Stay Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Marianna spent her entire night listening to her mother crying in her bedroom. The big, old house was so quiet without her noisy brother and intrusive father, without the sound of computer keys clicking away a mile a minute from her mother´s office.

Marianna had never really been close with her father, though she did miss him now that he was not around; he had always protected her and been there for her financially, but she never realized how distant they were until he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye to her.

Suddenly, as she was finishing up her math homework, her phone rang which startled her.

“Buenos noches,” she said tiredly, half expecting Carmen.

“Marianna,” a husky voice came from the other end.

Marianna was quiet for a moment as it took a while for the voice to register in her head. It sounded familiar, but her mind rejected the sound.

“Marianna?”

“Papa?”

“Sí, Maria. How are you, mi bonita?”

“Más o menos, Papa. I´m OK,” she said, unsure of how to react to his phone call. Her heart pounded inside her chest a mile a minute. The anger and resentment rose inside her like a boiling pot of water.

“Bien. Did you enjoy your trip to see your abuela?”

“Sí.” She paused. “Sí I did, Papa.”

There was a short pause between the two. Marianna sincerely wished that she was not on the phone with him.

“Look, Marianna ... I would love to see you.”

Marianna was silent.

“We could meet somewhere, yes?”

“Where?”

“We could go for coffee,”

Marianna paused, hesitant, “When?”

“Tomorrow,”

“I have school tomorrow,” Marianna insisted. Part of her didn´t know if she truly didn´t want to miss school or if she was just searching for excuses not to see him, this man who she had thought she knew her whole life, but realized recently that she did not know him at all.

“Sí, I know. I could meet you afterwards, right?”

Marianna looked to the window. Tears began to brim in her eyes. She was suddenly emotional and she didn’t think that she could finish the conversation. “Pa-Papa,” she stuttered.

“Sí, Marianna? Why do you cry?”

“Why did you leave?” She asked.

There was another short pause, “We will talk about this tomorrow, ¿sí?”

Marianna nodded. “Sí. Mañana.”

“I will meet you at your school. I love you, Marianna. Te quiero. I love you so much.”

Marianna hesitated, caught between loving her father and hating him, “I love you too, Papa.” As Marianna hung up the phone, her mother came in with her arms folded across her chest.

She was still crying, her eyes red and irritated.

“Who was that?” She demanded.

Marianna hesitated, “Papa.”

Her mother inhaled deeply and looked as if she were going to begin bawling all over again, simply from hearing the recognition of her husband.

“He just wanted to see me, Mama, that´s all.”

“What does he want to see you for, huh? Does he want to hurt you, too, Marianna? Is that what you’re going to let happen?” She demanded, squeezing her tissue between her hands angrily.

“Mama, he would never-”

“He wouldn’t? Are you sure?”

“Mama,” Marianna insisted. “ⅰPor favor!”

“Let us just hope he does not find a way to hurt you, too, huh?”

Marianna looked to the floor as her mother walked away. Everything had changed so much without her father being around. Her life was completely turned upside down. Marianna no longer felt like a privileged teenager living the dream of many of her peers. The atmosphere was so stressful.

She didn’t cry. Marianna refused to let her pain show through, and refused to allow her father´s actions to justify her feelings.

The next morning at school, a few people here and there were still staring at her after just finding out that day, but the majority of people had found it old news and moved on to the next bit of gossip. Marianna met Carmen at the classroom doors.

“Look!” She hissed at Marianna.

Marianna peered into the class. A new teacher was behind the desk, sorting through some papers. From what Marianna could see with his back turned to her, he was young and had a very nice rear end.

“I wonder where Mrs. Mackey is, today,” Carmen asked, walking in to the class.

Marianna followed close behind her best friend, trying to hide but still see over her shoulder.

The man turned around. He had dark brown hair with exotic green eyes and he wore a stylish black suit with a dark blue undershirt and a blue-striped tie. He was gorgeous, and had the smile of an angel. He looked extremely young to be a teacher.

Marianna couldn´t help but stare and her breath was swept right out of her lungs.

First, his eyes fell on Carmen, and then they trailed over to Marianna, standing shyly behind her.

Marianna, withdrawn more than she had ever been, remained hidden behind her best friend.

“Mrs. Mackey is sick, today. I’ll be you’re student teacher,” he smiled, “My name is Mr. De Luca. And what are your names?”

