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Shackles of iron[y]

by Nankx

Not much time ago a wildcat couldn't growl
In a cage, in a zoo, eleven chains involved
All the people passing by, it felt hopeless and forlorn
Holding their eyes on such a wildly chained soul
Blindly ignoring the rusted iron roots no-one recalls

Five chains were broken by a kid with a gold token
Which didn't let his thoughts to be unspoken
Four shackles were melted by one blazing heart
Which showed him his soul was a treasure made of art

Riding through the hollow plains of life,
Two shackles were left by his bare feet
Remembering times of plain defeat
Some time ago a wildcat did growl
And weirdly he laughed of his past
Where a spectator he was
As quiet as a country mouse
As shallow as a swamp owl

At the falling of his sun, he ironically realised he was still alone
Those who hung him like a picture, left him as a frame
With his saviors he turned into a lapdog, now he is just a stray
shackled in the graveyard... left into decay

Some moons ago a wildcat left us with its final growl
In the outback he was born, and thus he was torn
Alone, like a rose forlorn, broke apart from its thorns
Long lost chainbreakers, they dont' even mourn
We'll end this the way we started
Or at least that an isolated creature warns

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20 Reviews

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Reviews: 20

Tue Dec 23, 2014 6:46 am
Transporter23 wrote a review...

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20 Reviews

Points: 1892
Reviews: 20

Mon Dec 08, 2014 10:27 pm
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RedWritingHood wrote a review...

Really good rhythm, and interesting story. A couple technical comments:
1. No one does not need a hyphen.
2. "Which didn't let his thoughts to be unspoken" This is a little confusing. Who didn't let his thought be unspoken? I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.
3. "Some moons ago a wildcat..." Add a comma after ago.

It was really powerful and made me think more about zoo animals. I wasn't sure if he actually escaped or not when you mentioned shackles being broken, but it was really good nonetheless.

The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed...
— Charlotte Bronte