To Serve Him

by Missp0et210

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published March 28, 2011

To Serve Him

To serve you O God tis not religion
Tis everlasting life

To serve you my Lord tis not slavery
Tis freedom from the chains

To serve you my Father in heaven tis not poverty
But inheritance of the greatest riches from the heavens above

Comments & reviews · 4
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HelloKitty87
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HelloKitty87 commented Comment · Mar 29, 2011

awwww so beautiful. good job :)

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HelloKitty87
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HelloKitty87 commented Comment · Mar 29, 2011

awwww so beautiful. good job :)

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XxMattxX
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XxMattxX wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2011

Hello, I'm Jojo and I shall be your reviewer for today!
edits are in red.

To Serve Him

To serve you, O God 'tis not religion.
'Tis everlasting life,

To serve you, my Lord 'tis not slavery,
'Tis freedom from the chains.

To serve you, my Father in heaven 'tis not poverty,
But inheritance of the greatest riches from the heavens above.


* All I can see is that you need you improve the overall punctuation of the poem. It's nice and snippy, but all of the "Tis"'s need apostrophes and the sentences need to be punctuated.

Overall:
I REALLY love this- and it's full of truth.
but it's waay too short.

Can you add on to this ?
(please)

Keep Writing
----------------------
-Jojo



Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
— Sir James Dewar, Scientist