I really enjoyed this work and I think it did well in bringing across your point in a subtle but determined way. Your metaphor was a lovely one and was well used in your work to bring out our futile state. I loved your last sentence as I thought it really brought the piece together. All together, the piece was beautifully worded, insightful, and had great SPAG. To improve, I suggest you bring out your metaphor a bit more, really give it a practical meaning. However, well done. You definitely have a talent.
~Kazey
Points: 11
Reviews: 64
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