z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence

Hybrids: Chapter 5

by SkyVibes


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

Impatiently, Yagi sat for hours as he waited to be able to see Sako. He sat in a hallway with Nurse who kept him busy with conversation, telling him not to worry and that Sako would be okay.

Yagi wished he could fully believe her but he couldn’t. What if Sako really had gone insane? What if he wasn’t really getting better?

Yagi watched people walk back and forth through the maze of hallways. Men and women hurried around the building each holding a clipboard in their hands or some kind of information.

Finally, after two hours Yagi was called to come see Sako. His friend wasn’t fully there. He was still waking up. He was in a patient’s gown in a cot with an IV connected to him and a heart machine beeping steadily next to him. He also had a tube blowing oxygen into his nose. He had to get surgery on his arm. The piece of glass had cut far into his arm and now the injured arm was in a sling.

Yagi took his hand in his, “Hey, are you okay?”

Sako didn’t reply. It was like he heard only a noise and that was it. He looked at Yagi but it wasn’t him.

“What’s wrong with him?” Yagi asked Nurse

“He’s still coming too. They had to put him under, you know. He’ll be back to himself in no time though.”

“What’s happening to him?” He looked at Sako again and noticed the bruises caused by the tazer and the bruise on his face caused by Yagi. Yagi felt awful knowing that he had hurt his best friend.

The door opened and Doctor asked Yagi to follow him to his office. Yagi did and when they entered his office, each sat at his desk across from one another. Doctor took his glasses off and set them on the white desk. He ran his hands down his face. “Yagi, I…I haven’t been truthful to you. I feel like you should know what’s really happening here.”

“Okay….”

“I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Sakuro isn’t doing well. We’ve given him bandage after bandage to help him but he’s not getting better. Eventually, we’ll run out of bandages.”

The words hurt. Yagi couldn't say anything at first, “So… he’s going to…to die?’

“Yes. But not because of himself. He will become more dangerous here -there are too many triggers for him- and Leader will have him put down.”

“Like an animal?” Yagi asked. Doctor didn’t even look at him and didn’t answer. Yagi stood up, “You can’t kill Sakuro! You can’t!” He yelled. “He’ll get better, I promise!”

If only Yagi could believe his own promise.

“Yagi, listen. I don’t want to have to put him to sleep. Which is why I need to get you two out of here.”

Yagi froze and then sat back down, “What?” Did he hear Doctor correctly?

Doctor stood up and went to a metal door in his office that had the words “KEEP OUT” written on it. He gestured to Yagi to follow him, and Yagi did. Doctor opened the door and Yagi went inside with him. There were a lot of computers but then at the end of the room, there was a wall covered with pictures of kids' faces including Yagi and Sako’s. Some of them had notes written on them like Sako’s saying “demon” or “angel” and others had X’s crossed over them.

Yagi looked across the many unfamiliar faces before looking at Doctor. “What is this?”

“You’re part of a program that’s paid for by the government. A program that has been crumbling because you and Sakuro’s kind -with everything we do to help you- keep dying.” He glanced down at a trashcan with X’d photos lying inside it. He frowned.

“Program?”

“Yes. A program that was designed to make soldiers for war who are stronger than the armies we have now. Yagi, you’re not fully human. You’re either half angel or demon. Sako is half demon.”

Yagi didn’t know how to react. Was this a joke? But the look on Doctor’s face told him it wasn’t. He looked back at the photos and then at Doctor. “How do you know what Sako is but you don’t know what I am?”

“Because you haven’t changed yet. Sako is sick because he’s a demon and he’s going through fast changes. We are trying to help pace him because he can’t control himself yet, but while we are doing everything, we can for him, his body is rejecting everything we do to help him. His anger today didn’t start with Leader’s punishment. It was because the demon part of Sako had matured and awakened and wanted to get out. His ‘demon’, as we call it, will be fueled by anything. Especially emotions.”

“So, what happened to Sakuro will happen to me?” Yagi asked fearfully.

“Maybe. Demon’s have black blood. Angel’s have red. Depending on which you are will determine how you change.”

