Young Writers Society

Hello hello. I doubt you will see this.

So shape poetry! Love it so much. I think it's hard to form an actual image with just words, so it's really cool to see it on YWS! I don't think I've ever reviewed a shape poem honestly because they intimidate me greatly. I don't think I've ever written one successfully as well because it gets me tired very quickly. I'm not personally not one for any kind of shapes added to my poetry because it doesn't fit my style I think.

Anyway, relating to shape, I'm not exactly sure what this is? I believe it's some kind of animal of sorts, which is in tune with the entire theme. I get that it's hard to create shape poems and have them be exact to whatever you wanted to replicate, so I'm not that stressed on this, but I think that this could a little more defined - around the mouth more specifically, because there it just happens to jut out for reasons I can't place, and then around the ears because they also happen to jut out a little I think.

I see someone saying that it's a deer, so I'll just stick with that. I doubt you'll reply to this, so I guess it will forever just be a deer to me now haha. I do in fact see a deer in the shape now that I mention it to myself, but I'd say still, it's a little blurry around those key spots I mentioned, but that's probably because of the complications that come along with actually formatting concrete poetry and how it will never be spot on.

Also that last line is just beautiful. It really hits the target perfectly, that the animal being killed just for the sake of becoming a taxidermal prize is going through a lot. I think it can tie in with a lot of moral things too, if you were to look at it from the perspective that the deer stands for more than just a deer and reflects on deeper causes. It can go hand-in-hand with hunting and gun laws and stuff that's like that I think.

That's all I have for you. Happy RevMo!
-- chi

This is beautiful! I love how delicate it is, and how it's written from the deer's point of view! <3

This is absolutely fantastic! I love how you created the deer shape.
The ear did make it a but difficult. Maybe you could have the poem running from left to right, so at the start you're switching from eat to ear.

I've never been one for taxidermy myself and I often found it to be barbaric. I have to say those last lines really changed my view on it. So well done! I really enjoyed this.

This is really clever! I always love to find poetry that takes interesting shapes and formats. I really like how you made characters of the animal, taxidermist, and his wife. My favorite part is probably when you said "back into the shape of death that you had found so beautiful."

This poem provokes emotion and it's very well put together. The only thing I would really say is try to find some way of dividing the parts of the poem. While the shape is interesting, I feel a little lost in the wall of non-separated text.

Also, I'm having trouble finding how the other ear fits into the poem. I'm not really sure what advice to give you there, maybe try to find some way to make it where both the ears flow into the head and the first line of the head fits with both ears.

Anyways, it's a good poem and I'm glad you submitted it. I hope to see more like it in the future

Hi again, Moo, it's Sherri
I will admit that taxidermy kind of freaked me out before... it doesn't freak me out as much now, since you've put it into a kind of beautiful perspective. Thinking about it like this, you make it seem more like an act of respect and care for the animal, not the after-death body-sabotage I was thinking it was! So wonderful job with that!
The shape is cute, and I feel I have to give you a virtual high-five for making the poem flow so easily and naturally despite the formation.
I loved your imagery and flow, and enjoyed how detailed you were on what a taxidermist had to do to get the animal's body back to how it was before death.
I didn't see any grammar or spelling errors, so that's just about it!
Great job! I really love your work Can't wait to see what you write next!