Carmen messed up her face and ignored his question, “But didn’t Mrs. Mackey have a few more weeks left before she had to leave?”

“She sure does, but she wasn’t feeling well this morning so I’m just filling in for the day. Don’t worry; she will be back in a jiffy, and then I will be back to teach you guys later,” he smiled at the both of them.

Marianna felt her heart flutter in her chest.

“You’re more than welcome to take your seats,” he gestured towards the classroom where only a few people sat.

Marianna and Carmen took their usual seats in the middle of the class and exchanged glances.

The moment that Mr. De Luca turned his back, Marianna and Carmen leaned in towards each other.

“He sure is the cutest teacher I’ve ever had,” Carmen confessed quietly.

“Ay, shush!” Marianna hushed her, worried that he may hear them and judge their childish actions.

When class began, everyone hissed and whispered about him while his back was turned, writing on the chalk board. The girls fluttered their eyelashes and the boys asked him if he was into fishing, paintball, quad riding or football.

Mr. De Luca appeared extremely laid back and funny, and Marianna hoped that he was everything that she thought he was. She sincerely wanted to enjoy him, for there were so few teachers in her high school worth looking at. She hoped that Mr. De Luca would make coming to school a pleasure.

Marianna couldn’t help but notice the way he looked at her when nobody was watching. While he spoke to the class, he would always pick her out of the crowd with his eyes instead of anyone else. When he explained something, he would walk up and down the aisles between the desks, always the aisle right beside Marianna, and never anywhere else. She laughed at herself when she realized how foolish she was being. Perhaps Marianna was picking out reasons to believe that the teacher found her beautiful, found her intriguing.

At the end of class, Marianna and Carmen were the last ones out.

Mr. De Luca stood beside them, “Good job today, girls. I really felt as though you understood it all,” he said, although he looked at Marianna and not at Carmen, “Marianna, was it?”

Marianna nodded.

“Good job,”

“You were a very good teacher, Mr. De Luca,” Carmen spoke up, always one to flirt.

“Why, thank you, Carmen,” he turned to her, “you were a very good student, a pleasure to have in the classroom. I suppose I will be seeing you in a few weeks.”

“Bye,” Carmen waved at him girlishly over her shoulder.

Marianna stayed quiet as she followed Carmen out the door, “What an odd teacher,” she said when they were out the door, “Was he staring at me a lot, or was it just me?”

“Oh, Dios, Marianna,” Carmen rolled her eyes and nudged her with her shoulder, “for such a supposedly nice person, you sure are full of yourself!”

Marianna didn’t say anything else as she hugged her books tighter to her chest and made her way to her next class. She pushed her foolish thoughts of Mr. De Luca out of her head while she counted the minutes until she would meet the awkwardness of seeing her father.

By the time Marianna was heading out to the parking lot at the end of the day, she had already forgotten that her father was meeting her there after school. She spotted his vehicle out of the corner of her eye and felt frustrated and overwhelmed that she had forgotten about meeting him in such a short period of time. She wondered if she could make a break for her car and just pretend she had to stay at school late. Then, she reconsidered, feeling bad for trying to bail on her own father. Although, it would be a sample of his own medicine, for what he had done to her.

Marianna slowly wandered over to his truck, the snow falling so hard that she could scarcely see him through the black wind shield. She opened the door of the truck and her dad, business-like as he ever was, smiled down at her in a fatherly way.

“Are you ready?” He asked, moving a few of his things out of her way so that she could sit down.

“Papa,” she said as a casual greeting, not giving him the pleasure of seeing her either happy or sad. As she stepped up into the truck and sat down, she sighed. Things had become so awkward for her and him and she regretted ever leaving for España. Perhaps, had she stayed, she could have changed things.

“Are you ready to go for some coffee?” He asked as he started to pull out of the parking lot slowly, minding all of the kids walking through to their cars.

“Sí, Papa. I’m ready,” she said reluctantly.

They went to a small Chinese café and sat down at a big table across from each other.

Marianna ordered a lemon Fanta and Don ordered a coffee.

“So,” he said, taking in a deep breath and looking around.

Conversations had never been so awkward between her and her father before and it made her uncomfortable to be in that situation, though she was relieved to see him. He looked just how she remembered, very tall, dark and handsome.

However, it almost seemed like every opportunity that she gave him to explain his choices he would avoid it, like he was afraid to touch on the subject.

“So, where are you staying?” Marianna asked him, keeping her eyes fixed on the cold Fanta between her hands.