Yagi was confused. “But Sako has red blood.”

“Not anymore. When the demon part of him awoke, his blood cells changed. We have no idea why this happens to half-demons. But with you, your blood is still red. We don’t know anything else that tells us if an angel is an angel or if a demon is a demon other than the color of their blood.”

“So… is there a deadline to when this change will happen?”

“Yes. By the end of this month, if you haven’t had an episode like Sako, it means you are an angel. Angels don’t have such violent changes.”

Yagi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “So you’re telling me that everyone in this building is either half demon and half angel and no matter what happens you just end up killing us anyway if you can’t control us?”

“We exterminate the uncontrollable ones, yes. Imagine if an uncontrolled demon got out into the world, there would be chaos. The FBI would take you all away and kill you themselves. At least with us, it doesn’t hurt. The only thing you feel is a needle.”

“And what? Now you’re going to tell me that you guys experiment on us too? What about parents? Do we have families?”

“We experiment when you are younger so that you live longer. Demons and angels used to only live until they were thirteen. Now it’s sixteen.”

“What’s the oldest age to live?”

“Twenty-two.” He said “The oldest to live made it to twenty-two years of age and then he died of natural causes three years ago. After him, we started to change things in everyone’s genes and soon others died in their early twenties and when we saw that pattern of a growing lifespan we started a new program-your program- where we try to extend your lifespan beyond twenty completely.”

“What’s an average of angel and demon life spans?”

“Demons die sooner than angels. The man I told you about is the only demon recorded here to live as long as they did. I’m afraid Sakuro is already being torn apart by that demon part of him. Unless something changes, he won’t make it to even nineteen.”

The words stung. His best friend had a death sentence, and he didn’t even know about it. “And parents? Do we have parents?”

He frowned, “That’s classified.”

“Classified as we do, or we don’t because you had what you needed in a lab to create us?”

Again, Doctor’s silence answered his question.

Yagi backed away and shook his head, “Every year, you say send kids back to their families when we don’t have one. But you were actually killing them, weren’t you?”

He nodded sadly, “Yes, we were. It’s like they go insane, and they end up even hurting themselves. It’s for the best that we put them to sleep even though no one here wants that to happen. It’s safer for both parties.”

Yagi couldn’t speak. He wanted to. He wanted to scream and fall to his knees too. He wanted to die. All those years hoping to get picked at the end of the year to get freedom sooner, and all this time it was just a death sentence.

“I know not all of this makes sense to you, Yagi.” He touched Yagi’s arm but the teenager violently pulled away from the comforting touch.

“Don’t touch me, you murderer.” He snapped. He backed away from him and crossed his arms over himself as he looked down at the garbage can.

Doctor frowned. “This is why you and Sako are so important.” Doctor went on to say, “Whether it’s a natural death or decision made, almost no angels or demons make it to the end of their teenage years. You and Sako, or your section, are the only ones to live this long besides the half-demon who died three years ago.

“You two can be the key to finding out how to save so many more lives of those like you. Already your section is surpassing other sections in the past. With your help, we can make future half-demons and angels-

“‘Survive a little longer’?” Yagi interrupted, “Be better and stronger weapons?”

Doctor frowned. “The world is crumbling. We need our nation to stay strong. We can’t fight by ourselves.”

“So, you agree then. We’re only weapons.”

“I see all of you as my children. I don’t think of you as an object.”

“But inevitably we’re weapons.”

“If you stay here, yes. But here’s something incredible about you and Sakuro. Angels and Demons have always ended up fighting each other- even to the brink of death. But you and Sako never fight. Your section does not fight each other. You aren’t aggressive towards each other. You protect each other. You guys are the only ones who don’t try to attack one another. That is a success for this program.”

“But we’re still all weapons!” he yelled angrily. “What you’re saying is that it doesn’t matter if we live or die because if we die the next section will be the weapons! Do you not care? You say we are like your own, but you raising us like pigs to be slaughtered!”

