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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Wrong Era Chapter 7: Family

by Moalex

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

No matter the situation, Cecilia always puffed her chest and laughed wholeheartedly with a bright and shining smile. There were times when she cried, and times when she got mad, but in the end, she always smiled. That was the thing Azel missed the most. Cecilia was always so strong, so optimistic and brave.

If she were here, could she still smile after this?

Never in Azel’s wildest imagination did she think something like this could happen, or that such malignity even existed. How could she? The couple seemed kind and friendly.

Whatever, nothing mattered anymore. It would be a blessing if she could just die a painless death right here and now. Sadly, not even that was an option for her.

A guard returned with one of the male slaves and tossed him into the cell. He fell flat on the floor, spazzing and twitching all over while his mouth foamed. Nobody helped him, even if they wanted to, what could they do? They were slaves in a cell with nothing but raggedy clothes. Some couldn’t even more because they were restrained with gags and a straitjacket.

The guard then walked over to Azel and lifted her by her hair.

Another day, another hour at the conveyor belt. One by one, she picked up rocks and poured magic into them, changing them into iron or steel. A boy screamed from another section of the conveyor belt to Azel’s left. The guard that monitored the boy was beating him up. From the sound of the struggle and violent tone of the child, it was obvious that he was new here. This always happened, often time with the boys, which meant only one thing. With a flash of light and the echo of gunfire, the boy’s scream of violent struggle turned into cryful pain of bloody murder. It was the usual pattern. New kids always fought back because they refused to listen, they lose a limb, they get taken away for minimum medical care, they end up with a stub, a gag, and straitjacket. Their only freedom of movement was being abused.

If there were any solace to this, the ones who received a large swollen belly were taken out of the facility, and never returned.. So far, the only ones this has happened to were girls. This made Azel glad that glad of her gender, and hoped that her belly would swell up too. That way, they would take her out just like the others and never return. Unfortunately, her wish was never answered..

“Hello beautiful,” Brad -a guard- whispered into her ear.

The ends of her hair stood up and her heart began beating so fast she could hear it in her ears. She closed her eyes, desperately hoping that she misheard him.

“I heard from Andy and the others that they had their way with you, and they told me you liked them more than me,” he huffed heavily.

Azel’s shoulders pinched and shook uncontrollably. His breath was so rancid, but if she reacted negatively, he would treat her roughly like last week. “N-no...I didn’t...say...anything,” she said meekly.

“Bullshit,” he licked Azel’s cheek, and held her side right below her armpit. It took Azel everything she had to not pull herself away from his touch, but she couldn’t do anything about the shaking. “Baby girl, you cold?” He brought his face closer to hers’, completely violating any personal space. “No worries, I’ma warm you up after your shift is over.” He slid his left hand down feeling Azel’s body and reaching into her inner thigh.

Another day of torture, another day of abuse. She couldn’t even bring herself to cry. Either she ran out of tears or her body became accustomed to being a toy despite her fears.

After Azel’s shift was over, Brad dragged her by the arm to the break room where a number of guys were also on their lunch.

“Yo, Brad’s taking Azel again!” One of the guards called out.

“Don’t break her now! We want some fun with her too!”

“Piss off you mince scrote! Azel’s mine and mine alone! If I ever catch any of you fucking with her, I’ll kill ya!” Threatened Brad. Despite the threat, everyone simply laughed and continued to eat and mess around.

Azel was taken to the back room where there were rows of beds for the guards to relieve themselves when their shift was over. There was someone already here, a woman taking advantage of a boy. The child was in tears and with wide eyes and drool running down from the side of his mouth, all while chained to the corners of the bed. His body was covered in bloody scratches, bruises, and grip marks. The woman looked over her shoulders to see who entered on her fun, “Oh, you brought Azel again,” she said.

“You're damn right I did, Jana. Azel’s the best girl out of all of them,” said Brad. “At least I don’t have to feed them pills to get my fun.”

“Oh please,” Jana moaned as she lay over the poor boy, smothering his face with her breast and moving her hips in a back and forth motion. “At least with a pill my fun lasts more than five minutes. You could probably last more than thirty seconds if you took one too.”

Brad violently slammed his fist on a wooden cabinet nearby then threw it across the floor.

Jana giggled and pulled herself off the boy and began to unchain him. As soon as she stood up, fluid dripped to the floor and some slid down her legs. She put her uniform on and carried the boy she raped over her shoulder. “I’ll leave you two alone, my fun’s over anyways.”

