I have never mastered the principle of polite interest.
When I love something, it fills me right up,
From the black hole in my stomach to the knot in my throat, pushing against the backs of my eyes;
It sends shivers down my spine and breaks my face.
I can't "appreciate"
Because appreciating implies a distance, an emotional reserve.
I can't love something without crashing in and among, no graceful swan dive,
But headlong, haphazard,
Exploding the world around me and slamming my head against the bottom
Never thinking of breathing again.
I think someone forgot to turn my dimmer to "dimmable",
a smooth progression from 0 to 1, 2, 3;
But left it on switched:
off - off - off - off - ON.
So I am annoying, distracting, loud, awkward, "a bit much", disrespectful
(because respect is not reverence or honour; respect is cold, impersonal, removed, enforced).
I apologise a billion times for my lack of self-control
and, because I am punished for loving, begin to hate
a world that cannot focus unless I am still.
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
I can feel your passion and personality in the poem, I would have to say my favorite line would probably be:
"I think someone forgot to turn my dimmer to "dimmable",
a smooth progression from 0 to 1, 2, 3;
But left it on switched:
off - off - off - off - ON."
I think this is such a clever metaphor for your energy and maybe even over zealous personality as you described in this piece.
I also find the ending interesting, I perceived that to be you succumbing to how others would prefer you to be "calm" so to speak cause over the course of your life people have tried to dull your spirits and now you've caved and are less exuberant, I've gathered from your poem your personality is too big for those around you so you've had to dial it down to be accepted. Whether I'm right or wrong about the meaning behind this piece I still think it's wonderfully written. And I think the structure of the poem being just a little all over the place adds something more to the idea of the poem. Very well done, keep up the great work!
Ohh I loved where this poem went. The ending was so resolute, and the message/feeling behind it is communicated so well.
^ I had to read that a couple times over, because it's really nice.
Meaning
Okay so this poem doesn't beat around the bush, so interpretation was not too difficult. I interpreted this poem to be about a speaker who is sick of people implying or living or speaking with all this emotional distance because they feel life and they feel it deeply.
They won't apologize for not feeling "polite interest" or "respect" or all these other terms, because they're so removed from how they actually feel. And they share at the end their frustration for I think a world that they see as living too much reserved/removed, and that because of the disconnect the speaker's actually starting to hate the world that doesn't seem to understand/appreciate the speaker back.
It's such a neat concept, because I don't know that I've ever read a poem that plays with this idea, it's so deeply emotional and yet there are tangible consequences to a culture that feels everything "removed" - so this poem turns one person's emotions into something tangible that we can feel and discuss. Very neat.
Suggestions
Your little bits of imagery that you weaved in here and there- the "graceful swan dive" and "black hole in the stomache..." were just perfect - I can see that, I can feel that. I wish there was a bit more of that clever imagery in the second half of the poem. I even would like to see some of those removed emotions displayed in imagery - what does it look like to be impersonal/removed/cold/reserved and how does that contrast with how the speaker looks and acts. You've got a lot of great synonyms for saying the same thing, but I want a bit more of the tangible imagery side too - especially since you do imagery so well.
Another small thing, is I thought some of the formatting conventions were a bit distracting - such as the "quote" marks, and also the all caps "ON".
I kind of liked that the lines were so varied in length because it showed that the speaker sort of rejected the formality of finely kept stanza/line lengths and was going to say what needed to be said.
Overall, I liked this poem quite a bit!
~alliyah
Hello!
This review is not going to be super long, because you've honestly left me speechless!
I absolutely love your formatting, it is super creative and original. And it really grabs my attention. The message in your work is quite amazing, and i feel it very much. As a super impulsive person with almost no self control (last week I painted my torso purple because my brain was like "it'll be great" and my girlfriend wasn't there to stop me....) it hits me on a different level then what you may have intended. But regardless, this piece was amazing and i thoroughly enjoyed it.
I found no spelling or grammar mistakes, and I like your use of punctuation.
With that being said,
Keep writing and have an awesome day!
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