“Yagi, you don’t understand. That’s what this program wants. But if I get you and your section out of here, the program will fail and everyone will be saved in the long run.”

Yagi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “How many of us are there in our section?”

“Five, not including you and Sako.”

“How many were there?”

“Ten in total. Three died of diseases or illness. You’re created, we don’t have control over if you are all created without imperfections.”

“How many sections are there?”

He sighed “There were twelve. Now there are three, including yours. While tweaking your genes made you live longer, it also caused…complications. Every section has different tweaks here and there. For whatever reason it’s only the last three sections that made it this far. We have a reset of ten new sections every two years.”

That means that this place at one time had over 100 angels and demons. Yagi was shocked.

“But that’s why I wanted to talk to you, Yagi.” Doctor said, “Your section is the most critical because of how far you guys have come and I know what Leader has in store for you. I can’t sit here and let it happen. I’m going to get you guys out. Not only will it help you and the others, but it means Sako will live. Keeping him here will kill him no matter what we try to do. There are people in this building who don’t want you guys to live.”

“What’s the point of leaving if we are all just going to die?! You said it yourself. The lifespan now is sixteen. We’re all beyond that point now. We can all die tomorrow.”

“But your sections might not die! But if you stay here, you will from what Leader plans on doing! Wouldn’t you rather die with freedom by your side and a whole world to explore or be in a cell for the rest of your life? Once you hit eighteen, we experiment again. With Leader in charge, there's no telling what he might do!”

Yagi didn’t say anything further for a moment.

Doctor put his hands on Yagi’s shoulders and looked at him with tears in his eyes, “Please, Yagi. Let’s just try. I can’t watch you all die. I can’t.”         


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Tue Aug 29, 2023 8:28 pm
Kaia wrote a review...



Greetings, Mercedes!
As promised, I have returned, though it took me a bit to remember all that had happened. ;)

So, the first thing I want to comment on is all the details you added. I particularly loved your details about just how many half angels and demons are being kept there. The number is massive and the fact that few sections have survived really adds intensity to the situation. Obviously, Yagi and Sako are very precious to this whole experimentation thing since they have such an unusual relationship. It leaves me really wondering why these two haven't torn each other apart yet. And that "why" is what's going to keep me reading. :)

Additionally, I have noticed that you are really adding a lot more details about what characters are doing during a conversation. That's really nice because it adds a mental image and breaks up dialogue. I especially loved the details about the wolf statues and Yagi pulling on the loose string on his shirt. Also, the part about the doctor rubbing his hands over his face really shows how anxious and uncertain he is. Well done!

I also want to comment on the intensity here. The revelation that Yagi is just an experimentation device is quite shocking and I think you did a great job showing how bewildered he was after hearing all that. It secures the idea that Yagi doesn't really know what to do and is quite confused. The theme of life or death is really strong here; it's almost like Yagi and Sako were supposed to die and haven't. That adds a lot of suspense.

The knowledge Yagi knows is really painful, and I get the feeling that Doctor didn't really want to share that information with him to save his feelings, but at the same time, he cannot bear to see the two killed and he almost seems to have a suspicious like for the two. Maybe because their close connection would make him even more guilty of he had to euthanize them. Poor guy. He really doesn't like his job, but he doesn't really have a choice about it...

A few critiques...


He had to get surgery done to his arm due to the cut on his arm

I got like this was a little repetitive. Try to avoid using "arm" twice in that sentence, maybe? I thought it sounded a little awkward.

Yagi took his hand in his, “Hey, are you okay?”

Same thing here with "his." Id try being more specific and use Sakos name there.

Lastly, I noticed some typos like when you were trying to write "silently" and "contemplating" I'd just give this a quick reread to try to fix some of those up. Also, reading your writing aloud really helps catch awkward sounding sentences if you have the time (and reasonable privacy XD)

Here's the quote for reference:
Doctor took his glasses off and set them on the white desk as he sat sieltnly as if he were contiplating on what he was going to say.


