~~~Editing~~~
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Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Will have to agree with Ofour on that one :S If you post loads of things at once people won't bother to read them all (like I havent) I notice that you are new here and have actually only posted seven tihngs. You need to have atleast two posts (crits) to every post you post, thats just the way things are done here. Anyway, rant over, I shall now take a look at the poem.
I don't write poetry myself as i am just bad at it, so I don't know if i can crit this very well....but here it goes anyway...
This is OK, but nothing spectacular. In all honesty i just didn't get it :s What was the point of it? What emotions was it trying to get across? Was there a message? I just don't know. It might just be me but meh. As i said, i don't write poetry, but when i read it I want to feel something in the words, I don't want to just read it and forget about it. Try to really grab the reader, pull them in and make them remember your poem.
This needs work...but I loved the first line:
No Fancy Shirts Or Frilly Skirts
When i read that I thought it was going to be a more simple cute poem, but it wasn't, I'm not sure what it was. Sorry, I don't seem to have been much help here! But i tried!
Meevs
Six pieces in a row? You might want to consider limiting yourself to one a day.