Fondly, Ever After

The opening sentence grabs your attention. It makes you think 'what is she/he hiding from?'. I can't seem to make sense of the 'love' and the 'honey'. I'm assuming that they were put there for effect and to gives clues of the context, but I think you could have done it in another way.

The use of the word 'deity' seems as if it were picked out and you wanted to use that word, and that you wanted it in there because you liked it. Thats how it seems, like StoryWeaver said it seems a little bold, and out of place for describing a love for someone.

I'm going to assume that this is aimed at a couple and how their love never dies, I'm assuming. Though I think to help describe it better you could have used similie's or metaphors to help describe their love. It also seems a little disjointed, and it doesn't flow very well, it seems to jump about.

However it's a nice piece of writing and I hope to see more

- Skyy

Hi :3
I have a few things I'd like to share with you. First off, the question on the " Our name" Do you intend it to be talking about yourself and about how when you grow old that you would get old timers? If so than yes, our would be great. If that is not your intention, you should change it to your.
Now, a big no no in the poetry. You are way too broad in your metaphor's. Examples:
"...Like the deity I always saw you as." What deity are you referring too? What makes them god like to you but not to others? What proves them to be like a god or god like features?
"I can keep reminder's like a temple in my mind." What reminder's? How would you keep them in your mind that would cause them to be like a temple? Are they facts or memories? Whats the point in keeping them? Is there any significant meaning?
"... never just love, but a salvation." What love? What are you referring too? Are you talking about the love a brother and sister have or a love that two lover's would have? Could it possibly be a salvation like in the bible? Or do you have a different meaning of a salvation that you want us to know about?
These are all questions I would ask while reading this poem, yes it is a nice poem and all but the metaphor's are way too broad. One way to fix them is like this... Example:
"My love for you is as grand as the star's." (Too broad version)
"My love is like a bear in a deep green forest, posed by the strike of the bow that lays within Orion's Belt." (Specific Version)
That is a great way to be specific and poetic at the same time. Other than that you are a good writer, just work on the flow between the verses a little more. By fixing the metaphor's the flow between the sentences will get better. Thanks,
~Whitewolfpuppy

"I am wonderful at hiding it, aren't I? You'll never see it again, love. But I'll feel it until I'm old and I've forgotten our [[your?]] name."

Well, this was alright, although the whole thing to me felt...exaggerated, maybe. Perhaps for me, calling someone I love a "deity" just seems a little bold, lol, but that's also likely do to personal preference. In any case, I think it would've been nice in a case like this to get a better glimpse at the type of relationship they had; it doesn't have to become a story, but throw in little hints at memories and inside jokes, or give us a glimpse of what the relationship was like in some way. It's just lacking insight thus far, and it makes it hard for the reader to care about the individuals.

This certainly wasn't bad, I just would've liked to see a little more depth. Hope this helps, and keep writing!