That's it for this one. See yuh in the next!
-Kaia
P.s sorry if there are typos and disorganization. I'm typing this on my phone. :(




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Sun May 28, 2023 11:07 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this was the largest chapter yet and it certainly didn't dissapoint in the amount of information that we got. I'm thrilled that we're learning so much now and I'm looking forward to seeing what more is going to happen here. It looks set for things to really expand out in the chapters to come now that so many secrets are out.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Yagi sat for hours as he waited to be able to see Sako. He sat in a hallway with Nurse who kept him busy and telling him not to worry and that Sako would be okay.

She was the only one who told him he would be okay.

Yagi wished he could fully believe her. What if Sako really had gone insane and he wouldn't get his friend back? What if he wasn’t really getting better?

Yagi watched people walk past them back and forth through the maze of hallways. Men and women hurried around the building each holding a clipboard in their hands or some kind of information.


Well it looks like Yagi was definitely allowed out to follow after Sako and see what ends up happening to him. Once again the magnitude of him being out of the room he has spent his entire life in doesn't seem to have any room to sink in here with the worry for Sako's life being so high.

Yagi was given permission to explore if he wanted if Nurse accompanied him, but he didn't want to leave. He wanted to see his friend as soon as he woke up. He wanted to be there if something happened.

Finally after two hours Yagi was called to come see Sako. His friend wasn’t fully there. He was still waking up. He was in a patient’s gown in a cot with another drip connected to him and a heart machine beeping steadily next to him. He also had a tube blowing oxygen into his nose. He had to get surgery done to his arm due to the cut on his arm. There was so much glass that they had to go further to get it out which now left his hurt arm healing in a sling.

Yagi took his hand in his, “Hey, are you okay?”

Sako didn’t reply. It was like he heard only a noise and that was it. He looked at Yagi but it wasn’t him.


Well that certainly doesn't seem particularly comforting there. Once again a massive thing to note there Yagi actually being allowed to explore the place. I'm sure its a very restricted area meant only to house medical things but it is still quite the situation to give but of course given how severe the injuries to Sako appears to be, its no wonder Yagi is in this current state.

“What’s wrong with him?” Yagi asked Nurse

“He’s still coming too. They had to put him under, you know. He’ll be back to himself in no time though.” She replied. She smiled comfortly. "You can move closer if you want too."

Yagi didn't move. “What’s happening to him?”

The door opened and Doctor asked Yagi to follow him to his office. Yagi did and they each sat at his desk across from each other. Doctor took his glasses off and set them on the white desk as he sat sieltnly as if he were contiplating on what he was going to say.


Well it seems even though Nurse there is a little bit more of an optimist about what's gone down so far Doctor is having some trouble figuring out exactly what he wants to say in this situation. That certainly doesn't bode well in terms of Sako actually recovering to full health.

Yagi looked around the large room. Each wall was lined with shelves covered with identical books and folders each with a different person's name. Behind his desk was a window with the curtains pulled over and a desk below it with two statues of wolves sitting on the top.

Yagi found the silence awkward and played with a strand of string that was loose on his shirt. The snap of it breaking as he pull it free was the loudest sound in the room.

Doctor sighed wearily and ran his hands down his face. “Yagi, I…I haven’t been truthful to you. I feel like you should know what’s really happening here. With what's happening to Sako, I don't think I can keep this from you anymore.”


Well that is quite the statement to make. I love how you let that silence build there and instead of simply telling us how awkward and quiet it get you actually show us right through the pacing itself and so this statement just pops out very powerfully and you just know its about to be devastating news.

“What do you mean?”

“Sakuro isn’t doing well. We’ve given him bandage after bandage to help him but he’s not getting better. Eventually we’ll run out of bandages.”

The words hurt as they stabbed their place into his heart. Yagi couldn't say anything at first. He swallows back the tears burning his eyes. “So… he’s going to…to die?’

“Yes. But not because of himself." He said quickly. "He will become more dangerous here -there’s too many triggers for him- and Leader will have him put down.”

“Like an animal?” Yagi asked. Doctor’s silence was his answer. Yagi stood up and a tear fell, “You can’t kill Sakuro! You can’t!” He yelled. “He’ll get better, I promise!”


