Published October 16, 2015
Beware the monsters that lurk beneath skin,
The ones that claw and gnaw your inner side,
For they can be guileful and like to bide
In unguarded chasms from deep within,
But if you find they have worn your core thin,
And there are no remedies left untried,
No tucked-away caches left free to hide,
Do not close your heart away in chagrin.
Reach out your arms, be it blinded or not,
And feel your way through the shadows, the dark,
And open your mouth to bellow and bark.
It will awe you how many heed your cry—
Former fighters of the demons you fought
Who dared to deny, who dared to defy.
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140,696 Literary Works • 673,636 Reviews
Hey, Maverick.
The first thing I noticed was how this thing is organized. I love this poem, but it'd look so much nicer if you separated it into paragraphs. The length of your lines are perfect, nice work, but those stanzas... just take that into consideration.
The rhyme scheme was a little mixed up, but I appreciate the time you took to create one.
This line feels like it wouldn't belong at the end, it feels more of like something you'd use for an introduction to an important sentence.
Nice work, lovely poem, just take my tips into consideration?
Sorry I didn't have any more to critique on, this was pretty awesome.
I love this, I love how it doesn't just talk about external threats, but instead the internal threats. The ones that are within us that no one are there unless we tell them.
I don't know if you meant this or not, but I actually connected it with depression and how unless you tell someone, unless you callout, no one will know that it's there and when you do call out the amount of people who have dealt with, and beat, depression.