Young Writers Society

thankyou! ^_^ wow i've never had anyone corect my work so properly, thanx alot!

Wow! I really liked this one, Mia.
Here's a few things I need to point out though:

A stream flows quietly around her feet
Waiting for someone she wishes to meet.
Time ticks by, the stream [s]turns into[/s] becomes a river
She stands alone, [s]not wanting[/s] trying not to shiver.

What she doesn't recognise, is [s]that[/s] the river [s]is turning into the[/s] becoming a sea
Thinking to herself, 'Will he come back to me?'
And she stands strong, hoping with all her heart
That her hopes will never fall apart.

She believed that one day he would arrive,
And she still stands, she doesnt know if he's alive
The sea is [s]gradually turning[/s] gradually turns into an ocean,
The screams drown in the rising comotion

And [s]that's when[/s] now she starts to realise,
That the waterfall started and fell from her [s]own[/s] eyes