I'm here too.

I'm in the same boat as everyone else, I like the feelings behind the words. They resonate well with the feelings of loneliness and desolation we're all prone to feel at some point in our lives, but It's the grammar I'm not a fan of. I'm by no means a poet (I wish I was) but there's a difference between writer's discretion and using the wrong word. As was pointed out, switching 'wonder' with 'wondering' would go a long ways towards making it better. I don't agree with dropout, i like how you bookended it the way you did. Yeah, it's not grammatically perfect, but I don't think poetry has to be to be enjoyable. I've always thought that writing is comparable to painting.

Writing a big story is like painting a portrait, you want as many details in it as you can to make it vivid. But poetry is more like a minimalist picture. Its less about giving all the tools to someone and more about invoking feelings and thoughts in the viewer without guiding them too much.

Personally, as someone who frequently deals with depression, I like it a lot.
I'll be reading your other stuff, hope I helped

Hello! this is Kman134 here to review your work!

i looked at it and was surprised at how short it was. However, I was more surprised by how powerful the three parts were. the symbolism behind the few fifteen words really struck me, even though not many people would get it.

"I said, "I'm here too."

the existential meaning behind the phrase it what gets to everyone who feels like they are left out. it shows that we have a longing to know if people know we exist, yet we a re still ignored until we speak out.

""Who missed me?" said I."

Like i stated before, we all long to be recognized. We all deserve to be loved and learn who loves us, either from a friend or a lover.

This is a short, yet somewhat compelling work, and i hope to read more.

Brief. Questionable. Thinking. Wondering what all to put on here since I need the points and besides there's no harm in telling a user what I feel/think/see/recognize/dislike/like/cherish/get after reading. Anyways....

I understand how some relationships and/or friendships end up to the point where you don't exist to them, you give them everything and in turn they walk out. Sadly, I know the feeling. Mainly for friendships.
What I don't like is that submitting a work costs 200 hundred points. Your fourteen words show me you must be in a state of wondering and maybe this time you don't have much to say. This could represent hardships or feeling lost and alone, from these words. I like how this is unique and simple.
Not much emotion + just a small thought = creativity. You don't have to rhyme or go on forever with a rap or lyrics. You certainly should not be put down for the length or words in this work of writing. Some view this as talent and others simply disagree.

If this is about feeling like you don't matter, remember that you do. You matter to me. My friends on this writing site matter to me. Everyone on here matters and has so much potential that can be discovered now or rediscovered later on in life. So please...don't feel like you're forgotten because you will not be forgotten by me.

Anyways, sorry I sat there and blabbed on. My mind got carried away in a tangent and yeah. I hope you have a happy day writing (if you wish) and keep posting new works!!

Your acquaintance,

~Catlover211

(By the way I wanted to say that I tell my friends that I'm here for them. I've been forgotten by them. I wonder who misses(ed) me. Lol I also love chocolate)

i didn't like this.

this made no grammatical sense at all. sure you portrayed the loneliness feeling but it made no sense. what you need to do is have it be an actual sentence. your last line should be "i said". you aren't doing anything poetic by reversing the order. it hurts my brain. i love it when a poem is easy to understand and you just couldn't do it. try to make it appeal to everybody. this isn't a bad poem but aim for it to be a fully formed thought.

thanks.

Hey Nerdylilme, I like the idea of this poem since it is so relatable and I get where you're coming from. I'm in a pretty healthy LDR right now so maybe I might not be able to give helpful advice, but I'll draw on past failure :')

I get that you want to convey the loneliness of being in this relationship, and the irony behind that emotion since you are actually with someone. But to be honest I think you need to be a really clever writer to mash this into three lines. The piece needs to have more of an impact. I like "I'm here too." But I think that you could develop on that line and maybe turn the poem into your standard length few-stanza kind of a thing, but I'm gonna assume you want to keep it short so... I think that the last line is redundant because it's pretty confusing, you said "I'm here too.", but then "Who missed me?"? I don't get the tense change, trying to figure out whether or not the relationship has ended at this stage is very difficult for me and for readers in general; I think that in a poem like this there really is no space for confusion. In a longer piece maybe you can allow for a little tiny drop in the flow, but not not in a piece this short because we don't really have any room left for recovery.

I think that the second line would also do better if the last word was 'wondering' instead of 'wonder' - simply because of grammar. And yeah, I think this poem would work better if it was longer and you didn't have that confusing jumble of the last two lines. I like the way the poem is truthful because it makes the writing that much easier and the reader feels that much more comfortable. But you didn't really take advantage of this.

Hoping I helped,
Yours in ink,
TS.

Hello Nerdylilme, steampowered here with a review! This is going to be… a pretty short review, if I’m to be honest, since this poem is so incredibly short, but I’ll try my best to leave you with some decent quality feedback.

Firstly, I’ve always been a fan of short and sweet literary works, whether they’re stories or poems. However, I kind of feel like this might actually be better if it was to be extended a little bit, so you play more on the emotions of being ignored. (I actually thought this poem was incomplete when I first clicked in to it, and I assumed you’d run into difficulties in the Publishing Center, so I went away and left it in case you edited it again)

Another thing which might make this poem more interesting would be if you made the first line rhyme with the last line – that way the poem will feel a bit more rounded.

The second line “Forgotten and still wonder” doesn’t quite make sense to me. I think the “wonder” should be “wondering”.

Other than that, I think that’s all I have to say on this poem. It’s always interesting to find a poem that’s only a few lines long, and I’d be interested to read more of your work. Bear in mind these are just my opinions on the poem, and you don’t have to follow them. Keep writing!

-steampowered-