“Bout fucking time…” Brad grumbled and began to strip.

Azel looked away and kept her eyes shut.

“What, you scared of me?” He grabbed the back of Azel’s head and shoved her face front into the bed. He laid on top of her, spooning her and kissing her neck.

Azel gripped the bed sheets as tightly as she could. Just ignore him. Don’t think about it. He’ll just do what he always does, and it’ll be over. Just pretend nothing’s happening. You’ll be fine, everything’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay.

“Little slut, I’ll give you something to be scared about.” Brad’s weight lifted. Shortly after there was a pungent smell right in front of her nose, but Azel refused to react to whatever it was that he did. His weight pressed down on her again, and pressed his dick between her butt. “Guess what’s in front of you,” he said in Azel’s ear. He grabbed at Azel’s eyelids and forcibly opened them. It was a bit of a struggle, but a glimpse of what was in front of her made her open her eyes. There were two pieces of a teddy bear; wet, foul and moldy. Nonetheless, It was her teddy bear. The same one that the bullies tried to take from her five years ago at the orphanage.

“If you guess correctly what I did to your teddy bear, I might just give it back,” Brad teased sadistically. She can feel his hips moving back and forth now, it hadn’t gone inside of her yet, but she can feel something wet rubbing off on her rear.

There was a hole recklessly made at the teddy bear’s mouth, nose, between the stubby legs and another hole where the tail was supposed to be. Most of the cotton was gone, but there were some that were stuck to the teddy bear from moisture. She thought she was no longer able to cry, but after seeing this; tears swelled up in her eyes. She slowly shook her head side to side. That teddy bear was the only thing she had to remind her of the orphanage. It was the only thing she had that reminded her of Cecilia and Ren.

Brad cackled at Azel, “Did you guess right!?” He exclaimed. “I love you so much,” he said in a desperately creepy tone. “But the boss wouldn’t let me have you all to myself, so I had to make do with something else,” he licked the back of Azel’s ear and sucked on the nape of her neck. “And I thought, what better way to fantasize about you than the teddy bear that you so desperately clung while I took your virginity?”

“Why…” Azel whimpered and gripped the sheets. “God, why? Why, God? What did I do to deserve this?”

“Does that turn you on?” Brad continued to gloat. “I dream about you all the time! Day and night, together forever! I want you so bad!”

As if all of her senses decided to shut down all at once, Azel found herself in pitch black. The only thing she could see was her teddy bear, as well as doll mannequins that played out acts of lechery and eroticism. All the rape she suffered, she watched as the dolls did the exact same thing to her teddy bear. They violated it, just as Brad violated her. The teddy bear did nothing but succumb to its fate as all toys are supposed to. No one was here to help her this time, no one to save her as always. Nobody cared for her, she was just a toy to be played with and shared. What was the point in living? If there was some higher omnipotent being that controlled fate, why did they choose this way of life for her? Why create such malevolent people out there to commit such villainy? Was this all just a play for their joy and entertainment? If so, why would they give her this role? There was no point in this world, no point in living, no reason to push on. There was only--

“AZEL!” Brad screamed so loud that it brought Azel back to her senses. For whatever reason he was clutching the corner of the bed to stop himself from being pulled away. There was a tentacle looking creature outside of the break room door; something akin to a kraken. A kraken made from the flesh and organs of human corpses. The entire exterior looked like a human body was cut open and flipped inside out. The suckers, the tentacles, the buoyancy sack, the protective sheath, all made from various and stretched limbs and organs of the human body. It had large human eyes the size of car tires perpendicular to each other. Its mouth had human lips large enough to swallow an adult.

One look at this thing and Azel froze and she even peed herself.

The kraken tugged on Brad, but he held onto the bed for dear life. “!” He shouted. “Azel! Help me! Please!” The kraken pulled on him even harder, dragging the bed along with him.

Brad was practically at this thing’s mouth, and all he could do was beg for his life. The kraken opened its mouth and Brad begged even faster. Then, crunch! The kraken had bitten off Brad’s right calf. Brad’s scream cranked the volume up to max. The kraken continued to pull him closer and closer, taking small bites out of him as if unwrapping a chocolate bar a bit at a time.

