I like this a lot. It’s just out there enough to keep my attention lol
‘Built’ is genius.
Th only critique I can give is that there should be a comma between ‘earth’ and ‘the atmosphere.’
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" Today, I encountered humans for the first time, and I learned that if you do not wear the right textiles you may be called a shower curtain, rug, and/or freak. "
As I finally get used to walking on the hard paved floor of the built, my path crosses the sandy beach. Unlike the other surfaces I've walked on, this one gives way beneath my feet, and I slip to the ground. Although some sand sticks to my plastery skin, it's nothing like the way it clung to my liquid filmed body before, and I must admit that the sensation of sand simply sliding off of me is... Unsettling. I do not think I will record this particular event in my logs. My beautiful textiles coated with sand, I struggle to get to my feet and continue walking-- The humans are in range of my visual organs now.
These humans look different than the sleeping one inside the built-- I notice that their faces have more detailed features-- Instead of indents and protrusions, they have well-defined shapes with colors. Their visual organs seem to have colors in the middle, and they have little sheilds that flap open and shut to protect them. Inspecting the rest of their bodies, I notice that my hard, plastery exterior is different as well, as these humans have a strange, slightly burnt color epiderma, and it looks almost soft. The last thing I note is the strange long fur on top of their heads-- Why do they not have fur elsewhere? Would that not be more efficient?
I hesitate for a moment. Perhaps I have taken the wrong form? I shake the thought off, along with some remaining sand, confident that this must be the right one-- I made sure to copy the pale human exactly. Unphased, I wander toward the group.
They look up as I draw closer, a few of them scattering. They seem startled. "Hi. I am the Bob. May we be earth friends? Do you wish to shake my limb?" I reach towards them, and they scatter further along the beach. They really must be startled! "Come back, do not startle! I am the Bob! I am earth friend!" One of them removes its foot protector and tosses it at my head-- another part of my experience I may omit from today's log.
"Go away freak!" They chorus. "What are you? What's wrong with its face? What's it wearing? Is that a rug? I think it has shower curtains!" I look down, slightly ashamed; I have chosen the wrong textiles. Is my face not like theirs? I stare at them, contemplating what is different, and wonder if sleeping humans, like the one I took the form of, look different from waking ones. Whatever the reason for their reaction, I know that I need to change myself to look more like this band of humans.
I must seek shelter and reevaluate my attire, so I return to the built. I will have to log this event, after I find the right textiles. I took a very good look at the humanoids' textiles; they wore short, brightly colored-- but not floral-- textiles that exposed much skin. The upper textileswere frilly, barely extending to the abdomen, and were held on by extremely slender strips of cloth. The lower textiles were similar in style. Yes, my textiles are very much the wrong ones. I must find ones like theirs. They have long head fur, and I have none, perhaps I should meet them in the middle to conserve energy. And I must change my face to be like theirs, as well as the texture of my epidermis.
Once I get inside the built, I sit down to concentrate. I've already changed form once today, and I'm starting to get tired from all that energy being expended, but I think I can manage the changes I need to make. First off, I add the head fur I saw on the humans on the beach. Growing the hair is more difficult than it would seem, taking considerable strain for every folical that grows, making me glad I decided on shorter fur, the coloration I decided on is the brightest one I saw. A copper tone almost red, auburn I believe? Next, I reform my facial features to match theirs more closely, adding the sheilds to my eyes and changing the shape of my nose. Finally, I decide to add color to my eyes and skin, burning the epidermis a much deeper shade, and turning the middles of my eyes brown. I remember that their bodies were smaller and differently shaped than the one I had adopted, but I was already too weary from the other adjustments to make such a drastic change.
I scavenge through the textiles like a hungry Martian until i find ones styled as those on the beach. I struggle to put them on exactly the way the humanoids had them, but it takes expirimentation with several sizes of textiles beforeI find ones that fit my form as the wrapping clothes fit theirs. I am much broader than them through the shoulders, and my waist is not as narrow. Furthermore, my half shirt has slack where theirs were tightly conformed. Yet I still find the outfit more pleasing than my earlier attire.