He tensed up and he broke eye contact with her, “El hotel.”

“Con quién?”

“ⅰDispense!” He snapped. “How dare you start to accusing me?”

“Papa, I am just repeating what Mama-”

“Tú mama? Tú mama? She has been nothing but selfish during our entire marriage of together. Now, she is trying to turn you against me, for what reason, Marianna?”

“Then why did you leave, Papa?” She looked into his eyes and felt her heart beating fast. The conversation had become very serious and tense in a matter of seconds. “All I want to know is why you left. I won’t judge you, no matter what,”

Don Jesus-Ernesto Gonzalez avoided the question once more, “Such topics this serious are not appropriate for young ladies such as you. Cut this nonsense,”

“Fine,” Marianna stood up, “fine, take me back to my car.”

“Marianna, por favor-”

“Just take me back to my car,”

So, Don Jesus-Ernesto took his stubborn seventeen year old daughter back to the school parking lot that was now deserted. As she was about to exit his truck, he grabbed her by the upper arm very gently.

“Marianna,”

“Sí?”

“I will see you tomorrow,”

“Tomorrow? Por qué tomorrow?”

“The of custody trial,” he stated simply, as if she should have known.

“The what?”

“Did your Mama not tell you?”

Marianna left out the fact that her mother had gone into a drunken slump and had been incoherent for most of the time, “No. Are you fighting for custody over me?”

“I think it is only fair that the trial will determine who is a better parent to you, Marianna. You know I have been so good to you. ¿S o no?”

“Papa! You know that will tear Mama apart if-”

“It is serving her right, Marianna.”

Marianna let her head roll back sadly. “You’re always making her out to be the bad person,” she said. Then, she got out of the truck and trudged through the snow over to her car. She sat inside the car and cried as she watched her dad pull out of the parking lot.

It never occurred to Marianna what really went on inside a court house; she didn’t even have a clue what one looked like on the inside. But that day she was not in school and she was inside the court house that she had driven by every day on her way to school, being fought over by her parents.

They had been inside the room for what seemed like hours with a bunch of mumbo-jumbo being tossed back and forth between her parents’ lawyers.

She began to daydream, looking out the window and longing to be anywhere else but there. Being inside the courtroom made her reminisce about the time her brother had gotten into trouble with the law for breaking into a house with a bunch of his friends. He had been drinking and smoking drugs, vandalizing the home and so many other awful things. Quilon had been instructed to stand before a judge and the family of whose home he broke into and apologize. Quilon also had to pay a small fine and do community hours. Marianna remembered how it had sculpted her brother’s behaviour so much after it happened. It had made him the person that he was that very day. Not a good person, not a bad person.

Quilon was a very quiet and peer-influenced person. He had been punished more strictly than Marianna had as a child, so he usually kept quiet and to himself. He had a lot of friends and had a lot of girlfriends in his lifetime, but he always found it hard to stay attached to someone and form a relationship. Quilon had gotten into a lot of trouble with the law when he was younger, and their parents had many late-night discussions about him and why he did the things he did. Between the two there were a lot of harsh words tossed around like you did this and he learned it from you and where did we go wrong with him. Regardless of anything Quilon did, Marianna loved her brother with everything she had, and would always remain by him.

“Both of the parents are able to support her,” Ireri Marianna Gonzalez’s lawyer said, “both of her parents have lived with her for her entire life, and neither parent has ever physically, emotionally, verbally or psychologically abused Marianna, which means that the decision should be left in Marianna’s hands!” He exclaimed, visibly tired of the prolonged discussion.

The judge sighed and clapped his hands together, “Well, Marianna. What do you think?”

Marianna tried not to cry. She felt her heart leap into her throat and she choked on her words. She looked at her mother, who was usually so exotically beautiful, and her eyes became sad. “I love you, Mama,” she said.

Ireri tried to smile, but it was noticeably forced, “Te quiero, Marianna.”

“And Papa,” Marianna turned to her father, at her other side, “I love you, as well.”

He nodded. “Yo también,”

“I cannot decide. Can I not be with both of them?”

The judge smiled half-heartedly, “Of course you can, Marianna. That is the fairest choice of all,”

“Then that is what I choose. I choose that I can live with both parents. I love both of my parents, and I want to be with the both of them, ”

“Why?” Ireri stood up, furious.

“Sit down, Ireri, please,” her lawyer begged, placing a tired hand on her arm.

