There's a fire flaring up,
I can no longer keep it in,
Burning down my tolerance,
I can no longer keep it in,
The flames flicker and dance,
I can no longer keep it in,
My spirit's chains are melting,
I can no longer keep it in,
They don't deserve my mercy,
I can no longer keep it in,
They stoked this fire in me,
I can no longer keep it in,
So they can burn with me,
I can no longer keep it in,
So I let it out.
It's all gone and I feel better,
But so much worse,
The hearth is cold and the coals burnt out,
Yet I feel worse,
I thought revenge would be sweet,
Yet I feel worse,
They deserved this-they caused this,
Yet I feel worse,
Alone- free from torment,
Yet I feel worse,
There's no-one here to stoke the flames,
Yet I feel worse,
Thought freeing it would end the cycle,
Yet I feel worse,
Thought letting it go would set me free,
Yet I feel worse,
The red haze is lifted,
Yet I feel worse,
The blood on my knuckles,
Yet I feel worse,
The fear in their eyes,
Yet I feel worse,
They caused this yet I'm condemned,
And I feel worse.
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140,145 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Wow, great poem! I like how you repeated the lines there, it just adds to the feeling of building rage and then the cold feeling when it finally releases. "The fear in their eyes," I like that line the most, it that kind of line that makes you realize that everyone else is against you when you feel like your in the right! Keep it up!
Hey Scrublord...Shakthi is here for a short review...
First of all a cool (yeah it's not warm) welcome to YWS...I assure you that you'll be glad on being here..!
Yeah, coming back to the review... I should say this. Your work is JUST AWESOME..! I can feel the maturity in your words. The theme behind your cute poem, describes the human nature in a more maured way. The good part is that you can describe the scenario too well. The flow of words keeps your work lively.
And, what i can suggest is...just KEEP UP YOUR GOOD WORK AND MAKE IT BETTER DAY BY DAY".
All the best and Happy writing friend..! Once again a happy welcome.
Awaiting your future works...
Wow! I could really feel the rage at the beginning of the piece. I wasn't really prepared for the heartbreaking turn that it took. When it started in on the 'Yet I feel worse' section, I felt this deep sinking feeling in my stomach. I've definitely been in this position before where you feel like nothing you do is right, and you always feel like you're in the wrong. I really love the use of the word condemned here. It really makes the ending impact that much harder on the reader.
I don't see any grammar or spelling mistakes at this time. Great job! Keep up the good work!