Well that definitely was somehow even worse than what I was expecting it to be. Yagi definitely seems pretty desperate to try and get them out of the situation but the Doctor looks like there's only so much he can do and they've just all been hurled into a really bad situation right there.

If only Yagi could believe his own promise.

Doctor stood up quickly and hurried to Yagi. He placed his hands on his shoudlers and looked him in the eye. “Yagi, listen. I don’t want to have to put him...." He sighed and let go of Yagi. "Which is why I need to get you two out of here.”

Yagi backed away,“What?”

Doctor went to say something but shook his head and went to a metal door in his office that had the words “KEEP OUT” on it. He gestured to Yagi to follow him and Yagi did. Doctor opened the door and Yagi followed behind him. There were a lot of computers but then at the end of the room there was a wall covered with kids' faces including Yagi and Sako’s.


Oh dear, well it seems the Doctor is finally going to show us a few of his true colors here and it seems we're going to maybe see a firm siding with sort of the moral higher ground there in terms of the Doctor trying to set them free. This is certainly about to get very exciting, not even considering all of the other complications we'll have to worry about with Sako.

Yagi wiped his eyes and looked around the room littered with pictures. Some were thrown away and some had bold x's draw across them. “What is this?”

“You’re part of a program. A program that has been crumbling because you and Sakuro’s kind -with everything we do to help you- keep dying.”

Yagi touched the picture of Sako and quickly pulled away as the word repeated in his mind. He looked at Doctor, “Program?”

He nodded and leaned against the old wooden desk in front of them. “Yagi, you’re not fully human. You’re either half angel or demon. Sako is half demon.”


Oooh well that explains the whole hybrids things rather well I think, although I wasn't expecting a secret that large to get thrown at us this early. I am very eager to find out what exactly all of these complications could possible mean here. Things are definitely going places now.

Yagi didn’t know how to react. Was this a joke? But the look on Doctor’s face told him it wasn’t. He challenged the statement. “ Okay, so how in the hell do you know what Sako is but you don’t know what I am?”

“Because you haven’t changed yet. Sako is sick because he’s a demon and he’s going through fast changes that his body can't handle. We are trying to control that part of him because he can’t yet, but while we are doing everything we can for him, his body is rejecting everything we do to help him. His anger today wasn’t started with Leader’s punishment. It was because the demon part of Sako has matured and awakened and wants to get out. His demon, as we call it, will be fueled by anything. Especially emotions.”

That actaully...somehow made sense. Yagi looked at the pictures and then backed away from Docotr, “So what happened to Sakuro will happen to me?”


Well that certainly would explain a lot of the mysterious things that were happening earlier along with all of that sudden rage and just generally all of the horrors going on there. Let's see what else we can potentially expect to see from that whole situation. I'm sure this is simply the surface of it.

Doctor moved his head side to side. “Maybe. Demon’s have black blood. Angel’s have red. Depending on which you are will determine how you change.”

Yagi was confused and shook his head. “But Sako has red blood.”

“Not anymore. You saw it when he had his episode. When the demon part of him awoke, his blood cells changed. We have no idea why this happens to half demons. But with you, your blood is still red. We don’t know anything else that tells us if an angel is an angel or if a demon is a demon other than the color of their blood.”

“So is there a deadline?”


Well that's a nice plat to put that little bit of exposition. I think you just about manage to get away with telling us all of that because it is properly flanked by the plot on all sides for it to manage to work quite so well. Although I would still recommend being a touch careful of giving up so much information right away.

“Yes. By the end of this month, if you haven’t had an episode like Sako, it means you are an angel. Angels don’t have such violent changes.”

Yagi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “So you’re telling me that everyone in this building- every face on these damn walls- is either half demon and half angel and no matter what happens you just end up killing us anyway if you can’t control us?!”

He nodded and moved the the overflowing pile of x'ed pictures in the trash can next to him. “We exterminate the uncontrollable ones, yes. Imagine if an uncontrolled demon got out into the world, there would be chaos. The FBI would take you all away and kill you themselves after painful testing. At least with us it doesn’t hurt. The only thing you feel is a needle.”