“Why would you want to live with him, Marianna? Do you want to live with that dirty whore he’s with so you can learn how to treat people as badly as he does? ” She demanded. She had begun crying furiously, flailing her hands in the air as she spoke.

“ⅰPare! ⅰPare! ⅰMentiroso!” Don hollered.

“Enough, I’ll have order in my court room!” The presiding judge demanded.

“You are the mentiroso!” She cried. “You will not take my daughter away from me, Don, not now, not ever!”

“Mama! Papa, stop this, stop this!” Marianna cried, standing up and slamming her fists down on the cold, hard table, “Why are you fighting? You used to love each other!”

Ireri folded her arms across her chest, “I guess that whore was better loving than me, no?”

Don looked at her, his already small eyes slitting even smaller, “You’re damn right,”

All of a sudden, Ireri’s anger burst out and she leapt on to the table to crawl across in an attempt to attack him when Ireri’s lawyer grabbed her around her waist and tried to pull her back.

Don stepped back in shock, but remaining firmly angry.

“I despise you! You ruin my life!” Ireri cried out, scraping at the table and throwing papers everywhere.

“ⅰPuta!” Don cried.

The room went silent and Ireri stopped. She stared at Don, taken aback. There were some words you just didn´t use in the Gonzalez house, and that was one of them.

Marianna stared as well. “Papa!” She gasped, taken aback.

Don took his jacket off of the back of the chair and walked out of the room angrily.

His lawyer stood there, flabbergasted. “Uh...” he hesitated, “can we meet again?”

The judge nodded, waved his hand and sighed.

Marianna was humiliated by the childish antics her parents had displayed that day.

Ireri grabbed Marianna by the arm and pulled her towards the door. “Come on, Marianna; we’re leaving.”

Her mother cursed at her the entire way home, angry at how she supposedly wanted to hurt her like her father had. Although that was the exact opposite of what Marianna really wanted to do, she kept her mouth shut and let her mother rant on her. Maybe it would help her sleep better and she wouldn’t drink as much that night if she could vent all of her anger.

Of course when Marianna got home that night there were a thousand messages on her answering machine from Carmen, demanding to know why she hadn’t gone to school. Marianna didn’t bother calling her back. All she wanted to do was sleep, and dream good dreams.

Marianna had passed out on her bed in almost a heartbeat early into the night. She was awakened by a noise from downstairs. She bolted up from her bed, expecting it may have been an intruder that had carefully planned an entrance into her house around the alarm systems. For the amount everything in her house was worth, it wouldn’t surprise her if someone had taken that time out of their life to plan such a thing. Plus, Marianna was paranoid from watching too many thriller films at night.

Marianna darted out of her room and down the hall, moving swiftly but tip-toeing. She hurried to her mother’s bedroom, but she wasn’t in her bed. A little more calmly, Marianna made her way downstairs, trying to avoid looking at her family pictures hanging on the wall as she walked down the stairs, as she knew they would only break her heart.

“Mama?” Marianna called out quietly, “Mama, are you down here?” She traced the loud noises into the kitchen and she stopped in the doorway.

Ireri was sitting on one of the bar stools, digging through the cupboards and throwing pots and pans everywhere. Her hair was up, and she was dressed in a very provocative outfit. She had done her makeup, and looked as if she was planning on going out somewhere.

“Mama, what are you doing?” Marianna stepped into the kitchen and looked at her mother more closely. To her dismay, she saw another bottle of wine beside her mother, open and half-empty, “Oh, Mama. This has to stop,” she pleaded.

Ireri turned around, visibly intoxicated.

“What are you looking for in the cupboards? You’re making a lot of noise, Mama, it´s like three in the morning,”

“Food. Yo tengo hambre,” Ireri said, continuing to rummage through the cupboards.

“Well, sit down at the table, Mama. I’ll make you something,” Marianna held her mother by the arm and guided her over to the table, sitting her down gently on the chair, “What would you like, Mama?”

All at once, Ireri took her hand from her lap and slapped Marianna across her face, “You are just like your papa!” She spat.

Marianna fell into the counter behind her, hitting her head on the wood. She clasped her hand to her face in surprise, her mouth a perfect circle as she stared at her mother. A throbbing pain began to sear from the point of impact on the back of her head straight to her brain.

“Get out of my face!” Ireri cried, standing up and raising her hand as if she may try to hit her again.

