Young Writers Society

- I am not sure if this is a poem because it does not really have a specific format to it. Are you starting a new line every time there is a pause?

- Other than that, I have no complaints. This piece of work makes a wonderful comparison between being transgender and wearing a too tight pair of jeans. It gives a complicated topic a more simple explanation that anyone can understand. I also like the parallelism throughout your work, such as the part when you said,
"Let me be me
Let me be me
Let me be human
Let me breathe
Let me be happy"
or the part when you said,
"No matter how much it digs into my skin
No matter how uncomfortable
No matter how much my flesh will break and bleed..."
It really serves to emphasis your points in certain places and helps to make sure that the most important points are really seen by the reader.

This is beautiful, as are you, no matter what people say

Wow...I came with the intent to review, but this piece is just...Wonderful. I have no critique whatsoever. Beautiful, beautiful job.

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

So we've already met. That's been established. Once again, welcome to the site! I really do hope that you end up enjoying it here, because I know that I do.

I'm always in support of works that are about the LGBTQ+ community, and this is no exception. At the same time, that doesn't mean I don't have criticism of the poem. The first aspect that I noticed about this is that it's very blatant. This could be for better or for worse, depending on if you're attempting to be subtle or attempting to be more direct with your theme. Right now, you are most definitely in the latter group.

The theme is crystal clear in what you're attempting to get across, and this turns out to almost be the flaw of the poem. This doesn't mean that you can't have a central theme or message that this is built around, because you can. The problem is more rooted in the fact that there's not much else to the poem.

There's a lack of poetic devices, which I believe that you could use to your advantage to help sway the reader to understand the subject matter if they're not already familiar or empathetic to what you're writing about. Personally, I could get behind the topics that this poem touched on because I also identify as Trans, being female, but not all will, because not all people can directly relate. That's why metaphors and similes and all these other types of figurative language are here to help make the reader understand what it's like for the speaker.

Metaphors and similes and even analogies are there to help compare this emotion that the speaker is feeling to something that the audience could potentially understand. I can see how you based this more in spoken word, since that's how I ended up reading this poem. Spoken word is more pinpointed on a particular theme or concept. More vocal and less focused on imagery or atmosphere or any of those devices. As a poem that's to be read with the eyes, though, I found this to be on the weaker side.

I'm confused by the inconsistencies in the punctuation--at the end of the poem you use periods but earlier in the poem, they aren't there at all. I'd be okay with this if you were consistent in using punctuation. You can use commas and question marks and not have to use periods. You don't have to use them at all, even if that's not my personal preference. You can use periods and commas and question marks and semicolons as one would do in regular grammar, but be consistent with it. If you're not using periods in the beginning, don't start in the middle of the poem, is what I'm trying to say.

You capitalize the first letter of each line, which is okay because it's a stylistic choice for you to make, but I question why. I can still say that I'm not a fan of how you do this, even if you're allowed to. I would be more convinced if you explained why you've chosen to do this, even if your answer is just that you thought that it looked pretty or that it helped the aesthetic of this poem.

Overall, this work roots itself better in theme and in being similar to spoken word than it does with the structure or the imagery, both I found to be a little lacking. If you're wanting this to be read by someone in quiet rather than read aloud just by voice, then I suggest that you add more focus in using poetic devices and the structure, aesthetic, and other aspects that are more visual even though these can help you when it comes to spoken word as well. The theme is clear, but consider how much of this you want to be bluntly put and how much you want based in subtlety.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day!