Published June 2, 2013
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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hey I'm going to review your poem!
I think your poem is very sweet and innocent. Everyone can relate to your poem because we've all felt this way at some point in our lives. I noticed that in some parts of your poem you rhymed and in others you stopped. I think if your going to rhyme continue rhyming until the end of the poem just so it continues to flow. I think you added some more imagery it would create more emotion and make this poem even better. There was a grammar mistake "I wish I could of told you" it should be "I wish I could have told you.". Other then that I really liked your poem and I'm excited to read more of your writings! Keep writing!
(sorry the first one submitted itself before i was done
)
) Roxy here to review! 
hi there mindblown (awesome name btw!!
This is such a sweet poem! A very innocent type of love, just lovely!
But I do think that you should either stick to a rhyming scheme or scrap it all together, Im just not a big fan of the mishmash of both! You have such a good thing going at the start of your stanzas and then by the forth line, you have abandoned it! But I think that you should run with the rhyming, I know you can do it!!
anyway, congrats and welcome to YWS!!
Keep up the good work!
Roxy!
hi there mindblown (awesome name btw!!
) Roxy here to review! 
This is such a sweet poem! A very innocent type of love, just lovely!
But I do think that you should either stick to a rhyming scheme or scrap it all together, Im just not a big fan of the mishmash of both
Wow! Niiiiiiiiiiice work MindBlown! I'm totally mindblown! XD
-Neon.
Well, this was creative and a nice poem!
Happy writing!
I really like this poem, just because I feel everyone at some point has fancied someone who you are actually friends with, or who is at least kind to you and that you hope might like you back.
The poem itself is very easy to read and flows very nicely. The only thing I could say to improve it is to fix some of the capital letters at the start of sentences when the previous line ends with a comma; but apart from that that's it really.
Simple but lovely poem
That is really not necessary, it's an out dated style. I used to say the same XD
Up to the writer how they wanna do it really...
Hello there MindBlown!
Well asI told you earlier, I really love this poem and feel that it really potrays your peron deeply and with powerful emotion.The second to last stanza made me cry, just a little.I can really relate to this because I too feel the same way about my crush, kind of ntrapped in an endless game where all I wanna do is scream " I LIKE YOU" and the know he likes me and everyone is happy. I wish!
But I really did like this poem and my favorite stanza was the last one.
Keep it up
~Kat
I absolutely love this poem! I can totally relate to it, and I bet you if I showed this poem to some of my friends at school, they would nod and say, "This shows my feelings exactly!" I love how it goes from 4th grade to seventh, and how the narrator seems frustrated and helpless and in love all at the same time. It's so cute! ^-^
Again, I love it!!!
-- Wonder
I really, really liked this! It flowed nicely and I like the story that was told, no offence to you, it's relatable, which is good!
favorite stanza:
"It started when I saw your face,
Then my heart quickened pace,
Those memories leave a smile,
I wish I could of told you."
I feel this way whenever I see my crush, and I love the feeling it portrays. I think it's awesome what you did with the last two lines of that stanza as well.
Hi, MindBlown!
This is a great piece. My favorite stanza is the third, and my favorite lines were the first two in the fourth stanza. It shows the uncertainty of the situation of liking someone and not knowing if they like you back well, and sticks fairly well to its rhythm. I only have a few nitpicks. The rhymes are very easy, which is absolutely fine, but you might want to elevate it some, as it would increase the potential of your piece greatly. You also don't have to capitalize each line. As long as you have punctuation, you can do whatever you want with the piece. Some poets don't even make use of punctuation at all. It's a stylistic choice, and I just want to bring this to your attention. One more thing. In the second stanza, you write, "I wish I could of told you," when it should be "I wish I could have told you."
This has great potential and I'll be looking forward to reading more from you! Keep writing!
~ Rocky
*Nook
It touches my soul!
Thank you