With a last effort, Brad pulled himself up despite having lost his entire right leg, and grabbed Azel’s wrists. “If I’m going to die, then you’re coming with me,” he said weakly as blood spewed out of his mouth and onto her.

With an angry grit, she kicked Brad in the face, but he somehow still had enough strength to hold on. She kicked him again, and again, and again, and again until he finally let go. Brad was raised into the air and dropped into the Kraken’s mouth. The screaming stopped, and all that was left was the crunching of bones and chewing of flesh.

It finally happened, he was gone forever.

For whatever reason the kraken loitered in front of Azel, taking its sweet time chewing. Either way, Azel didn’t even try to flee. There were too many things going on in Azel’s head, an overflow of crazy feelings and memories stacked on top of each other and put into a blender. She had wished to leave this place one day, or to die so all the suffering would finally come to an end. Alas, an answer was finally in front of her. The rape, the labor abuse, the freezing nights, the disgusting faces of the guards, she was finally allowed to forget everything that happened here. She could leave not only this incarcerated facility, but this god forsaken world as well.

It was Azel’s turn now, and it wrapped its tentacles around her and raised her just like it did with Brad. It opened its mouth to reveal layers upon layers of sharp teeth and mouths. Bits and pieces of the people this thing ate stuck to its gum and between its teeth like popcorn. Strange enough, looking into its mouth made her remember her time in the orphanage with Cecilia and Ren. The nights when Ren read everyone bedtime stories, when they all sat down together to eat dinner, the times when Cecilia stood up to the bullies, the precious memories when she was happiest. She wanted to go back to those days. She wanted to see her friends again, she wanted to laugh and play with the ones she loved. She thought she had accepted death, but now there was this sudden surge to live. This was unfair, why now of all times? The kraken pulled her closer to its mouth, its repulsive breath heavy with iron. She started to struggle, kick her legs, and pound her fists- did whatever she could to break free; nothing worked. It was too late to pray to live.

With a deep inhale, Azel let out a final, top of the roof scream, “AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

The wall in the back of the room burst into pieces. Azel was released and dropped to the floor. The Kraken was knocked away, crashing into and destroying whatever got in its away. Clean air entered the room, as well as the sound of rustling trees. In front of her was a familiar back, shoulder, and brown Asian bob-cut hairstyle. She couldn’t believe it, how could she? After all, why and how would Cecilia even find this place?

Cecilia turned around, and the two childhood friends stared at each other.

With a smile, Cecilia said, “No worries, I’m here now.”

That short mundane line sent a wave of nostalgia. It was the exact same line she always said whenever Cecilia protected her. Even though Cecilia was right in front of her, for a brief moment, Azel swore she saw a younger Cecilia instead.

The Kraken recovered from Cecilia’s attack and returned to the room. Its eye had popped and blood flowed out of its empty socket. It screeched at Cecilia and tried to ensnare her. Cecilia picked up Azel and escaped out the hole she made in the wall.

“Catch!” Cecilia shouted, and tossed Azel up into the air.Azel screamed and flailed in the air until someone caught her and landed safely on the ground.

“You okay?” Asked Jennifer.

Chills went down Azel’s spine from how deep and ghastly this person’s voice and stiffened up. Everything was happening so quickly. It was hard to process exactly what was happening, so she just slowly nodded her head.

Jennifer put Azel on the ground and pulled out a dropper that was filled with some sort of transparent bubbly liquid. “Open up, a single drop of this and you’ll be fine.”

Azel was a bit hesitant, but this person was on Cecilia’s side She convinced herself that it was safe because they were working together. Jennifer squeezed a single drop of the content into her mouth. At first she didn’t feel anything, but a few seconds later and she started to itch all over. That was when she noticed her wounds and bruises closing up and returning to her original skin color. All of the numbness, all of the soreness, all the aches and pains that dug into her body faded away as if they were peeled off like an annoying sticker. Her mind felt like it had molted and reborn anew.

“Wha…?” Azel exclaimed. “What...what was that?”

Without any hesitation whatsoever, Jennifer said, “Cecilia’s Saliva.”

Azel nearly choked on air, from that answer. She would have too, if Cecilia hadn’t made a ground trembling appearance. The Kraken crashed into the ground completely limp. Cecilia stood atop its body with a slave in her arms. With a bright smile, straight back, and absolute radiance, she let out a victorious burst of laughter.

“No worries everyone! I got you!!” And proudly laughed.

