Young Writers Society

Hello!

Overall I feel like the review of the artwork is based in the right place. There are a couple things that are missing, however, to really make it sparkle.

First off, most reviews now for art and literature have shorter paragraphs which are broken up to just a single idea. This allows you as a writer to delve into things more deeply because as you go into your next idea, you have a new paragraph with all that extra space. Right now you have the essay set up so that it's jumping through too many hoops at once and we don't really get to explore the painting with you as you write the essay.

To really get into the painting, I feel like we need just a rough summary at the beginning rather than a thorough examination of every piece of the painting. Your next several paragraphs can be about the individual objects and how they relate to the whole. You can actually spend an entire paragraph on each object considering there are so few in this painting. That way, when we get to the idea that these things are creating, through reflection, the image of a pregnant woman, we actually are already aware of things such as the bottle for getting bigger, and the table cloth and what they're from.

Also, whenever you use names of books or paintings, you need to indicate that it is a name of a book or painting by "Using Title Markers" Such As These. If it's a large major body of work of some sort, such as a magazine (which has collected articles and poems and such inside it), or a book (collections of chapters inside it), or a piece of art, it gets Italics which you can use the buttons on YWS to create. If it's a smaller piece such as a poem or an article they get "Quotations" that way we can tell that it's a name or title. You should also source things such as Lewis Caroll's Alice in Wonderland by saying who wrote it. Those are just things for writing essays though. It's to help people find what you're talking about quicker, and understand that you don't mean Disney's movie Alice in Wonderland rather than the book. That makes a difference when you want to know what sort of story we're talking about because the book and movie are different.

That being said, your essay itself makes some good points. I was disappointed to see you didn't have a counterargument in your essay/review, as I always thinks that makes things stronger, but it was well done. I do think you should have gone into more detail about the topics you brought up and really form a stable relationship between your assessment and the piece itself by talking about placement of objects and described the painting when it mattered to the argument rather than a summary at the top, but overall it was a good job.

To improve next time, I'd suggest you focus on what you want to say about the piece as you write it. Is your review going to be a support that this is good art? An argument that artwork is involved in personal life? Or are you going to be giving us a brief biography of an artist? This was written like an argumentative piece but it was really just descriptive, so you could've used a different format to really find a thesis and develop the image better. That's just my thoughts though.

Hello there!
I'll be quite honest, that was rather enlightening. Thank you so much. I'm not quite sure how to review a piece like this, so I believe all I can do is correct your grammar in a few places, as well as ask you a couple of questions pertaining to the piece, and your response. Let's dive into it, shall we?

Alright, so for the majority of this piece, you have relatively decent grammar. However, whilst I was reading, a few things caught my eye. I have emboldened the phrases that stood out.

Next to the woman Is a cup perched on an angle at the edge of the boat, an old brown bottle that looks to be holding a potion, a colourful vase of flowers that that has been painted in vigorous brush strokes that jump out the vase at every angle in resemblance to fireworks and a shaded black kettle that is self-poring.

This piece is from series of Alice in wonderland paintings Blackman created dedicated to his wife who was visually impaired, Blackman had the talking book of Alice in wonderland he obtained from the library for the blind on record that his wife loved to listen too, in not seeing any illustrations he found inspiration in his own imagination.

Blackmans use of blending brings a calmness and beauty to the waters that doesn’t clash with the chaos of the storm that can be seen as the future.