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Young Writers Society



One Sunny Day it started to Rain

by Melodie


Not so long ago, Melodie Conly was born, but not only was she born, she also lived quite an interesting life. However, her life is not the issue here. The real issue would be the day she became interesting.

***

On an English summer day, she sat quite complacently on the swing of her front porch. The reason for her complacency of course was the weather. Anybody who’s ever lived in England for any length of time knows that a rain coat, an umbrella, and a pair of galoshes quickly will become his or her most valuable assets. Consequently, that day she waited, outside instead of in, for her husband.

They lived in a secluded little town, close enough to London to be called a suburb, and yet far enough away to be called the country. That day her husband, Joseph, worked “in town”, in other words, London. Joseph himself became interesting around the age of seven, when his father took him to a commercial audition. Now he’s in his twenties and thoroughly famous—and now, perhaps, the purpose for living in a “secluded little town” is evident.

Melodie sat on her swing, slowly moving back and forth, thinking about her life. Only a few short years ago she met Joseph, who turned her life into a cyclone of activity. Parties, press conferences, and, occasionally, wearing a disguise to escape it all, became every day life. As soon as the world found out Joseph was with someone, she couldn’t ever look at walking outside the same way again.

Melodie smiled as she thought back on the day she ran right into a “star.” How and why she ended up in London is irrelevant; the point is: she did. Unlike the beautiful day that brought her out onto her porch, the day of her most unlikely meeting, it rained. It was, in fact, the dreariest day of her life up to that point. In the gray, ugliness of the day—and they were quite gray and ugly themselves—somehow they located each other.

To this day, neither one of them can say how it happened, but they don’t really care anyway. All that matters to them is that it happened.

And so, Melodie rose to greet the black car making its way down her driveway with a smile and an affectionate wave—just as the rain began to fall.

***

When Joseph’s father asked him why he found a girl in his sixteen year old son’s hotel room he said, “Because I don’t know how, but we’re going to save each other.” For this to come out of a sixteen year old boy’s mouth seemed a bit strange to his father, but his son never was really normal.

The life of a child actor is never normal, but when you add a control freak, obsessive compulsive mother and a desperate fear of all journalists on the account of a completely different story, a totally different breed of adolescent comes into being.

Joseph grew up always looking for the emotional comfort he wasn’t getting from his parents. His mother never counted for much for the above reasons and his father always gave him someone to talk to, but he treated Joseph mostly like a friend. So with parents who weren’t really any good at being parents what was a boy to do? Find his Melodie, that’s what.

***

He leapt onto the porch out of the downpour into Melodie’s hug.

“Remember the day we met?” Melodie asked pulling back to look at him.

“Yeah and . . .” Joseph responded with a laugh.

She shook her head. “Nothing, let’s go inside, you’re soaked.”

Smiling and laughing, they tumbled through the front door.


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56 Reviews


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Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:10 pm
Snip Snip wrote a review...



Hmmm... It's kind of confusing, and you don't really GET into any of the characters. You defentily need to build up the characters WAAAAAAY more, describing physically and mentally. The plot is kinda confusing too. You should make the plot WAY more defined. Other than that... It was short. OK, though. :)




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Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:42 am
Madhatter66 says...



I agree with emotion_less, don't keep the very beginning unless life depends on it




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Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:13 am
Melodie says...



Thanks for the comments. I didn't write this to be strictly romantic fiction. It just seemed to fit there above all the other categories when I posted it here. I see what you mean about setting Mack. I tend to get really into the set. The why of that is completely beyond me . ..

emotion_less, I see what you mean by rushed. I think I rushed it because this was originally a narritive essay for Advanced English Composition. Since my teacher would kill me if I really went as far as I wanted to, I forced it to be short.

What I was really looking for in a review of this piece was a way to expand it into what it should be.




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Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:14 pm
Mackdaddy77 says...



It was alright.

Its just you need to focus more on the subject "Romantic Fiction".

When you talk of love write more about love instead of setting.

Good though, keep it up.




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Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:03 am
emotion_less wrote a review...



The little snippet in the beginning doesn't really seem to be necessary...

The reason for her complacency of course was the weather.
I don't think you should go right out to say this. Maybe be a little less subtle?

I didn't really like this story... It seemed way too rushed. I think you should describe the scenes that are happening a little more. For example, you would start introducing a character and make the character interact with another. However, the emotion behind it is kind of told, not shown, so the reader feels nothing while reading the action. I liked the tone for this though... I think it would be more interesting if you slowed down the story.





Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.
— Adrian Mitchell