Well that seems like the sort of thing Doctor has been telling himself for a while when he has to end up killing all of these pretty young kids here. And that definitely does throw up a whole whirl of extra emotions into the mix too. This is certainly going to have some consequences here.

Yagi was becomming mad. “And what? Now you’re going to tell me that you guys experiment on us too? What about parents? Do we have families?”

“We experiment when you are younger so that you live longer. Demons and angels used to only live until they were thirteen. Now it’s sixteen garenteed.”

“What’s the oldest age to live?”

“Twenty-two.” He said with a sad voice. “The oldest to live made it to twenty two years of age and then he died due to natural causes three years ago. We didn’t kill him. After him, we started to change things and soon others died in their early twenties and when we saw that pattern of a growing lifespan we started a new program-your program- where we try to extend your lifespan beyond twenty completely.”


Well we're definitely dealing with some rather low life spans and this whole program situation seems like its hardly doing anything to prolong any of that. Although the question of how the whole half angel and half demon thing happens seems to have gone noticeably unchanged so that's something to think about for the coming chapters. Doctor is clearly keeping that hidden on purpose.

“What’s an average of angel and demon life spans?”

“Demons die sooner than angels. The man I told you about is the only demon recorded here to live as long as they did. I’m afraid Sakuro is already being torn apart by that demon part of him. Unless something changes to his current conditions he won’t make it to even nineteen.”

The words hurt. His best friend had a death sentence of only about a little less than two years and he didn’t even know about it. “And parents? Do we have parents?”

“That’s classified.”


Well that seems about right. There's definitely more than one thing that the Doctor willingly didn't say anything about and this is the first one that Yagi picked up on enough to actually ask a pointed question about it. So far, Yagi has just managed to miss all of the notable omissions.

“Classified as we do and we can't know or we don’t because you had what you needed in a lab?”

Again Doctor’s silence answered his question.

Yagi backed away so much that he was a against a wall. He shook his head and sank to the ground “Every year, you send kids back to their families when we don’t have one. You're actually are killing them aren’t you?”

He nodded sadly, “Yes we are. It’s like they go insane and they end up even hurting themselves. It’s for the best that we put them to sleep even though no one here wants it to happen. I especailly don't want to put them down. It's not a process any of us enjoy.”


Well that's quite the statement to make even as Doctor here very much acknowledges that we're working with the fact that Doctor has put down many children already and probably will continue to do so despite not being a fan of it. Well, this at least makes it clear he isn't completely lying in this moment.

Yagi couldn’t speak. He wanted to. He wanted to scream and fall to his knees too. He wanted to die. But he was numb. He couldn't move. All those years hoping to get picked at the end of the year to get freedom sooner, and all this time it was just a death sentence.

“I know not all of this makes sense to you, Yagi. But this is why you and Sako are so important.” Doctor went on to say, “Whether it’s a natural death or decision made, almost no angels or demons make it to the end of their teenage years. You and Sako, or your entire section, are the only ones to live this long besides the half demon who died three years ago.

Section? There was an entire section?


Well it seems whatever tiny bits of progress is being made here in this process it has reflected relatively well. I also love how in that sense the entire section is special not simply these two being the odd ones out. Somehow that makes everything feel a tiny bit more grounded in reality even among a concept this outlandish in a broader sense.

“You two can be the key to finding out how to save so many more lives of those like you. With your help, we can make future half demon and angels-

“‘Survive a little longer’? Was that what you were going to say?” Yagi interrupted. He looked up at Doctor and gestured to the whole wall next to him, “What’s the point of this anyway? What do you plan on doing with us?”

“The world is crumbling. We need our nation to stay strong. We can’t fight by ourselves.”

He scoffed and ran a hand through his blond hair. “So we’re weapons.”