Despite their distance being no more than twenty yards away, Azel couldn’t help but feel Cecilia was so far out of reach. Azel knew Cecilia wasn’t doing this for her, not because they were childhood friends, but because that’s how she’s always been. Cecilia sought out evil, countless wrongs, and fought them head on. Cecilia was never afraid, she never backed down, she never faltered.

Meanwhile, here she was, a victim of rape and a rescuee. Compared to someone so pure, strong, and confident. All Azel could see in herself was a used product to be passed around. She was an embarrassment, a waste, and a failure.

Cecilia and Jennifer took the rescuees to a transport ship where they would be delivered to Fortissimum Magia. There, the government would happen the paperwork and search for the slaves who were kidnapped. As for the others, it was meaningless to return them to their guardian, especially if it was the guardians that sold them in the first place. So, Fortissimum Magia would be their new home.

Azel wanted to go with Cecilia, it was where she felt safest. It’s where all of her pessimistic thoughts washed away. At the same time, she knew all too well that she’d only get in the way. What Cecilia did today was completely out of this world to Azel. It was impossible for Azel to replicate even a fraction of it.

Cecilia cheerfully called out to Azel and tapped on her shoulder.

She turned around to face the merry Cecilia.

“Did you really think I’d leave without seeing you off?”

Azel couldn’t even bring herself to speak. She shriveled up and kept her face at the ground.

“I know you must be traumatized by everything that happened. My regeneration magic isn’t that amazing. At best, it’ll only make everything you felt go away.”

Azel nodded and held her left arm with her right. Cecilia was right, everything that she felt in the past year really did go away. It was almost like a dream, but it’s because it felt like a dream that it hurt the most. The memories lingered no matter how much she wanted to forget. It’s almost like watching a horror movie using a hologen and suddenly shutting the device off.

“Why did you save me?” Azel squeaked. She hugged herself, trying to keep her shoulders from shaking. “After everything that happened, it would have been better if I died. I don’t want to live with these memories! I was so happy when I was adopted! I thought I finally had a family. I thought I finally had something that you had. Then all of this happened.” Azel broke down to her knees and covered her face with her hands.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Cecilia brought herself down to eye level with Azel to hug and brushed her with her hand. “I heard you call for help.”

“I didn’t cry for help!” That was a half-lie. She didn’t exactly scream for help, she screamed, just screamed. She wanted to pull herself away from Cecilia, but her body melted in Cecilia’s embrace.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Cecilia said as she tightened her hug.

“We’ll see each other again, right?”

“Obviously!” Cecilia said, almost laughing.



On the ship, everything that they had been deprived of, was preset for them on the ship; warm cozy bed, hot, delicious food, clean water, their own separate rooms, and most importantly; safety. From their location, the ship would take two weeks before they reached the school. At that time, the rescuees were informed of what they should expect when they dorm there. From the orientation, everything sounded like paradise. A scheduled school system with food, private dormitory, friends, and free time after classes were over. A typical school life that wasn’t available back at the orphanage. Although the biggest influence for a school life was because of Ren since he was always such a study bug. Speaking of Ren, Azel was in awe when the orientation brought up the Ten Commandment rank system. At the very top of the list, the number one student was Cecilia Asa. Followed behind her was Ren, then a list of other people’s names.

At first nobody noticed that their savior sat at the top of The Ten Commandments. A second look was all they needed to make them go crazy. The ride to the school got rowdy when they learned that Ren was Cecilia’s older brother. There was even gossip between everyone on the ship about starting a club at the school dedicated to Cecilia. It was one rumor after another with all of the kids.

The peaceful cruise gave everyone time to ease their painful memories. Although it wasn’t immediate, it was still two weeks worth to learn how to trust another, and get over their fears. Those who were more traumatized than others were given a drink called FeelSGood to help calm their traumatic behaviors. For Azel, she drank a week and four days of FeelSGood before she finally stopped screaming whenever she slept. The remaining three days, she used it to think about how she would approach Ren. it was one thing to be rescued by Cecilia, but for Ren to know that she was a victim of rape and work labor. All she could imagine was Ren’s look of disgust at her. She could already imagine the words that left his mouth when she appeared in front of him, “Can you not violate the air with your revolting body?” It tore her heart asunder, but she also knew Ren wasn’t like that. Both of the Asa siblings weren’t like that, they were both accepting and kind-hearted.

