The Person In The Mirror

Great poem ad good content. I can perceive the feeling you're trying to give off. I think the flow needs a little work, though. I agree with what Deanie said about the last line. The last line will often make or break a poem. Making it nice and smooth will give the rest of the poem a more prominent meaning. Great job though, hun! I really did enjoy, that's just me being nit-picky ;P

I really like this poem. I found the last line a bit weird though, about his/her cold insides. Maybe there could of been a better way to finish off the poem like, "Who would could melt my icy heart?" or something. Not an important change but I just found that a little weird.

I also think that you ended the first two lines with me... that could've changed a little bit. Again, not very important

But apart from those minor details I found your poem expressive and very enjoyable to read

Great poem.

Maybe if you gave a little more on why he person feels cold and dark? Not necessary, but it would give the reader more of a background. Either way, the story holds emotion. It's not too deep though, and I think with maybe a few word changes, you could make it that more deep.

Mickeystwin33 wrote:Who is that dark-hearted person staring back at me?
The only people in this room are my reflection and me.
But that person can't be me,