Well that's quite the revelation once again. Wasn't expecting all of this talk of angels and demons to come down to simply needing weapons. And needing weapons in a crumbling world is already a bit of a red flag in terms of what the people running these programs are actually trying to do. Well I suppose we will find out the rest of this eventually.

“Yes. But here’s something incredible about you two. Angels and demons have always ended up fighting each other- even to the brink of death. But you and Sako never fight. Your section does not fight each other. You aren’t aggressive towards each other. You protect each other. You guys are the only ones who don’t try to attack one another.”

“How many of us are there in our section?”

“Five, not including you and Sako.”

“How many were there?”

“Ten in total. Three died.”

“How many sections are there?”


Well that little revelation at the start has been somewhat glossed over but I have a feeling somehow that bit of information shouldn't be cast aside and is actually going to end up being pretty central to everything in times to come. Angels and demons helping each other really seems like a bit of a step forward. Finding out quite how many people are held captive is also a pretty neat detail there and I think once again you've squeezed it in there quite well.

He sighed “There were twelve. Now there are three, including yours. While tweaking your genes made you live longer, it also caused complications. Every section has different tweaks here and there. For whatever reason it’s only the last three sections that made it this far.”

That means that this place at one time had over 100 angels and demons. Yagi was shocked.

“But that’s why I wanted to talk to you, Yagi.” Doctor said, “Your section is the most critical because of how far you guys have come and I know what Leader has in store for you. I can’t stand here and let it happen and watch you all go through the torture. I’m going to get you guys out. Not only will it help you and the others but it means Sako will live. Keeping him here will kill him no matter what we try to do. I can promise you he will die in Leader's care. There are people in this building who don’t want you guys to live.”


Well it looks like whatever careful alterations are going on here, this Leader person is much too result oriented to see much of it through and is just playing everything to whatever rulebook he has to follow. Doctor here either out of care or just interesting in watching the science play out wants them to live for now. That definitely puts an interesting spin on things and I think its a nice little believable set of motivations and it ends up working out really well. I can't wait to see how all of this will pan out as we progress further.

“What’s the point of leaving if we are all just going to die?! You said it yourself. The lifespan now is sixteen. We’re all beyond that point now. Dammit, we can all die tomorrow! What's the point?!”

“You might not die! That's what I'm trying to say! But if you stay here, you will! Wouldn’t you rather die with freedom by your side and a whole world to explore instead of being in a cell for the rest of your life? Once you hit eighteen, we experiment again. With Leader in charge there's no telling what he might do!”

Yagi didn’t say anything further for a minute. If they left they might die. If they stayed they would die. If they tried to escape?

Doctor put his hands on Yagi’s shoulders and looked at him with tears in his eyes, “Please, Yagi. Let’s just try. I can’t watch you all die. You need to live.”


Well those tears can certainly mean several things but choosing that just maybe is out of a little bit of care, this does bring us to a very interesting halt here. I think you've gone and picked a particularly interesting spot to stop us here. I have a feeling Yagi's decision isn't going to be hard to predict but the consequences are set to be quite large.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think you've done a lovely job with this one, revealing some important points and doing it quite well so that we still have enough mysteries to be thinking of in addition to the characters that we're invested in but now we've also had just enough questions of ours answered that we can try and come to yet more conclusions about what might be in store for us.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




SkyVibes says...


Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reading Hybrids!

I'm glad you like the chapter!
Thank you for leaving a review!

-Mercedes



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Tue May 23, 2023 6:41 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Oh man…it’s just what I thought. Sako is a demon and Yagi is an angel. But this practice…I didn’t see that one coming. Maybe they’re all dying because of their experiments and because they’re being treated like lab rats. Maybe if people stopped worrying about them losing control, they wouldn’t lose control. They wouldn’t be rightfully hostile around humans.

Great chapter! I wish you a fantastic and wonderful day/night.




SkyVibes says...


Hi! Thank you for reading Hybrids!
Did you at any point of this chapter feel confused? Like maybe something wasn't explained right?

-Mercedes





No, I wasn%u2019t confused.



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Sun May 21, 2023 12:11 am
MerleBlackbird wrote a review...