Azel asked the ship captain if she could make a special request to meet with Ren immediately after they landed. She also requested the meeting with Ren to be a secret. The ship captain told her that the principal (Prof. Kamui) of the school would do what he could. For the second request, by Prof. Kamui’s words, Ren was an incredibly intelligent boy so the principal could not make any promises.

For the most part, Prof. Kamui seemed to have been able to grant Azel’s request. When she met with him at the dock, he told her that Ren got a bit skeptical when he asked Ren if he knew anyone by the name of Azel. It was a close call, but luckily there was a girl that constantly nagged Ren and took his attention off the matter at hand. Then again, this was Ren they spoke about. He most likely have guessed or deduced that she was on board.Prof. Kamui also told Azel that Ren had just finished numerous fights in the arena today and retired to his dorm to recuperate. Despite all odds stacked against him, Ren took down everyone that challenged him for his seat in the Ten Commandments.

Prof. Kamui took his leave as soon as he dropped Azel off in front of Ren’s room. It was difficult for her to breathe, and she fiddled with her thumb as she stared at the base of Ren’s door. Although she made this special request, she wanted nothing more than to disappear and join the rest of the rescuees. Just when she was about to leave the door opened up. In front of her now was a much, much taller Ren; by about an entire foot and a half. He was not this tall from last she remembered.

“Azel” He exclaimed, and held her tightly. "Where have you been? We never heard from you since the couple adopted you!"

She began to sweat profusely. “H... h.. h... ho... how did you know I was out here?”

“I got a message just now that I had a visitor. Which I thought was weird because I didn’t hear anyone ring the doorbell. I thought I might have missed the doorbell because I was in the shower.”

Azel’s mind was all over the place because their bodies were touching. There was internal conflict, she wanted to push him away for personal space because she hadn't completely recovered from the trauma but at the same time she liked the way he held her in a protective and fatherly way.

“Are you okay? Your face is really flushed and sweaty. Are you sick?” Asked Ren. He gently brushed her bangs aside and placed his hand over her forehead. More nostalgic feelings traversed her mind, he did the exact same thing he always did back at the orphanage whenever she fell ill. Despite the calluses on his hands that tickled her skin, and bandages on his fingers, she couldn’t help but coddle in Ren’s gentle touch. All she could do was stare forward as her attention was absorbed into his brown eyes that looked at her with worry.


“Yes?” She snapped.

“Is everything okay?” Ren asked again.

No, everything was not okay, but she didn’t want to talk about it. 

“I’m fine,” she lied.

“I see,” he said suspiciously. “Well, when you feel you can talk about it, you’re free to come to me like always. Are you hungry? I made a little too much last night, and I have some leftovers.” He went to the kitchen and returned with some paella.

Yes, it wasn’t just Azel’s imagination. His behavior, his articulation, even his cooking habit, it’s as if a day hadn’t gone by since they left the orphanage. Cecilia was always a huge glutton because of her daily exercises, so Ren always had to make food to fill her belly. Since Cecilia’s bottomless pit was unpredictable, Ren always ended up with leftovers, and she loved eating his food with him at the dinner table.

Azel threw herself forward and held him tightly. The tupperware with the paella in it that Ren held was perfectly on her head.

“Wait…Please, let me stay like this.”

Memories of her time in the orphanage with the Asa siblings slowly returned as she attached herself to Ren. Everyday was a roller coaster with Cecilia as her playmate, and Ren’s ever changing activities. She was glad, the more time she spent with the Asa siblings, the more time she spent with Ren, the more her memories as a slave burned away.

Unfortunately, her blissful moment was short-lived. “You’re having an affair?!” Amy appeared behind the door.

“Oh no…” Ren said wearily.

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Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:28 pm
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Carlito wrote a review...

Hello! It's about time we got this chapter out of the green room, don't you think? :)
I apologize that I haven't read the previous installments of this story, so I'll be looking at it as a part of a greater whole.

This was darker than I anticipated! Weirdly, I thought the first chunk was pretty good. When you were describing the factory and the way the workers abused the kids, while it was really disturbing and uncomfortable, I thought there was a nice balance. It didn't feel pornographic or like you were being overly descriptive of the abuse. I thought you did a nice job of showing how beaten down the kids were and how much this treatment was impacting them. (Like describing how the girls with swollen bellies go away, and she wished for that so she could go away, not realizing that that meant and what her fate would likely be).

