Yellow Flower

Beautiful!
I just have one suggestion: I think you should write "Yells her daddy, who was once kind" rather than "Her once kind daddy yells"

But the writing was amazing with a good emotional effect. Keep it up!

Hello lovely,

Your piece was really good, and I think the fact that it's short makes all that much better because you notice the little things a little better. The emotion in the piece is great, but I do have a few nitpicks.

I think you need to explain this part a little more:

"Goodbye mommy, goodbye daddy, I once loved you, long before the monster joined our family" she whispers, knowing no one is listening.

I think you're talking about the pills, but I'm not sure what exactly the monster is. I think if you put some kinda detailing to the monster it would explain to your readers what the monster is.

Also in this paragraph:

Screaming her name he drops beside her. Daddy's sweet little girl is no more. He looks at her face, touching it gently, hoping maybe she'll open her eyes. Of course she won't. She's dead.

I personally think you should get rid of the last sentence. The "she's dead" part. You already told us she was dead, so it doesn't seem necessary to say again. I also feel that it leaves a more haunting effect that way.

Those are my little nitpicks, and I'm sorry if they may of come off harsh and petty. It's been a little while since I've done a review and I'm just a tad bit rusty. XD But I do really like this piece, you did a great job.

A great little emotional flash fiction!

So, no nitpicking for me since I don't normally do that and other people have already done that.

Here are the good things;
Your voice was great, childish. The child-like diction and descriptions added on to the sympathy and the whole realism of the situation.
Although it was short, somehow you were able to build up the situation enough that when I finished the story, I had chills.
The description was great, maybe a little lacking, but it painted an image and the character's perspective only added onto that image.

Here are the things I'd try to improve upon;
Although the language was childish, and it was good for that perspective, perhaps try to mix it up a little, add a bit more eloquence to the situation, making it more dirge-like.
The actual narrative point of view was a little disorienting for me, so maybe try to narrow in with that(although that may just be my thick-headedness).

Other than that, it was actually really good. Very emotional and short, that's a good sign for a writer I think, being able to build up that kind of emotion in such a short time span and leave a reader chilled and stupefied. Keep up the good writing!

Hello, there! Sarah here to review for ya.

Nitpicks:
"You're useless, women!" I'm not quite sure if this is plural or singular, but it seems singular, therefore it should be 'woman'. Next!
"No need to hit me no, mommy, I'm leaving you so I won't disappoint you anymore" This was just a spelling and punctuation error, I'm assuming. "-now, mommy." It should be split into two sentences. "I'm leaving so I won't disappoint you anymore." Missing period at the end of that.
"-long before the monster joined our family" Missing period there as well.
"Swallowing them like candy, she falls onto her back and grins at the sky, there is no more pain." 'There is no more pain.' should be a separate sentence.
"A few hours later, her mommy and daddy go looking for her. Wanting to know where their sweer angel went." Spelling error and this is the time where the sentences should be combined. "A few hours later, her mommy and daddy go looking for her, wanting to know where their sweet angel went."

Things I liked:
Your description was good. I like how you described her thoughts. It made me feel sorry for the character, even without not knowing much about her at all. Also, your writing structure was neat and easy to follow. I always appreciate it when an author takes their readers into consideration. The emotion of this story was so vivid, it felt like you were there with the character, feeling the hurt and dread she was feeling. It's a real shame she had to end her life.

Story line and plot:
I can't really say much about this since there wasn't much to read, and so little information to analyze. I really hoped you would of added more depth to the plot, or maybe a back story so we could have a full understanding behind it. But I like imagining in my own head what I think would have happened. You left a hint of mystery behind it which, to me, is very cool.

Overall:
Your story was well written. I would recommend going over everything and editing before you publish it, though. Editing and revising is a big part of making your story as neat and awesome as possible, so make sure to do just that. I can't wait to read more from you, my friend, and keep up the good work!

Ello darling ,I'm here for your review

Well, i do see a few typos in here. No completely noticeable but still there. 'knowing on one is listening' I am pretty sure that On one is supposed to be no one. I noticed another one but...I can't seem to detect it again XD

Anyway, it is very short which is understandable but I feel like you could lengthen it out. It looks like it has more potential to be turned into a lengthy short story. Most of the people eager to commit suicide also leave possibly a note, maybe express more of the arguments between her parents. You also mentioned 'No need to hit me mommy' and you could also go into more detail on the abuse. It is quite interesting but you just stop talking about some things that could be elaborated on.

The setting is beautiful, a very good detail placed there and all in all I think the story is good Just try to lengthen some things and I also notice you cut short on somethings. In a way it doesn't seem right like...
"He reaches for her hand, feeling something there, so he picks it up, surprised at what he sees."
That's a bit of a run-on sentence and you can split it up while keeping the suspense the same.

Just keep an eye on those and I think it'll be a lot cleaner all in all Glad to review and hope to read more