I think I have a people problem
That is what it seems
Some people make me angry
Some make me want to scream
*~*
I'm not too fond of speaking with them
Whether they're nice or mean
But if somebody annoys me
I'll kick them in the spleen!
*~*
I don't like the kids on my street
I don't like solicitors who sell me food
And if you want to get to know me
I'll probably dislike you too
*~*
But I suppose that it's not personal
And I know it's me, not you
But please, oh please, stay out of my way
This poem is over, now shoo!
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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
What I really like about this poem is that its relatable and simple, without being overly deep and emotional. The word choice in it is pretty good, because each stanza has its own small tale that overall leads into the bigger poem. The one thing I am not sure about is if this poem is supposed to have rhythm or not. At first I somewhat noticed some patterns forming but then they all went away. It's fine if it doesn't, but if you add iambic pentamer (ABABABA) to it, it would show the mood a little bit more while also presenting the message.
Correction: iambic pentameter has nothing to do with the rhyme scheme. Though sometimes, iambic pentameter is present with a specific rhyme scheme for a certain breed of poem. However, the phrase must be broken down: "iambic" refers to a foot of two syllables, with the first unstressed and the second stressed as in "we went," "I am," or "submit"; "pentameter" refers to meter with there being five feet per line. For example, "I hear the hound; I hate his sound, his bark"--this is iambic pentameter. It has nothing to do with rhyme scheme. I am sorry to admonish you openly, but I think other people should be able to see the correction. I hope I did not get on your bad side. I was not trying to be mean but to uphold the standard. Nonetheless, I agree: giving the poem a more definite form would help. Such structure usually helps and does not diminish poetry.
This poem is the best. Honestly.
I don't think you could have chosen a better title, it does the poem complete justice. It captures the attention and makes you want to read more. Well done!
I also want to mention how relatable this poem is. To me, at least. Once I got through the first stanza I kept thinking, "This is totally me." Not that I particularly hate people. I just might have a slight problem with them.
Maybe that's why I liked this poem so much, because it seems like something I would write or at least think about. Well--I do think like this. On a regular basis. But that's besides the point.
Overall, this poem was great. There were not any grammar mistakes that I am aware of and it flows well and has a great amount of humor as well. (Of course, I was probably nodding my head in agreement more than snickering silently to myself. But that's just me.)
Nice job! I hope to read more from you!
This is a cute and funny poem. I like reading a poem that's not all serious sometimes. The title is really good too. I'm not good at punctuation and that kind of stuff so I can't really review on that. But I loved reading this. Keep up the good work.
~Lauren
The title of this poem is creative and it's a cute concept. However, it feels very... childish. I hope that's what you were going for.
The rhyming is a little too forced for my liking and the lack of punctuation is frustrating.
The part about kicking in the spleen made me laugh. As a nurse, I know it's pretty darn difficult to kick someone in the spleen! It's one of those organs that's hidden away underneath a lot of other organs and fat. The way the poem ends is kind of tacky but funny. Overall, not my favourite style of poem but very light-hearted - good poem for kids, I would say.