Putting Down the Blade

Hello Mrsxcreepypasta

this really didn't seem much like a poem, there were some errors, but we all make mistakes. this poem has a deep meaning to it most people may not get, I can strongly relate to. perhaps review your poems before you post them.

keep writing

Hello,

spectator here to review your poem! This will probably end up being a shortish review since this poem is rather short, and self explanatory.

First, the technicalities:
1. "Eight cuts to big" should be "Eight cuts too big"
2. "Nine cuts you cant breath" needs an apostrophe "Nine cuts you can't breath"
3. "Eleven cuts to much" should be "Eleven cuts too many"
4. "Twelve cuts *you're gone"

I think that's all for grammatical errors, but it won't hurt you to go back through this poem and double check. These are really simple mistakes that happen to the best of us!

A personal note:
Because this poem is about self-harm, although it's not terribly graphic, something like this could be triggering to someone. I think it might be nice to include a quick note in the description of this poem to let readers know what they're getting into.

Let's talk about structure:
1. Now, I am a really strong believer in the fact that writers can do whatever they want in their poetry when it comes to punctuation and capitalization, but the fact that you only punctuated the questions throws me off. I am not saying to change this, but I think it would be interesting to consider why you did this.
2. I think it might be cool if you separate this out into stanzas. Each question could be the end of a stanza. Personally, this would make reading the poem a lot easier, because one big block of text makes the flow seemed rushed.
3. It might be interesting to italicize the questions. You don't have to, but I think it would be nice. Maybe just play around with it? The reason I would do this is that the questions are the narrator's thoughts, while the counting is describing the situation and a little more differentiation between them would help the flow improve. The way the poem reads right now there is not enough of a pause between the counting and the question and I think italicization could help with this. Or maybe just a comma?

Some thematic/content things and stuff
1. I think that the counting is cool because it seems like something out of a child's rhyme or book, and juxtaposing it with something as concerning as self-harm is haunting.
2. To me at least, the takeaway from this poem is don't self harm/self harm is bad. This being said, it seems a little bit strange that this poem takes so much time to describe self-harm itself and not very much time to illustrate the narrator's relationship with, and love and worry for someone who is self-harming. I think the latter is more important in displaying your message. Maybe play around with building this relationship?

Keep on writing! Nice work!

~ spectator

Oh I dony know what to say for this poem, thus didn't seem like a poem at all, because it was simple to read and understand. I like poems that make me think but this also touched me on a strange way.

You've grammatical mistakes and typos which shatter the flow, I hope you'll work upon that important prospect the next time.
Eight cuts to big

Eleven cuts to much
Twelve cuts your gone

Take care
Keep writing

Simple poem like this deserves a simple review.
It works, the meaning is clear and well conveyed. I would say it is more of read than an experience though. I would say more vivid use of imagery, or any use of it at all combined with a more complex structure could make this poem more impactful. Self harming is a problem for many and perhaps you speak from a personal experience, but I would say this poem doesn't do justice to the complex issues and reasoning why people cut. Keep working on it and write about what you care about.
Minor grammar nitpicks:
Twelve cuts you're* gone
Eight cuts too* big