Published September 3, 2011
So i went really unconventional with my structure- is this ok????... 
Why do you feel the need to tear me up
Into pieces so small
Little parts of me i'll never get back
Lies, that glossed over it all
Do you notice how it pains me
Under my happy facade
Nothing can get the toxin out
Nothing makes it less hard
Understanding, all I wanted
Race to ending, haunted
Amend, mend it please
Disgust with myself how could you
Induce such a fit of lost identity
Cuts that soil try to hurt me
Karma will pay for my fragility
I am left as nothing
Lost I sang to you but, I was never found
Ownership of friendship not taken
Verisimilitude was all I got, feelings not mutual
Endings that formed beginnings to be shaken
Dead promises that never left the ground
I am left as nothing
Make it better for me please
I no longer have the strength
Soaring in the trees you are
Sliding down I am to great lengths
Understanding, all I wanted
Tempting but i'm terrified of
Another one way chat
Let me at least warn you
Karma comes back
Trying to build the future with our past
ongoing crashes, coming fast
Mixed emotions that never seem to settle
Every time your there I take a big breath
Everytime I feel like nothings left
Everytime I am the victim of theft
Everytimeyour here, I fall into the depths
!
Make it better for me please
I no longer have the strength
Something needs to stop me
Sliding down at great lengths
Understanding all I wanted
Why did you have to tear me up
into pieces so small
little parts I wont get back
little is big afterall
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Now, after reading the entire poem, I realized that in the first stanza, you weren't as complex as the rest of the poem. It seemed that after this stanza, it continued to rise in complexity with your use of words and your choice of description. Everything was fine, until I read the third line in this stanza. I would think that with everything else complex with its words, that this stanza would be the same. "Little parts of me i'll never get back". For my critique, I'd say to capitalize the "I" in "I'll". Also, I think that by rephrasing that line, it'll match up with the amount of complexity that the rest of this poem has. It seems a little off from everything else, at least, that's what I think.
Your choice of how you would write this line was perfect. I can't help but just acknowledge this line so much. The only problem is the grammar. The comma should be after the word, "but". But then again, if it was for some particular purpose, then please correct me lol
PERSONIFICATION RULES!
Other than what I mentioned, I think it was a beautiful poem and to keep up with your work.
I really enjoyed the song; it's really beautiful.
I love the single lines dotted about it really mixes it up. You need to move the exclamation mark onto the same line. That really all that was wrong with it.
It's a really great piece you should be proud.