Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
As I opened my eyes I noticed the plane landing, next to me was my dad “Wake up sleepy head” he said grinning “We’re here” “How long was I sleeping” I moaned my eyes half closed “The whole ride” he said “There was even a screaming baby back there and you were still sound asleep”. I usually sleep like a baby. “Sweetie” said my dad I absolutely hate it when he calls me that especially in public but I guess that’s dad’s they give you embarrassing little pet names. “Aren’t you going to be cold?” he asked “New York is a pretty cold place especially in the winter, it’s not like hot sunny California”. We just moved from California to New York that’s why we’re on this plane, My Dad wanted us to be closer to our relatives and coincidentally my step mother Sarah relatives live here too. “I’ll be fine, I mean come on New York can’t be that cold in winter”. All I had on was a pink tank top white Capri jeans and pink ballet flats it looked really good with my silky black hair and cocoa brown skin. “Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so” waving his fingers in warning. As we got our bags and got outside of the airport waiting at the pick-up area where my uncle was going to pick us up. Me and my little brother complaining that it was cold but then we stopped because we knew dad warned us about it. It was freezing cold I should’ve listened to my dad,why am I so stubborn and hard-headed but I had to deal with it.
Okay...well right away this paragraph is a little too chunky there. Its a bit hard to follow as well, and the ridiculous amount of info that's been crammed into it doesn't exactly help matters here. I think you need to try and see exactly how much of this can be conveyed to the reader more through this characters actions as opposed to explaining it all point by point, because as it stands this isn't the greatest of openings right here. Its a bit hard to follow and throws a little too many random details at us that we don't really care about at the moment.
My Uncle Finally came “Uncle Steve!” me and my brother called as he was waiting in open arms for us to give him a hug. I love Uncle Steve’s hugs he’s like a soft big Teddy Bear. “Hey kids” he said as he swallowed us up in his arms. “How was the plane?” he asked “It was great, I got to go into the pilot’s pit before we took off” said my 5 year old brother Nathaniel “And you Janet?” My Uncle asked me “How should I know I was asleep the whole ride” I said “I hope you got enough rest because we’re gonna have a big day tomorrow” he said “I’m going to help you guys move into your new house”. “Great” I said sarcastically.
Well that was certainly an intriguing interaction. I like this part much better than the opening here. We get a bit of a better look into this person when things aren't being quite so spelled out to us I think and on the whole it makes things just a lot better as a result. There's still a few moments where things are explained a touch too much but its a lot better here than it was at the start and its becoming a lot more interesting a result.
When we finally got our heavy suitcases in the trunk of my uncles swamp green pickup truck which was really squishy there was barely any room for the 5 of us. My dad and uncle had the most space in the front. And I was stuck in the back with Nathaniel and Sarah. I needed space I felt really cluster phobic. “Are we there yet?” I asked “Yeah we’ll be there in about… fifteen minutes” said my dad. And by fifteen minutes he means an hour since we were in traffic. Suddenly My phone vibrated it was Mary.
Mary: R U IN NEW YORK YET?
Me: Yeah but I’m crammed in the back of my Uncle’s stupid pick up truck with Nathaniel and sarah
Mary: WOW SUCKS 4 U!! G2G BYE TXT U L8TR
Well that was a rather abrupt end there. A little too abrupt I feel since it really wasn't all that much of a cliffhanger and it just kind of cuts off. The emotion is coming across a lot better now though although now there's the issue of these two characters that just end up appearing almost completely out of nowhere there. You might want to be a bit more careful about that introduction so it isn't so much of a throwaway moment. Overall, its certainly got a lot of potential here, but there's quite a few things to be ironed out in this one.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Is this supposed to be a story in the future? I mean, is this an abstract or the full version? Since I did not really get the 
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