Wow! Finally some answers! But... Things are looking nonetheless grim. I still really hope that Yagi and Sako can survive, they seem to have a really great friendship and I've grown rather attached to them. Also, just gloat a little, I KNEW Doctor could be trusted! I'm also very thrilled to finally know a little bit more about what's going on. So Yagi seems to be half angel, and Sako is half demon. I like that combination. I'm curious to see where this takes the story. Also, I may have missed/forgotten something from the first chapter before I really got the hang of what was going on, but this seems to be the first time that we (the readers) get some description on the characters. We now know that they are 17 years old and, apparently, Yagi has blonde hair. So now, automatically (hehehe) I'm picturing Sako with black hair. Please tell me if I'm right! :-)

I also have to say that I really like the whole experiment / program thing you have going on. This was rather what I suspected might be happening, but it makes for a satisfying answer to a few of the many questions. It also adds an element of chilling creepiness that there are lots of other kids in this program that Yagi and Sako never new to exist. Which reminds me of something else that I finally found out in this chapter: what Yagi and Sako know / have been told about their situation, families, and future. I was wondering what they might know about normal life and if they had any expectations for connections, relatives, a home, etc that might exist in the outside world. I also appreciate the mystery of how we have still not been told if the characters do have families or (most disturbingly) were created in a lab solely for the purpose of experimentation and supposedly saving the lives of others. Of course if they were created in a lab, that would mean that Doctor is probably not telling them something. I say that because I can't think of a reason why you might create people in a lab to save the lives of more people who are created in that same lab. That being said, it's still hard to tell.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter - and baiting my breath as to what Yagi will do (though I imagine he will take the only option he really has and accept the doctor's offer.) PS please forgive any errors I made while writing this review, I was trying to type this out on my phone: it took a long time hahaha :-)




SkyVibes says...


Heya!

Yay! I'm so glad you read another chapter and enjoyed it!

It may have also been the very lack of description I have for my characters that made you feel like you forgot something about them from previous chapters. I definitely need to work on that. But YES you are correct!
Funny enough, I'm also an artist (writing is kinda of a side hobby) and I can draw the characters exactly how I want BUT I cannot for the life of me seem to describe them how I want them to be described XD
There's another author here (@vampicone6783) who puts their characters on their wall which I think is SUPER neat (I would also check out their writing if you haven't already). I kinda want to do that for Yagi and Sako :D

I'm glad you like the idea I had for the program they are a part of. I hope it made sense. I'm really struggling with the thought that maybe no one would understand and lose interest....

I reply from my phone too sometimes so no hard feelings here LOL!!

Also, just bcs I'm curious and if you don't mind answering....which character do you like the most so far?

Thank you for reading!

-Mercedes





YES!! Do that!! I would totally love to see drawings of these characters!! So...I have a soft spot for this whole *program* thing because I'm actually writing something currently that has a faintly (very faint, don't stress) similar concept. I also write with a lot of close-and-personal medical detail and creepy misunderstanding/knowledge gaps, so this type of thing appeals very strongly to me. I would tell you what probably everybody says: don't worry about what other people like/dislike because you can't please everyone and someone out there will inevitably love you work. Howwweevvvveeerrr I also completely understand where you're coming from. Cowardly me hasn't dared to put anything on here because I'm just not eager to feel all depressed when nobody cares. BUT!! This story is awesome, so don't think twice about carrying on!!

Describing characters can be plain HARD. You don't want to info-dump right at the beginning (especially because the reader is so new to the story they won't remember/care/put-names-to-faces yet) BUT you also want to tell the reader what they should be picturing. Very hard. Very, very hard.

I couldn't choose between Yagi and Sako for my favorite character. They need each other to be complete. You have Yagi, who we understand and sympathize with, and Sako who we wonder about and sympathize with. It's the perfect recipe, plus the bonus of a good relationship.



SkyVibes says...


You should post it! At least try it! You can also take down your writing if you don't want it up anymore.

Yeah. Describing is a challenge lol.

I'm glad you like them both!




You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time