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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
This makes me sad, you didn't use periods ;-;
Sorry, that was off topic.
Love poems! Yay
It's simple yet really emotional, so easy for me to understand =w=
I know you did a great job on this. Why? Because my brain hasn't exploded yet.
First of all, welcome to YWS! I see you're relatively new, so I hope you enjoy this website as much as I do! If you need any help, feel free to PM me
Now onto the review!
I was absolutely awestruck by this piece of work. It's great that it's relatively mysterious, yet plain and clear at the same time... great for my tired mind right now! I loved it! I don't really have any corrections for you! I loved the oxymoron's that you used towards the beginning.
"Dying beauty"
"Sweet cruelty"
(I realize that "dying beauty" isn't necessarily an oxymoron, but we'll count it as one for now xD)
My absolute favorite stanza was when you said:
"You see hospital walls
I see shining stars
Look up at the sky
And remember my love will never die"
That was absolutely beautiful, just like the rest of this poem! Great job. Keep writing! BRAVO
I love it!!! I want to cry. :_)