Not much time ago a wildcat couldn't growl
In a cage, in a zoo, eleven chains involved
All the people passing by, it felt hopeless and forlorn
Holding their eyes on such a wildly chained soul
Blindly ignoring the rusted iron roots no-one recallsFive chains were broken by a kid with a gold token
Which didn't let his thoughts to be unspoken
Four shackles were melted by one blazing heart
Which showed him his soul was a treasure made of artRiding through the hollow plains of life,
Two shackles were left by his bare feet
Remembering times of plain defeat
Some time ago a wildcat did growl
And weirdly he laughed of his past
Where a spectator he was
As quiet as a country mouse
As shallow as a swamp owlAt the falling of his sun, he ironically realised he was still alone
Those who hung him like a picture, left him as a frame
With his saviors he turned into a lapdog, now he is just a stray
shackled in the graveyard... left into decaySome moons ago a wildcat left us with its final growl
In the outback he was born, and thus he was torn
Alone, like a rose forlorn, broke apart from its thorns
Long lost chainbreakers, they dont' even mourn
We'll end this the way we started
Or at least that an isolated creature warns
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Really good rhythm, and interesting story. A couple technical comments:
1. No one does not need a hyphen.
2. "Which didn't let his thoughts to be unspoken" This is a little confusing. Who didn't let his thought be unspoken? I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.
3. "Some moons ago a wildcat..." Add a comma after ago.
It was really powerful and made me think more about zoo animals. I wasn't sure if he actually escaped or not when you mentioned shackles being broken, but it was really good nonetheless.