”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean”
“Oh nothing, Ig,” She replies smirking.
“Don’t call me that!” Ignis cries indignantly.
Grinning Spera chants, “Ig, Ig, Ig, Ig, Ig, Ig,.”
Ignis slams the end of his staff into the ground, “I said stop!” There is a feeling that the magical energy around Ignis is starting to get charged. Virtus looks up from the handle of the sword where he has been carefully wrapping the leather strips around it. He glares at them both.
“Spera stop aggravating him, you know what happened last time you pissed him off!?” He snaps toward Spera before turning his gaze to Ignis. “Ignis calm down and get over here. I need you to put that energy to use adding the final touches to the sword.”
Spera looks down ashamed while Ignis takes a deep calming breath before walking over to Virtus. Virtus finishes wrapping the leather around the handle as Ignis comes to stand beside him.
“Alright what do you need me to do?” Ignis asks looking over the sword.
“I need you to add the final enchantment to the sword.”
“The one where it will never age nor fall apart,” Ignis asks to which he receives a nod in affirmative.
Ignis gestures for him to back up some while he puts his staff in a holder positioned around his waist. Virtus goes to lean against the forge again watching as Ignis takes a stick of white chalk from his duster pocket. He glances over at Spera as she tries to tidy up his shop.
He shakes his head chuckling, “She’ll never be able to clean it like she wants it,” he mutters to himself.
Ignis moves the weapon and sets it down on the floor kicking some things away creating a clean area around the weapon. He then draws a circle around it using the white chalk. He draws a five pointed star inside the circle making sure the points touch the edge of the circle before replacing the chalk in his pocket. He walks over to a nearby table covered with various candles. Picking up five he walks back to the circle setting them down on each point of the star before lighting them one by one with a match.
“Why is he doing it like that, Virtus? He can just light them with his magic,” Spera asks Virtus a little confused.
“Because if I use magic, the magic used in the spell for lighting the candles might mix up with the spell I’m about to perform, which may cause everything to go boom.” Ignis explains as he takes five crystals from his pocket.
“Oh …,” she says looking at him surprised that he answered her, “that would be bad, huh?”
“Very,” he replies not looking at her as he places the crystals on the points one for each.
Every stone is different from each other each one representing a different part of magic; Quartz for spirit, Sunstone for fire, Fire Agate for earth, Blue Aventurine for water, and Blue Calcite for air. He stands up straight and turns to look at Virtus and Spera.
“Now I would appreciate it if you stayed completely silent for the next…,” Ignis looks out the window in the front for a second, “six hours please.”
They both nod at his request. He smiles at them before turning back around and sitting on the ground crisscross. Spera sits down in a nearby chair pulling out a book to read quietly, while Virtus grabs a bucket of clay before settling himself on the ground. Ignis closes his eyes tipping his head forward as his hands rest on top of his knees.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Shadowolf here
but I do have a singe question.

A lovely, lovely read that I would love to see you continue. I don't have much to critique since it seems others beat me here too it
"Upon investigating the source of the laughter you stumble" Is this story going to be in second person? It's been a very long time since I have read a story in second person.
I'm simply asking because this is the only time I see any indication that there is another character besides the wizard, blacksmith, and miner. I do hope you continue this and I apologize about not being able to find anything else to give you feedback on. Much luck and many hopes to your story
I'm not exactly sure if it is going to be in second person, considering how I write. I generally write as a piece of story comes to me. I like to think my characters talk to me, so sometimes they talk more than at other times.
You've got almost everything fleshed out so far. Your descriptions are really good! You were able to make me picture the setting and characters pretty well. However, I don't think that just straight up giving the characters' personalities and appearances in their own paragraph is good. I'd try to add those details in a more subtle manner, putting them wherever they can flow nicely with the other text.
You've got a few grammar mistakes, but that can be found and fixed by you when you proofread.
Overall this is a good start, and I'm very interested to read more.
Hope my review helps.
Your review does help a lot. I have one more chapter finished, plus there the edition of another character in it. I hope you continue to enjoy the later chapters.
Nice!
I found this story quite interesting. Your description is AMAZING and I like your writing style. I found a few mistakes though.
Again, this was really great and I hope you continue this.
Just inside the main entrance to the blacksmith shop here lies a (I think 'there' lies would sound better. And you need a comma after 'shop')
From the front there is a faint sound of laughter from the back of the blacksmith shop. (This sentence makes so sense at all. At first you're saying the sound is coming from the front, then you say its coming form the back)
The first male is leaning against the forge while shaking his head at what his friend had said still chuckling slightly. (There should be a comma after 'said')
He is a wizard and it seems like he is the one that told the joke causing the laughter heard earlier. (There should be a comma after 'wizard')
“yeah, yeah,” he says looking over the sword. (You forgot you capitalize the 'y' in 'yeah')
Ignis says pointing his thumb at himself proudly. (There should be a comma after 'says')
“she’ll never be able to clean it like she wants it,” (The 's' in 'she' should be capitalized)
There you go!
Bye for now!
~BookWolf
Thanks for the review!
I will make the changes you pointed out.
Alright I have now fixed all of the grammar mistakes you pointed out. Thanks again for pointing them out to me.