I sit on the floor surface of the built, deciding what indeed I will include in my log. I reafirm my earlier thoughts-- my readers do not need to be aware of the fact that I toppled over and got sand in my face. Or that the humans threw things at me. I smile drowsily, musing over the events of the day,and begin to write.
'Earthling Interactions; Day One; Entry Log One:
Today, I encountered humans for the first time, and I learned that if you do not wear the right textiles you may be called a shower curtain, rug, and/or freak. I have learned that humanoids are great at sprinting on unstable landforms and that they wear cropped cloths. I learned to never take the form of a sleeping human, as it is not well recieved. I have learned that being a human takes energy, more than other any form I've taken.
P.S: Always take a sturdy vessel on trips to earth the atmosphere is harzardous, and make sure you have artificial gravity installed. Otherwise, fear for your sustinance, as it will attempt to escape your stomach cavity.
Side Note: Building is an impractical name. I shall call them builts to preserve practicallity.'
I like this a lot. It’s just out there enough to keep my attention lol
‘Built’ is genius.
Th only critique I can give is that there should be a comma between ‘earth’ and ‘the atmosphere.’
Hey! Flames here to drop off a review for you! Also I don't believe I've ever reviewed any of your works, so I thought this one would be the best to start on, being I've already read chapter one, which by the way was really good, it got a lot of laughs out of me.
Anyway lets start.
So I can see you have explains what Bob looks like in this chapter, the other one when I read it I wasn't sure what he had turned into, but now I do, and I can't help laugh, but also feel sorry for the guy.
I also love his personality! Its just so easy to like him, I love the way his all confused when he goes to the humans, and talks to them, and he things sleeping once are different to awake once. XD That one had me laughing atone.
Oh another thing is that I loved how you manages to describe his alien form, in a very normal way, I just loved that.
I also just love how he makes the P.S Note at the end of the chapter, that was a great way to wrap it all up and get us ready for the next chapter. Just perfect.
One this that has been poking me from the last chapter is how does Bob know how to talk the human language? That something that I think could be addressed and explained in some way in the up coming chapters.
Anyway that all from me, I hope the next chapter will be posted soon, because I can't wait to see what Bob does next in his knew human form. Lol if you could call the last one Human.
I hope you have a great day or night gays!
Your friend and faithful reader.
FlamingPhoenix!
Reviewing with a fiery passion!
This is very good. You really cough the sense of how an alien might veiw humans. This peice was well writen.
If aliens exsisted, I think this peice is similar to how they would veiw Earth.
I was confused at 'sheilds'. After having read that Bob had used the word 'eye' I am thinking they were 1. eyelids or 2 glasses. I am thinking now, after having read this, that they are glasses.
I was confusd at when you were discribing cloths. You said 'frilly'. From reading this peice it seemed like Bob was at the beach. Were they swinsuits?
Keep writing! This peice was great.
Hey!
This chapter was really funny. The way Bob is trying to adapt with the surroundings with so much struggles is quite amusing. Though I was feeling pity for him but still I could not contain my laughter while reading the thoughts he had when he first went in between the humans. I was trying to imagine his weird mannequin look that freaked out everyone on the beach.
One of them removes its foot protector and tosses it at my head-- another part of my experience I may omit from today's log.
Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.
Just realized that you and @EthanHoover are writing this together. Cool.
Nit-picks
(earth) should have a capital E and harzardous should be hazardous.Always take a sturdy vessel on trips to earth the atmosphere is harzardous,
The plot behind this is something new to me. I read the first chapter, so i have an idea of what to look for. The turns from journal style to what's happening is neatly done.
The "P.S" and "Side Note" were a nice touch to my experience. It adds to the feeling you gave last chapter. I love that fact that humans are uncommon and that normal things are scarce and hard to find.
~S.M.Locke~
Chapter One of this book.
Earthlings for Dummies - Chapter 1: How Easy it Is to be Human
Points: 303
Reviews: 48
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