SS. Melissa

The bell rang, signaling the end of second period. I sighed and grabbed my things, walking towards the door.

“Hey, Mel,” my best friend Beth said as we exited our math class. “Ready for chemistry?” She winked at me.

I snorted, “Trust me. There’s no chemistry happening. Andy doesn’t even glance my way. If anything, Mr. Gray has turned a bit creepy.”

“He’s still checking you and the Blonde Bimbos out?” she asked as we opened our lockers.

“Unfortunately,” I replied sighing loudly into my locker as I got my chemistry book.

“Got a test in history,” Beth says as she shut her locker anxious to leave. “But, keep an eye out on the Bimbos. I heard they were planning something.”

I nodded, pushing up my glasses. “Bye Beth.”

I shut my locker, going in the opposite direction on my best friend. As I neared the science wing, I wanted to turn away. I don’t care what my mom said about dressing nice, this is my final day wearing these awful low cut blouses. They reveal too much.

“Ugh,” an all too familiar high pitched voice said from behind me. I just hugged my book closer to my chest.

“Those jeans with that shirt; talk about a fashion violation.” I just kept walking ignoring everything Stacy said about me to her little minion. There’s nothing wrong with my plain outfit except that I’d rather be wearing my hoodie and sweats.

The next moment I'm looking up at the face of the wall-person I walked into. The gasp of horror from Stacy behind me sounded through the haze of my mind because he has his hands holding me from falling. 

"Are you alright?" He whispered to me. Andy, the jerk who I unfortunately have a crush on, actually cares. 

I slowly nod, not trusting my voice so I don't make a fool out of myself. Andy helps me right myself onto solid ground before handing me my fallen books.

"Don't want to be late for class. Bye." And just like that Andy walked away with Stacy. His arm automatically placed on her shoulder like it belongs there. 

The warning bell rings and I flinch from the noise. People start heading their way to classes and I conform to the flow of traffic. 

I made it to Mr. Gray's chemistry classroom on time sliding into my desk. Mr. Gray was sitting at his desk writing. He has his classroom set up perfectly where my desk and the two in front of me are the closest to him. He's such a creepy old geezer. 

The late bell rang and a few stranglers walked in, except Stacy and Andy. Her little minion had walked in though and sat at the front of my row. She flipped her long platinum blonde hair. I think her name is Alice, and I personally don't mind her falling into a rabbit hole. 

Gray just had to place two of the school’s A-class bitches in front of me as always. They are such dumb blondes to notice anything. I’m surprised Stacy is even passing this class. Alice is almost as smart as me. Almost. 

"Settle down students.” Said Mr. Gray as he glanced everywhere but always came back to my row. “I have last week’s test to hand back.” He walked down my row handing out test to the students on either side of him.

Also placing one on the empty desk in front of me. He placed one on my desk and winked at me. Creeper. I flipped over the test and it was a 100. My eyes almost busted out in shock.

There was no way I had made a perfect score. I purposely missed about three to test a theory. This just confirmed my suspicions that he is just grading them without a care in the world or his eyesight is just that bad.

The classroom door opened and there stood the two love birds in cahoots. 

"Andy and Stacy, do you have a late pass?" Asked Gray who was still passing out the tests. 

Andy pulls a slip out of his back pocket and hands it to Gray before sitting at his desk in the row next to mine. Stacy sits at her desk in front of me, copying Alice by flipping her hair. 

 The two blondes in front of me squealed in delight.

“Like oh my gosh! I got an 81! No way!” said the blondie in the seat in front of me.

“No way! I got the same too!” Said Alice, feigning excitement. Amateurs. The test was easy.

Blondie turned around in her seat to face me. That’s a surprise.

“What did you get?” she all but yelled. I was stunned. Since when did she want to talk to me? She didn’t even use her snarky bitch voice at me. I was about to respond when Mr. Gray interrupted the class.

“Stacy, are you done with your conversation with Andy? I’m sure you can finish after class.”

I should have known she wasn’t talking to me. I zoned out when he decided to start lecturing on the next chapter about the periodic table. I already read and made notes after the test the other day. So I doodled in my notebook to pass the time wanting today to be over. 

The bell rang after the awkward last twenty minutes of chemistry. I bolted to my locker. I was spinning the dial when Kyle leaned casually against the one next to mine. 

"So you finally going to ask him?" He asked as I switched my chemistry book for another.

"Y-yeah. Later today." That didn't sound as confident as I wanted it to.

"Relax Mel," he said placing his hands on my shoulders. "You can do this. I'll still be there for you no matter what." 

The bell rang signaling last period had ended. I packed my things and followed everyone out the door but I hung back waiting. Andy walked out moments later. 

You can do this. I caught back up to him tapping him on the shoulder.

"Hey Andy." He stopped walking and turned to me. 

"Hi..."

"It's Mel."

"Right. Aren't you that girl I bumped into earlier?"

"Yeah." I put my hands behind my back looking down slightly before looking back up. "Um, I was wondering if you would go to the homecoming dance with me." I had my fingers crossed behind my back. He stayed silent for two seconds.

