Sleeping Love

I liked that(:
Really good.

I really like this poem. At first I didn't understand why they were running to the Ham:P There's a few mistakes, is there intentionally no capitalization?

the love they had was easy#FF0000 ">, so easy to feel

aha guys funny story behind this poem... my girlfriend said that i couldn't make a poem where every line rhymed to the word underneath it. So i proved her wrong and wrote this poem on Skype in like 3 minutes. Thats why it's so rubbish. I only posted it to see what you would think of it... guess it's pretty bad huh? Lol, well it was just for fun, so whatever Keep on writing people! Seems writing is the only thing you can't get in trouble for in this world!

Hey there, Mr Sillie, I'm June,

I think this poem is a certain kind of cute, but there are some things about it that I don't think work too well. Let's have a look,

a girl from toronto was asleep in her bed
she was completely asleep from her toes to her head

but she started to run outside in the snow
what was she crazy?

headed to the ham
as if she was running from her finals exam!

Since AkiKerosin has already gone through the poem, I thought I'd just give you my opinion on a few more points. Most of the grammar points are non-negotiable, but a couple are just my opinion, such as taking out the exclamation marks (they shouldn't be necessary) and putting speech marks round "sweetheart" and "hon'".

A girl from Toronto was asleep in her bed.
She was completely asleep, from her toes to her head,
but she started to run outside in the snow.
What was she, crazy?
I really don't know.
Where was she headed?
Headed to the Ham,
as if she were running from her finals exam.

I don't know exactly what the purpose of the line of dashes was, but I don't think it's important - just put a line break to write a new verse. I think some of the rest of the poem could do with splitting up as well.

There was a boy from the Ham, sleeping in his bed,
Sleeping so tightly,
Breathing so slightly,
That you would have thought he was dead.
Something's wrong about the rhythm here. I think you need an extra line before it, and then I'd change the line slightly:
Da-da-da-da-da
You'd have thought he was dead.
But he simply got up and started to run,
and no one could stop him once he had begun.
He ran and ran, towards T.O
as if he were running late for a show.
I'd start a new verse here - it sort of fits, writing a verse about the girl, a verse about the boy, and then a verse about both of them.

Both of them ran
like never before,
hearing their footsteps thumping the floor.
They met each other at Burlington bay.
Funny how they didn't fall astray!
I don't like this line. It sounds like you've only put it in for the rhyme.
She opened his eyes and he opened hers,
and for a minute it was all a blur,
Love this bit
but then they realized what they had done.
She called him "sweetheart";
he called her "hon'",
and, cuddled up, they lay in the snow,
each of them wondering if the other would know
'Would' know doesn't seem right, because it's future tense. To keep the rhyme and rhythm, I'd change it to 'could' know.
how much they loved each other; it was surreal;
the love they had was easy, so easy to feel.
She asked him, "Do you really love me?"
He replied, "Yup,"
and together they waited
holding hands
until the sun came up.

Hey there! =D

First of all, I like the idea of this poem. It almost holds a sort of . . . dreamlike quality to it. It has a sort of playful voice, to me, that makes it very light-hearted and imaginative.

However, a few things you should watch out for: your mechanics and your rhyme scheme.

A girl from Toronto was asleep in her bed.
She was completely asleep from her toes to her head,
but she started to run outside in the snow.
What, was she crazy?
I really don't know.
Where was she headed?
Headed to the Ham,
as if she was running from her finals exam!

Something about "was" here just irks me . . . it might be my own tendency to use "were" in this case, though. XD
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There was a boy from the Ham, sleeping in his bed,
sleeping so tightly, breathing so slightly that you would have thought he was dead!
This sentence seems a little long . . . unless you meant for "tightly" and "slightly" to go together, like . . .
Sleeping so tightly,
Breathing so slightly,
That you would have thought he was dead!

But of course, I'm not in your head, so. XD

But he simply got up and started to run,
and no one could stop him once he had begun.
He ran and ran, towards T.O
as if he was running late for a show!
Both of them ran
like never before,
"Both of them ran" seems a little left out here. Though I can see what you would be trying to do with it if you meant it to be this way.

hearing their footsteps thumping the floor.
They met each other at Burlington bay.
Funny how they didn't fall astray!
She opened his eyes and he opened hers,
and for a minute it was all a blur,
Just wanted to say this is my favorite part . . . I love the sort of play on words and double meaning you put into their waking up. =)

but then they realized what they had done.
She called him sweetheart;
he called her hun,
and, cuddled up, they lied in the snow,
each of them wondering if the other would know
how much they loved each other; it was surreal;
the love they had was easy, so easy to feel.
She asked him, "Do you really love me?"
He replied,
"Yup,"
I would put "Yup" on the same line as "he replied."
and together they waited, holding hands, until the sun came up!

Good one.I get the point of it.
There is a few to it though.

a girl from toronto was asleep in her bed
she was completely asleep from her toes to her head

what was she crazy?

where was she headed?

sleeping so tightly

noone