Hurriedly, Marianna ran for the house door. She grabbed her car keys off of the table and left without a word or a jacket. She drove in a furious hurry, freezing while she waited for the heat to warm her up. She cried out loud, sobbing uncontrollably, because she was sure nobody else would be on the roads at that hour to peer through her windows and wonder why she cried as profusely as she did. It took her a long time, but she finally arrived at Carmen’s house, and collapsed on her front step after ringing the door bell.

Carmen’s sister came to the door in a housecoat and her hair in curlers, “Marianna?” She knelt down and picked Marianna up by her arms, “Are you OK?”

Marianna cried, not even attempting to speak between sobs.

Carmen’s sister helped her walk up the stairs. She knocked on Carmen’s door and waited.

Carmen opened the door a few minutes later in her tank top and pyjama shorts. She looked tired and angry, but her face eased when she saw Marianna, and eased even more so when she saw Marianna in a fury of tears.

Marianna stepped out of Carmen’s sister’s arms and into Carmen’s, crying on her shoulder.

“Marianna, what’s the matter?” She asked, stroking her back and raking her fingers through Marianna’s long, curly hair.

Marianna was too hysterical to talk, so Carmen helped her to sit down on the bed.

“I’ll be right back, Marianna. Wait right here,” she insisted, and then hurried out of the room. She came in a few minutes later with a cup in her hand. She handed the cup to Marianna, whose hands were shaking furiously. She helped her to steady her hands and then wrapped a blanket around her. “Here, drink this,” she said, “it’s my mom’s turkey rice soup. It always makes me feel better after a lousy day.”

Marianna tried to sip it gently so she didn’t spill.

Carmen sat down beside her best friend and stroked the bangs out of her face so it didn’t get in the soup. “Tell me what’s wrong, Marianna. What happened? Dime,”

Marianna sat the cup of soup on her lap, still cradling it in her hands as she tried to steady her quivering arms. She liked the way it made her cold fingers tingle. She sniffled and hiccoughed, “Mama and I got into a fight.”

Carmen put on a sympathetic face, “Aw, Marianna,” she cooed.

“She’s been drinking so much, lately. I don’t know what to do to help her!” She cried.

“That’s why you’re so upset?”

Marianna shook her head as she bit her lip. Just thinking about what had happened brought tears to her eyes once again.

“Tell me, Marianna. You know I’m always here for you. Dime,” she continued to stroke Marianna’s hair.

“Mama, she-she ... she got so angry at me...” her voice began to trail off.

“And then what happened, Marianna?” Carmen fixed the blanket around Marianna, rubbing at her back to comfort her.

“She hurt me, Carmen. Mama has never hurt me, before.”

Again, the sympathetic look came back on to Carmen’s face, “She didn’t mean what she did, Marianna. She loves you; she’s just upset over what happened.”

“No, Carmen. You don’t understand,” Marianna looked into Carmen’s eyes and wanted to crawl into a little hole and die.

“What do you mean, then?”

Again, Marianna hesitated. Then, “She hit me.”

At first, Carmen was unsure what to do or say. Her face remained expressionless, and then her brows puckered as if on cue.

Marianna’s head fell.

“Oh, Marianna,” Carmen stroked her hair, “oh I am sure she did not mean it.”

Marianna nodded vigorously, looking up at Carmen through blurry, tear-filled eyes, “I know, Carmen. I know Mama didn’t mean it. But it just shows me how easy it is to lose somebody and how much it affects people. What if my Mama never gets better, Carmen? What if she will always be like this? What if my family just falls apart and I have nowhere to go and nobody to go to?”

“Oh, Marianna, your Mama is so strong. She’s beautiful and she has a great daughter. She’ll be fine in a while, she just needs time. It’s just like when my parents separated, Marianna. Time heals everything.”

Marianna shook her head, “How can you say that? How do you know that time heals everything, Carmen? What if this time, it doesn´t?”

Carmen hugged her best friend tightly, “Don’t worry, Marianna. Things will look up, just you wait and see,” she smiled. “Yo tengo sueño. Let’s get some sleep; it’s late,” she said quietly.

Marianna lay down against the wall on Carmen’s bed. She sat the cup of soup down on the night stand and smiled up at her best friend. “Everything will get better, ¿verdad?”

“Sí, Marianna. Everything always gets better.” She lay down beside Marianna and crawled under the covers. She shut out the light beside her and went to sleep.