Once, there was a dream.
I hoped it will never engrave
itself into my heart.
I was afraid to be betrayed.
So, I left it alone there.
Tried to make it sink into
unconsciousness.
I didn't want to waver
the hopes of mine and others.
I wanted to go straight
on the road carved out
by others for me.
I didn't want to stray.
I didn't want to be thrown away.
I was afraid to be betrayed.
So, I deceived the thoughts
and the pictures of my dream.
I messed myself up
in order to betray that dream.
I had to let it go,
had to never think about it.
I had to lose my emotions
I had to gain control.
Even today, deep in my heart,
I pray.
I pray for the support.
I pray for the happiness of others.
I pray for my dream to
come true someday.
I'm locking the door,
stuffing all the dreams
in the unconscious room.
But I'll open it someday,
very soon.
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139,792 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
EXCELLENT poem. This is a very emotional one and a good write though. Dreams are supposed to be fulfill. You must go ahead to get it done
Anyways it's a good response to the society's behavior, you know what I am talking about.
You also need to improve your punctuation, just avoid the useless use of commas, honey.
I am very proud of you. Very well done. Keep it up
Thank you
I will try my best next time 
Hey there Musky.
Nice poem.
You will get very far.
A few tips:
Focus on how you form some sentences.
Stanza 1, line 5. Instead of "So, I left it alone there." You should've said "So I left it there alone." My personal opinion is that the comma was not needed, but if you feel as though it adds to how you'd like the reader to read it, that's fine. Just my opinion.
In stanza 4...
You say you had to loose your emotions, then you said you had to gain control. I believe it should be either or because gaining control means keeping the emotions but directing them specifically.
I won't say that stanza's 5 and 6 are bad, but they are just a bit ironic. You are speaking of abandoning the dream yet you are praying for it to come through.
If it's not ironic, then on the other hand, I understand what you mean because in the earlier parts of the poem, you spoke of how you initially abandoned the dreams because of people to begin with. I get you. 50/50
I enjoyed it.
Remember, focus on your formation.
Best wishes in your writing.
-J
Hey there Musky.
Nice poem.
You will get very far.
A few tips:
Focus on how you form some sentences.
Stanza 1, line 5. Instead of "So, I left it alone there." You should've said "So I left it there alone." My personal opinion is that the comma was not needed, but if you feel as though it adds to how you'd like the reader to read it, that's fine. Just my opinion.
In stanza 4...
You say you had to loose your emotions, then you said you had to gain control. I believe it should be either or because gaining control means keeping the emotions but directing them specifically.
I won't say that stanza's 5 and 6 are bad, but they are just a bit ironic. You are speaking of abandoning the dream yet you are praying for it to come through.
If it's not ironic, then on the other hand, I understand what you mean because in the earlier parts of the poem, you spoke of how you initially abandoned the dreams because of people to begin with. I get you. 50/50
I enjoyed it.
Remember, focus on your formation.
Best wishes in your writing.
-J
Thank you very much for your advices and tips ^^ I'll focus more on verse formation ^^ hope you enjoy my nexg poems too ^^