I was on board with the Kraken stuff. It felt a little like okay where did this come from (are Kraken's common in this world?) but I was also like okay this is fantasy and it's saving the girl so whatever. Once Cecilia came, it broke for me. I thought the remainder of the chapter went way too fast and because way too tell-y.

I think you have enough here that you could have ended the chapter when Cecilia came to save her. Where is that woman who just abused the boy? Where are all the other abusive adults? Did the Kraken get them too or are they just sitting by and watching this happen?

I think Cecilia rescuing them could be a whole chapter by itself. How many kids does she have to rescue? How does she do it? Where are the rest of the abusive adults? Are any of the kids scared and are afraid to go with her? Does Azel help her.

The ship could be it's own chapter. Coming back to the school could be its own chapter. You catch my drift :) Expand all of this out more and show us all of these moments in the same way you showed that opening scene.

Overall, I think you have an intriguing concept and a lot of interesting components to work with, I would just like more time spent on each moment. Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention! :D

Moalex says...

Hi Carlito! Thanks for the review and getting it out of the green room. I absolutely understand what you mean by expanding the moments, and separating the chapter to create development.
The thing about this story in particular is that I wrote it specifically for a quick run-down of major events that occurred in the main/sub character's lives. For the sake of brevity, this chapter goes over what happened to Azel after she was supposedly adopted and why she behaves the way she does in the original story where she is eight years older (18 years old.)
I get your drift, it would definitely make for a better story, but the purpose isn't to stretch it out for a single character. Although it does sound like it could be a really good fill-in as a short story in the case it ever takes off.
Regarding questions or feedbacks, I would like an honest opinion as to whether the chapter was any good at all/interesting, and how you measure me as a writer after reading one of my works. I'd really appreciate it, thank you!

Moalex says...

*Ah, I forgot to mention. This story is a prequel to another.

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Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:05 pm
Dreamy wrote a review...

haha, that is one way to end a chapter.

Hello! I am here! I didn't realise you have posted a chapter. Anyway, it was a bit lengthy but interesting to read. Still lengthy though. But I understand why it had to be that way. This wouldn't read good if it was chopped to two.

First, let's talk typos:

This made Azel glad that glad of her gender,

This made Azel glad of her gender.

Either she ran out of tears or her body became accustomed to being a toy despite her fears.

The previous sentence mentioned that she couldn't cry anymore so this sentence that follows is conflicting. I'd suggest you to take out the "either' and rewrite the sentence as, " She ran out of tears and her body became accustomed to being toyed with despite her fears."

She thought she was no longer able to cry,

She thought she could no longer cry. ????

“If I’m going to die, then you’re coming with me,” he said weakly as blood spewed out of his mouth and onto her.

See here, the dialogue and the fact that he can say the words so clearly after having his legs eaten by a monster is quite unbelievable. (yes, that is the only unbelievable thing in this story, lol) How about you introduce dramatic effects here? Maybe a curse because she's obviously not going to help him. I mean, she obviously won't help him, we know that, he knows that. So a curse would work much better here. Or the same sentence with too many pauses? It'd be even more dramatic if it were incomplete, yea?

was preset for them on the ship

I really thought this was a typo till it hit me. >.>

I didn't realise the length of the chapter when I was reading but noticed when I scrolling up and down to quote. So that's a good thing, right? I was also worried about the information of how Azel meeting with Ren was orchestrated. It was readable but I had this nagging voice in my head that kept saying, "it's telling not showing" over and over again. Especially the narration with the ship's captain. It reads like a reported speech that you see in investigating files. But I also believe this works? I'm having a debate with myself. Practically, I can see that it's working to an extent but critically, I want you to refine that particular part. I'm indecisive here, I know. I'll just leave it you. You decide what you want to do because at the end of the day you're the creator, you should have the final decision. :)

Otherwise, as always, wonderful read. I like this new character. Maybe it's because she doesn't have any powers but she feels more real. Keep up the good work, Moalex!

Keep writing!

Cheers! :D

Moalex says...

Hi Dreamy! Thanks for the review! Will try to fix it up a bit more so that its more smoothed out. Particularly more on the "It's telling now showing," part. Hopefully I'll find a better way to show it.

Dreamy says...

You are very welcome! :)

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Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:34 pm
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Moalex says...

Thank you!

Change isn't inherently good, but you can't stop it, so let's just enjoy the ride. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
— TheSilverFox