"Nope," he said before walking away. What? I chased after him.

"Why not?"

"Bug off nerd." He lightly shoved me but me being me still got pushed back more than necessary. He kept on walking and I just stared at him. This was not the Andy I had a crush on. Stacy must have asked him already. 

*~*~*~*

I sat cross legged on the floor in my black sweats and green hoodie. The brown coffee table was cleared off except for a stack of playing cards.

“Three sixes,” said my twin brother Adam, setting his cards face down on the pile.

“One seven,” said my younger brother Seth whose eight as he put his card on the pile too.

It was my turn. I needed an eight but I only have three cards in my hand: a five, ace, and queen. I grab the five and place it on the pile.

“One ei-“

“Baloney sandwiches!” said both my brothers simultaneously. I sighed and picked up the whole pile of like ten cards and started putting them in order.

“Two nines.” said Adam.

“One ten,” said Seth, he hardly ever cheats at this game and when he does he grins giving it away.

My cell phone rings, its noise interrupting our game. I take hold of the old beat up flip phone hitting the button.

“Yellow."

“Mel!” It's Beth. "Good, you’re at level one. There’s a huge party going down at Warren's. Wanna come?” One of Andy's buds is throwing a party on a Wednesday? 

“Can’t it’s sibling night.”

“Right. Which card game is it?”

“Baloney sandwiches!” yelled Seth as it was Adam's turn, making her hear it.

 “Really? BS? Have fun....And sorry about everything, Andy and this week." And then she hung up. I stuck my phone in my pocket and stood up, no longer wanting to play. My happy mood being sucked out like a vacuum.

"I'm out. Night guys." I said as I placed my cards on the table. 

"Come on Mel," said Adam. "It's not even Seth's bedtime." 

I just shook my head and ran upstairs to my room. I shut my door and leaned my forehead against it. A few stray tears fell. Andy is such a jerk and Beth just had to mention "it" again. 

"Mel?" Adam's voice asked gently in the other side of the door. "Are you okay?"

"Go away, Adam." I said trying not to show my weakness. 

"Please Me? I'm not leaving you up here alone." 

I sighed and opened the door. His happiness from earlier was gone and replaced with sadness. He enveloped me into a hug. I broke down instantly as Adam whispered what I wanted to hear. But it's not going to be okay. 

It's been three years since my father’s death and I can't get over it. Not when I was the one who caused the accident. 

"Mel!" My father yelled at me over the sound of the pounding rain. "Port to starboard!" I was manning the wheel on our boat while dad took care of the sails on deck. The surprised thunderstorm was sending sheets of rain down on us. Our little tug boat, the SS Melissa, wasn’t meant to be in weather like this.

My long red hair was stuck to my face in places where my yellow raincoat did nothing to block the rain. The tiny boat turned with my command as a wave slammed ink its side sending water across the deck.

"Dad!" I cried out hoping he didn't get washed away, I had to keep my hands on the wheel. 

I steered the boat through another wave that crashed across the deck again. 

I wiped my tears off as Adam released his hold of me. Somewhere in my breakdown we sat on the floor. 

"You going to be okay now?" He asked like I was a four year old with a scrapped knee. 

I nodded in return. He got up from the floor and went to the door. He took one last look at me before walking away leaving the door open. 

I waited until he got about halfway down the stairs before lightly shutting my door and entering my bathroom dropping my phone onto the counter on the left side. I stared at it. I should call Kyle. I never told him Andy's answer. But I don't. 

I open the drawer revealing its messy contents. Hair bands, combs, clips. And then all the way in the back was what I was looking for. A razor blade. I set it on the counter on the opposite side of the sink. 

If it wasn't for Andy's answer being the sour cherry on the top of my disaster sundae it wouldn't have escalated like this. 

Mom would send me back to that awful place if she found out about this. Adam would probably scold me again.  

"Screw it." I rolled my left sleeve up before digging for some band aids in the other drawer. I turned around going through my towel rack for a dark colored wash cloth. I picked up the razor poised with it inches from my left wrist.

Here I go. I'm actually doing this. I could see the blue veins. One strike and I could hit a major chord. You can do it Mel. Go on. 

Ring! Ring! 

I sighed and dropped the blade to answer my phone. 

"Blue."

"Hey Mel," it's Kyle. "How'd the... The date asking thing go?"

"He said no." I gripped the edge of the counter with my free hand. 

"Cheer up Mel. It's just a crush; no need to jump to level three. You were bound to be heartbroken sooner or later. Andy wasn't worth it." He paused and a muffled 'coming' sounded through. "Sorry, but I gotta go. I'll see you at school."

"Bye Kyle." I placed my phone back down and picked up the blade. 

It's now or never. 

3…

2…

"Mel!" Adam yelled from outside the bathroom door. I had striked the blade against my arm from being startled. 

Either way I was still caught. 

"Please don't tell mom." I said back, the tears coming again.